


Dear Professor - Snape x student!reader

by Cry_Kitty



Series: Severus Snape x reader [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blowjobs, Cruciatus, Danger, Developing Relationship, Drama, F/M, Fingering, First Love, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Grimmauld Place, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous, Jealousy, Lemon, Light Dom/sub, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Love/Hate, Pain, Patronus, Public Sex, Reader-Insert, Romance, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Slug Club, Smut, Teacher x Student, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teen Romance, Unrequited Love, Weasley Family, jealous boyfriend, severus has earned love, smut later in the story, snape / reader, snape lemon, snape smut, snape x reader, snape x reader lemon, snape x reader smut, spinner´s end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:00:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 51,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8530453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cry_Kitty/pseuds/Cry_Kitty
Summary: Snape receives a love letter from an anonymous student.  What to do when he finds out who sent it? Will he be able to become aware of his own feelings and finally let go of the past?-.-.-.You are a student in your sixth year and fall in love with your Professor.-.-.-.Severus Snape x reader romance storywarning: smut starts in chapter 5, description of pain (not violence!) in chapter 7

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In memory of Alan





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I´m still grieving Alan Rickman's death. It´s so unfair that diseases like cancer can simply take our loved ones away.  
> Also I think Severus has deserved a lot of love and I´m willing to give it to him.  
> Comments appreciated! <3

**Dear Professor,**  
Please excuse my faint-hearted way of letting you know how I feel about you.  
For weeks I haven´t been able to keep my eyes off your enchanting appearance at every chance there is  
When you pass by me in the corridors, while I feel my heart beat increasing its pace and my feet coming to a stop even though you never let me bath in the feeling of your gaze upon me for longer than a few seconds  
In class I feel myself blushing every time I´m able to give you the right answer, longing for you to reward me with a smile or a few warm words even though I only get five points for my house  
Every graceful move you make, every well-chosen word that leaves your lips  
Makes me only desire you more.  
I fear that at every moment that I´m watching you, secretly admiring from afar, you might turn your head to look right at me, knowing what feelings I hold and judging me because it´s wrong.  
I know it´s wrong for me to long for someone like you, professor, but when I look in your eyes I don´t see coldness and wrath.  
Instead, I see passion, warmth and a hidden need for love that I wish to satisfy.  
Please don´t judge me for my feelings. I´m afraid you´ll break my heart into pieces when you find out who I am, so I decide to remain anonymous.  
In love, xxx

The potions master Severus Snape stared at the letter in his hands. Did he, the lonely dungeon bat of Hogwarts, just received a _love letter? From a student?_ The professor looked at it in shock, reading some passages from it again, knowing the meanings of the words right before his eyes but failing to see why someone would send them to _him_.

For years he had been teaching at Hogwarts and never received a letter or a female’s attention. Snape started to think, had he ever received a love letter at all in his whole life? At the moment he couldn´t recall a time when he had.

From what information the black eyed man could get from the text, it had to be one of his students. A frown spread across the professors’ face, trying to recall all of his female students and try to decide on who it could be.

But the black haired man quickly came to the conclusion that it was pointless to try to determine the culprit. How had the letter even got here? Someone had put the inconspicuous envelope onto his desk in his classroom during dinner. That was a really dangerous method, considering the person had to sneak away from the hall, the possible gazes of the whole school on them, while they rushed to the professor's classroom.

So the person really didn't want him to know their identity.

Snape's hands slowly sank and he looked up from the letter, gazing at the door of his classroom that was half open. As he narrowed his eyes he could see a shadow moving from behind the door and he quickly strode over, being able to slam it open without much use of his strength. But behind the door only laid the empty corridors of the dungeon, not a shy blushing student.

Should he tolerate this behaviour? A student of him had just confessed their love for the dark haired professor. Should he even try to find out who it was?

× Ɔ ɷ C ×

The next days, Severus paid attention to whoever was looking at him whenever he hurried through the corridors, sitting at the professors table in the great hall or teaching in the dungeons.

The shy words of the letter had not left his thoughts and he still wondered why a young girl would dare to admire him.

The potions master started to get paranoid, hissing at students that stared at him for too long, even when it was in his class. He even avoided giving detention to avoid his students presence, instead just deducting more points from the students houses. The whole school was more scared than ever by the mysterious professor, everybody avoiding him at every chance outside of class and trying to be invisible in class.

However, it was like the black eyed man felt a gaze upon him wherever he went. Whatever he did, the tall man felt stares upon him from every direction, he couldn't escape, no corner of Hogwarts saved him from being watched.

`I must be getting paranoid, really…´the man thought to himself, slim fingers wrapping themselves around his wand as he was on his way from the dungeons to the library.

_“Lumos!”_

Immediately, the dark hallways lit up. It was winter, that was why it was getting dark already at this time of the day, or very late afternoon to be precise.

He needed to freshen up his knowledge about the aconite root, an ingredient that he would need for future classes. It was highly toxic and he had to make sure none of his students died. At least not in his class.

Severus entered the huge library, passing by the huge shelves in search for the potions section. Eventually, he found it. But what he found wasn't only the book he had searched for initially, but a student. The sorcerer recognised her as a girl from his potion class.

It seemed like she had been reading a book and then fallen asleep on it, because she half sat half laid against one of the huge shelves.  
“Would you be so kind and wake up?” Snape hissed, his voice being demanding and not having a hint of a plea in it.

The girl awoke from her slumber as she heard the sharp voice, opening her eyes just to stare into the ones of her potions professor. After a few seconds her eyes widened and she realized the situation she was in right now. Almost jumping to her feet she got up, smoothing out her skirt in hectic movements and looking at the ground.

“The curfew starts in exactly 13 minutes, Miss (…), and I assume you do not want to spend your night sleeping on the floor in the library.”  
Startled by his cold words, the girl looked into Snape's eyes for a few seconds, only able to give a response that consisted of softly shaking her head. The professor got irritated of her constant eye contact, snapping at her.

“Goodnight, Miss (…)”, he hissed at her, making her almost jump and murmurer a ´g-goodnight, professor´ back at him while she hurried out of the library.

Still in rage, Snape looked at the book that the girl had fallen asleep upon. It was a potions book. The wizard started to wonder. The girl was a Gryffindor. He had never awarded her a big amount of intelligence and she wasn't the best in his class. However, he knew that she studied a lot because she could answer the questions to which you could learn the answers by heart. Still, she lacked the grasp when it came to potions.

Maybe…. She had been the girl that had wrote the letter? From how she had been staring at him right now. And Severus was almost sure that he had seen her blushing.

He fetched up the book from the library that he needed and went to his bedchambers. On his way, he was still in rage. In rage about her eyes.

Those goddamned eyes. They had been so wide and full of angst yet a hidden note of affection. And now her eyes haunted him wherever he went.

But her they couldn't compare to Lily´s. They had been rich green and full of life, while the eyes of his student looked blank and almost lifeless.

How much he had wanted to get a love letter from Lily. Still now, the mighty wizard hadn´t overcome his first love and the heartbreak that is bound to come with it.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You too receive a note. Where does it lead you?

You were nearly running at a break-neck speed down the hallways to your dormitory, always on the verge of misplacing your feet and stumbling. The encounter with your favourite professor had left a tingle on your cheeks and you were sure by now they were crimson red.

As you reached the entrance to your Gryffindor dormitory you blurted out the password and ran up to the girls bedroom. It was just in time, because seconds afterwards you heard a bell ring that signalled the curfew.

“(...), what´s up? You look like you just saw a ghost!” A friend of you was still awake. She was sitting on her bed, a book in one hand and a glowing wand in the other. It looked like she had been waiting for you.

“That sums it up well…” you muttered, going up to a small mirror that was hanging next to your bed to look at yourself. Your face was white as a sheet, making your red cheeks only stand out more. With a sigh you let yourself fall back and stare up at the ceiling of your bunk bed.

That was what nearly always happened when you had an encounter with Professor Snape. You rarely met him outside the classroom though. At the start, you had always blushed madly in his class, whenever you were allowed to answer one of his questions or whenever he looked at you.

But with time you had learned to conceal the feeling that pooled in your stomach whenever you saw him. It felt scary, but at the same time it felt wonderful, like the tickling of butterfly wings, a roller coaster ride or a beautiful stormy sea.  
Even though you knew it was horribly wrong, you weren´t ashamed of the feelings that you held.

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

You couldn´t hold yourself back from looking over to the teacher´s table as you were sitting in the great hall, munching down your breakfast. Professor Snape was sitting at the very end of it, absentmindedly moving his fork back and forth on his plate. How did he manage to always look intimidating even while doing something so mundane as eating?

You propped up your chin on your hands, shoving a spoonful of cornflakes into your mouth. So many thoughts crossed your mind when you were looking at him. Had he read the letter yet?

As you were thinking, Snape raised his head only a little bit and gazed over at the Slytherin table, probably trying to find his favourite student along the green robes shoulder to shoulder. The whole school knew he favoured his own house and that he hated the house you were in… You were about to gulp down the food inside your mouth when suddenly, his gaze came to linger upon you. Startled by the sudden eye contact you choked on your cornflakes, your hands letting the spoon fall to the ground as they gripped around your throat. Your face went red with embarassment as you were trying to cough up your cornflakes and you quickly turned your back to the teacher´s table. The surrounding students started laughing at the funny sight but you couldn´t care less. After a few minutes - which you feared to be your last- you finally recovered your breath, laying your head exhaustedly upon the table.

× Ɔ ɷ C ×

The day went by without furhter incidents and - not to your liking - without seeing your favourite professor.  
However, when you came back into your dormitory after dinner, you found a tiny letter to sit upon your bed. Wait. A letter? Who in the world would write you a letter and not send it to you by owl? Frowning, you grabbed the small envelope which wasn't any bigger than the palm of your hand and opened it, making sure none of the other girls were observing. The internal pressure was dark green and inside was only a tiny note.

**“Meet me in the greenhouse after dinner”**

You felt your stomach twist inside your body, a queasy feeling taking over your mind. Had  _he_  written the letter? How did he know that it had been you who sent the last one? You didn´t feel great at all, sitting on your bed because you felt your knees getting weak. What if you were thrown out of Hogwarts now? Today could as likely be your last day here. Your eyes teared up at the thought. Hogwarts was your home and the other students and teachers were your family. What should you do?

A quick look at the clock which hands consisted of hawk´s feathers that was hanging on the wall told you 6:15 pm. Dinner had officially ended 15 minutes ago. You closed your eyes for a last time and inhaled deeply, then standing up and heading to the greenhouse as quickly as possible.

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

The air in the greenhouse was damp and heavy and warm. You needed a few seconds to get used to it, considering the air was freezing cold and crystal clear outside. It was right before sunset and your eyes darted around the large room, not a single sign of a person being here. You took a few steps into the room, walking up to the middle to a large table with strange looking plants sitting upon it.

“…hello?” You called out softly, looking around. Still nothing. “I came alone!” You said, a bit louder this time. Maybe the note had just been a prank. Anyways, your nerves were on edge and you bit your lip, your heartbeat going fast and loud in your chest.

There was the sound of a footstep behind you and you spun around, hand gripping your wand and ready to fight as you froze when you saw the person towering in front of you. Your face went pale and you almost couldn´t seem to move.

“Late again, aren't we, Miss (...)?” A familiar voice said to you, mocking you but at the same time sounding very strict.

“P-professor Snape….” Was all you managed to say, every other possible word being swallowed by his strict gaze.

“Miss (…). Am I right in my assumption that it was you who wrote a letter concerning your _“_ feelings” for me?” His voice dripped of taunt and his eyes bored sharp little daggers right into your soul as he talked in his usual manner.

You weren´t able to say anything, your whole body shaking as your head sunk down and you looked at your feet in shame. To put it simple, you felt _horrible_. Being mocked by him because of your feelings was the least pleasant thing you had imagined to happen. You felt so small standing in front of him. Not only because he was remarkably taller than you, but because his words, far more only his presence, made you feel like a small stupid child.

“I am sure you and your fellow Gryffindors had a good laugh writing it. Be aware that your hoax may cost you far more than only laughter.“ His voice was only a hiss now and you suddenly worried for you life. But… his words left you feeling strange. Finding the courage to raise your head, you looked up at him again, cold black eyes boring into yours.

“It wasn´t a joke, Professor.” Your voice was barely more than a whisper. “I…I was the only one writing it, I swear no one else than me knows of the letter, I –“

_“Enough!”_

The sharpness in his voice almost made you flinch and you started trembling, not daring to say another word. Snape looked like he was about to kill you, looking down at your smaller form with a cold and furious gaze. The black haired man had taken a step forwards and the tips of your shoes were almost touching. He leaned down to you only a little bit, his voice, although it wasn't loud, sounding so sharp and cold you were scared it could hurt you physically.

“I know you Gryffindors, always wanting to fool everyone just to have your absurd little understanding of _fun_ , then try to be honourable by protecting the ones involved in your plans.  
I could have you expelled from school for this. I could give this letter to the headmaster and then find out who else was involved in this or _maybe_ I could poison your food and have you choke on every single piece of it. Wouldn't that be _fun_? ”

His threat didn´t leave you unaffected. By the time he was finished you had tears in your eyes that threatened to fall down your cheeks, your body trembling under his gaze. The sight of you seemed to please him a little bit as he leaned backwards again, straightening his back to look down at you. After a few seconds in which you weren´t able to say anything to your defence he turned on his heel, ready to leave the greenhouse with his cloak flying behind him.

“P-Professor!” you cried out, a single tear falling down your cheek. “Please, you have to believe me! I was the only one w-writing the letter. It wa-wasn´t meant as a joke, I… actually meant all of it.”

You weren´t able to stand his gaze, looking down at your feet. The warm and damp air of the greenhouse left you sweating slightly and you felt a thin coat of moisture on your face. You were almost sure that you were blushing like crazy and your hair was out of place from running to the greenhouse.

As soon as the last word left your mouth, Professor Snape was in front of you again, towering above you. He slowly leaned down, his gaze almost being like the one of a basilisk as he stared at you, ready to kill you with his eyes.

“And what makes you think I would believe the words of a silly student?”

His words made you tremble and as if you were in a daze, you looked up to see his face right in front of you. His skin also had a thin coat of moisture on it, and his lips were slightly parted, ready to let another series of threats rain down on you. But before you could think, you leaned forwards and connected your lips with his in a soft and innocent kiss. His lips were rough and he didn't move an inch, keeping his eyes on you with a look on his face that did not reveal a single thought. You were sure he could taste your tears on his lips. After a few seconds you pulled back. You could hear your pulse pounding in your ears, your body feeling light as a feather and a warm feeling spread in your body. Slowly, you retreated from him. Snape still hadn't moved a muscle, watching you silently as you turned around and went back to the castle to return to your dormitory.

You had just kissed a teacher. You were in so much trouble. But the feeling in your stomach kept you warm and you couldn´t help but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments appreciated! <3


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beasts have entered hogwarts but Snape is coming to save you. Sweet little scene at the end of the chapter.  
> words: almost 3000

Severus remained standing for a few more seconds, watching his student leave the greenhouse and rush back to the castle. His lips felt moist and he tasted salt as he swallowed. Probably because of the girls tears. Slowly he moved his long and slender fingers to his lips, his eyes narrowing slightly. When was the last time he…? No, he couldn´t think about that now.

A student had kissed him. He couldn´t report that to Dumbledore to get her expelled, it sounded ridiculous.

The professor fell out of his stupor, straightening up and leaving the greenhouse as well to go to his bedchambers. The black haired man was in deep thoughts as he walked, but as always, his face didn´t reveal any of the things that went on inside his head.

Every student or teacher that passed by in the hallways made sure to keep a good distance between themselves and the scary professor. But the black eyed man didn´t mind at all.

He was pleased as he finally entered his chambers that shielded him from annoying people. He straightly headed for the desk where a stack of books sat next to a bunch of quills and lots of parchment. Still in thoughts, the professor decided to write something down. But the odds were not in his favour today, because as he set down his quill to write, the sleeve of his cloak knocked over the inkpot.

With an annoyed sigh, Severus leaned down to look what a mess the ink had made. Some of it stained the desk and the rear wall. The professor pulled his desk onwards, being surprised as he found a book there, between spider webs and dust. With a flick of his wand the ink flew back into the pot, cleaning up the mess in the process. Another flick of his wand and the book flew into his hands as if controlled by marionette strings.

Severus turned it around to see that it was a photo book. Surprised that he even possessed such a thing he opened it. Inside were a few class photos of when he had been in Hogwarts as a student and a few photos of Lilly. Letting out a soft sigh, he closed the book again. No, the grown man was no longer a small scared silly little boy. He was a mighty wizard. Severus felt a sudden anger rise inside of him and he threw the book back behind his desk, standing up and going to bed.

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

  
As you were lying in bed you were unable to fall asleep. Even though you were happy about the kiss, you felt sad about the fact that he still was your teacher. That fact couldn´t be changed. Just like the fact that you were in love with a man that never showed his emotions and was despised by most people.  
Lying there, you felt so useless, not able to change a single thing about this situation. The tears came streaming down your cheeks soon enough and you pressed your face into the pillow to muffle your sobs.

 

× Ɔ ɷ C ×

 

The next day, both of you were happy not to have a potions lesson together. Sitting in the great hall, neither of you looked in each other’s direction. You didn´t even face the teacher´s table and Snape did his best to keep his eyes at the Slytherins, what wasn´t hard after all.

Since you weren´t hungry you only poked around in your food with your fork. You hadn´t been able to sleep at all last night. The aftermath were slightly bloodshot eyes and dark circles underneath them. Your friends kept asking if something was up, but you only replied cagily. So today you had decided not to spend much time with any of them, rather sitting with the small first years. That wasn't weird since you were a prefect and they would often come to you for help. You liked the young Gryffindors, they were mostly nice and cute and respectful.

While you were eating, a professor entered the great hall, almost running up to the teacher´s table. It turned a few heads, but you didn´t care, being busy with torturing your fried egg. There was a small tumult among the students, most of them wondering if something was wrong. It was indeed, because the professor went straightly up to Dumbledore and after only having exchanged a few hushed words, the headmaster stood up from his chair to walk in front of the teachers table.

Immediately the whole great hall fell silent. There was a scolding seriousness in his deep voice of a bass, letting everyone know that whatever he said was not to be questioned or ignored. “All students are immediately to return to their quarters and stay there. No student is allowed to leave their dorms until the head of their house says so. You will be accompanied to your dorms by your prefects. The Professors come with me. Now leave immediately.”

You could feel panic rise among the students. The sound of footsteps and hastily shoved benchs and plates resounded in the large hall as everyone hurried to get up and rush out. You moved your head to glance at the first years around you, only to see that they were already looking at you expectantly. The other prefects of Gryffindor were responsible for the other years while you dealt with the youngest ones.

“Alright.” You said to them, counting the small heads silently. “Let´s go.” They followed behind as you made your way over to the entrance of the great hall. But as you did, you couldn´t help but turn your head and look out for a certain Professor. You were surprised to spot him only a few feet away. He looked just a few steps past your direction. At the sight of his face which you had tried to avoid the whole morning, you felt a familiar warm feeling bubble up in your stomach. Once more you were reminded of how enchanting he was. His beautiful dark eyes, his hair, his voice. And now, you could count yourself lucky because you of all people knew the feeling of his lips.

Suddenly you realized just how much you yearned to feel it again, his lips against yours. It had been so wonderful and you felt almost dizzy remembering it.

As you were daydreaming, suddenly Snape came to look at you, making you rouse from your slumber. Right, you had to accompany the first years to your dormitory. Feeling a blush cover your cheeks you turned around, softly shooing the little ones out of the great hall. You were glad as you finally arrived in the Gryffindor common room. It was full of students since all of the Gryffindors were here at the same time. You counted out your first years, hoping that everyone was here. Of course, they were not.

“Dina´s not here. Has anyone seen Dina?” You asked out loud, but almost no one heard you since the noise of the other students outweighed your voice. You made your way over to another prefect, asking him if he had seen the missing student, but he hadn´t seen her either.

“Okay, I´m gonna go look for her or tell a teacher that she is missing. You make sure that everybody else stays here, alright?” And with these words you went out of the Gryffindor dorms to look for the missing student.

 

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

  
  
Severus had expected anything – but werewolves inside Hogwarts? According to his fellow colleague, a bunch of them had gotten inside the castle while the whole school was assembled in the great hall. Fortunately, they had gotten in at that time, because now the rest of the castle was empty and there wasn´t a high chance of one of them encountering a student.

Dumbledore had assigned him to track them down. The potions master should look for the werewolves in the lower right wing of the castle while the other professors looked for them in the rest of Hogwarts.

Right now he sneaked through the hallways, being prepared to encounter one or more werewolves. One of them wasn´t that hard to handle, but if they came in a pack then they were to be considered serious danger. Also they basically belonged into the forbidden Forest and to the gamekeeper. Dumbledore had told Severus not to harm them, only if it was the last possible thing to do.

With a soft sigh, Severus sneaked further along the corridors. It wasn´t to his liking that he had to play the hunter today, but at least it gave him variety.  


× Ɔ ɷ C ×

  
You were running along the hallways, searching for Dina or a professor. You couldn´t just sit in the common room and wait, you were responsible for the first years and now one of them was missing. It was your fault, you should have paid more attention in the first place. But you had been too busy with staring at Professor Snape… Only the thought of it brought a warm feeling to your body and you sighed softly.

Threatening to end up in a daydream again, you suddenly heard a noise. It sounded like crying. Was it a sob? It came from around the corner. Sneaking closer, you tried not to make a sound in case it wasn´t a student but the monster that was the reason for this nonsense. Wand in your hand, you then rushed around the corner, pointing it at the thing that sat on the ground. To your relief, it was actually the missing student.

“Dina!” You said, internally groaning in relief. But the girl was still crying. “Dina, what´s up? You have to go to your dorm, okay?”  
“I don´t want to!” Dina cried out. “Sam made fun of me earlier and now I don´t want to be anywhere near him!”

You internally sighed again as you heard that, trying to explain to Dina why that didn´t matter right now. Suddenly though there was a loud growl behind you. Both of you jumped and froze. There in the corridor stood a large grumpy-looking creature with sharp fangs and claws.

“A….a werewolf!” Dina cried out. Behind the creature was another one of its kind and their eyes were fixed on you. Snapping out of your stupor, you grabbed Dina´s sleeve and started running for your life. The Werewolves started chasing you, growling and showing off their sharp teeth.

In shock, you tried to remember a helpful spell while you ran. But none came to your mind in situations where you needed it of course. Both of you ran as fast as you could, hearing that the wolves were almost right behind you.

That was when you remembered a spell. ´Right, because I´m a witch´, you reminded yourself. You turned around while running to cast a stupor spell onto the wolves, still running forwards. However, as you turned, you ran into an equestrian equipment that was placed there for decor. You fell down onto your hands and hissed as they ground against the rough stone. But in the action, you lost hold of your wand. The parts of the armor smashed against the wolves, making them cry out and howl. For now you had gotten rid of them, but they would catch up soon. You used the time to get up again and run, spotting a large wall curtain on one side of the corridor. Right. There was a secret passage.

“Dina, come over here!”

You pushed the curtain to the side and there it was. But it was very small. Dina could fit into it if she crawled, but you…

“Get into here and crawl to the other end, do you hear me?” You almost pushed her into it and she started crawling in there, leaving you helpless.

“Help!” You screamed, hoping that anyone would hear. And of course there came your Batman to the rescue. It was your Professor Snape and he wasn´t pleased to see you.

“Miss (…)! What in the world are you doing here right now? You should be in your dormitory!” His voice was a sharp hiss and he seemed to be very angry.

You didn´t even get to explain yourself because you heard a loud growl. Snape´s head snapped into the direction of the growl and there you saw the werewolves, slowly approaching you. There were three of them now and they seemed very scary.

“Behind me, quick!” Your professor said, stepping in front of you and pointing his wand at the werewolves, his other arm shielding you. This gesture of him really touched you and you almost wanted to hug him from behind.

“Professor, I was searching for a missing student and I found her and-“ “Quiet! We´ll talk about that later.” Right, you didn´t want to make the werewolves focus too much on you. Suddenly you heard another growl from behind you. Another werewolf stood there, having just walked around the corner. You were trapped.

“P-professor!” You cried out and your black haired teacher turned his head to see the other werewolf. He scowled, for a second thinking about what to do but then grabbing a fist full of your jacket, pulling you flat against his chest.

It felt like a dream. Snapes hand pressed you against his chest in an attempt to protect you from the werewolves from every direction. You couldn´t help but to take in the pleasant smell of his cloak as your head rested against his chest. A bunch of butterflies flew around in your stomach as you were leaning against him, feeling his arm hold you against his stronger form.

One of the werewolves was growling and you really were scared. You felt useless without your wand and you knew how dangerous these creatures were. Not even realizing it, you wrapped your arms around the dark haired man, softly burying your face against his chest.

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

  
Severus was quite surprised about your reaction. He would do anything to defend his student but...now you were hugging him. It kind of felt good, unfamiliar but good, but… he knew it was inappropriate. However, it didn´t matter in this situation. He had to focus on the danger. If he was to attack only one of the werewolves, they all would start attacking. For now, they hadn´t attacked yet, but they seemed to be very interested in the both of you. The man in black now had to decide whether he would risk getting trying to flee, what would cost him a lot of strength, or if he would risk to fight them and possibly get attacked. The choices couldn´t be better, but Severus knew what he had to do.

He pressed you tighter against his chest, closing his eyes and apparated. Theoretically it was impossible to apparate in Hogwarts. Dumbledore could do it and after years, Snape had also learned it. But for him it wasn´t as easy as it was for Dumbledore. It cost him a lot of strength and he couldn´t apparate to a place far away.

When the potions master opened his eyes again, he stood outside of Hogwarts somewhere near Hagrids hut. He let his wand sink to his side, feeling the aftermath instantly. His body felt sore, but like always, he didn´t let anyone take note of that. He then remembered his student, looking down on her. She was still hugging him and he let his arm sink that had been pressing her to his chest in fear of her getting hurt.

She now seemed to realize that they had apparated and looked very surprised and, to Severus liking, impressed. Did she realize that she was still hugging him?

“Enjoying yourself?” He said in his usual mocking manner, his face staying emotionless though.

His student immediately blushed and lowered her head, being awkward as she let go of him. They still were so close. Severus could even make out the pleasant smell of her hair. It didn´t smell of chemicals, it just smelled clean. He liked that.

The potions master noticed that something wasn´t right. His student kind of seemed to avoid looking into his eyes. With the hand that had been around her back seconds ago, he softly tilted up her chin to make her look up at him.

“You´ve been crying.” He stated simply. The professor could tell because of her dark circles and the redness in her eyes. She looked like she hadn’t gotten any sleep at all. Maybe he could try and figure out why. Being a mighty wizard, Severus was very skilled at Legilimency.  
Seconds later, he knew she was thinking of their kiss. Severus looked into her eyes, silently judging like he always did. His student looked back at him. Cold black eyes meeting scared, widened ones. Well, most of his students were scared of him but she started…. Blushing. None of his students did that. It really was a mystery to the usually smart professor.

“I-I´m sorry, professor….” He could hear her soft voice breaking under his gaze.

“You´re sorry?” He asked her, raising his eyebrows a little. Oh right. Because of the kiss. Their kiss…. His thumb slowly brushed over her lips. They looked slightly chapped. She probably had been biting them.

Not only did nobody love him, when someone finally did, they started hurting themselves. The black eyed man let his hand sink from her face, turning around.

“It would be better if you went back to your dormitory, Miss (…).” Severus said, his voice sounding cold and bitter.  
The professor accompanied her back. Well, he rather walked ahead of her, taking large steps that made it almost impossible for his student to keep up with him. He was glad as they finally got to the entrance of the Gryffindor common room.

Severus hadn´t glanced at her the whole time, now turning on his heel and walking away.

“Thank you, Professor.”

Her voice stopped him in his track and he stood there for a second, then simply leaving.

Life wasn´t fair at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kinda long O_O In the next one there´s going to be a little romance~ ;)  
> Please leave a comment <3


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get asked to come to a party with someone. Look forward to what the night will bring to you~  
> words: 3,7 k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took really long to write and it was kinda hard but I´m glad that I finished it:)  
> Also I want to thank everyone who left a comment <3 <3 <3 I appreciate every single one of them and they make me really happy! :)  
> Also I changed the name of the story, because I thought "love letters" Isn´t a great title. Tell me if you like it! :)

The next day you had a potions lesson. Your hands shook and your throat felt dry as you entered the potions room, taking your regular seat as you waited for Professor Snape to enter the classroom. He usually came in after all of his students had entered and you were sure that he did it on purpose to have his performance.

The last night hadn´t been as restless as the one before. You had laid awake, recalling the moment when you had been hugging him and he had pressed you against his chest over and over again. Still now it brought a blush to your cheeks when you thought about it. But facing him in a classroom was an entirely different situation. Still though you were happy to see him again. To your surprise, the professor that came into the classroom wasn´t Snape.

“Good mornings, I´m Professor Slughorn. I´ll take over your potions lessons from now on. I hope we will get together very well.”  
It felt like a lightning bolt had struck you. While the other students around you started cheering, you felt restless and shattered about the news. Had Snape asked to take on another subject so he shouldn´t have to see you anymore? Had he talked to Dumbledore to get you expelled from Hogwarts? Or maybe he had stopped teaching at Hogwarts because of you? Maybe yesterday had been the last time you saw him. Maybe Dumbledore knew of the letter and of the kiss and… oh god.

The lesson went by without you being able to concentrate on a single word that Slughorn said. All you could think of was “why”? You could understand that the other students were happy about the sudden change. No one really liked Snape. Not even his own house really liked him. You couldn´t help but feel bad…. He had deserved better. He deserved to be loved.

You couldn´t help but notice that especially Mr Harry Potter seemed very happy about the turn of events. As everybody knew, Snape had always been eminently mean to him.

Fortunately, the potions lesson went over quickly. The next lesson was defence against the Dark arts, short DADA. Still in thoughts, you absentmindedly went to one of the square tables in the class room. Not caring about your surroundings as you sat down, you then noticed that you were alone. That was when you saw some other students hurriedly sitting down at the same table as you.

“Excuse me, can we sit here with you?” Asked a female voice. It belonged to Hermione Granger.

“Of course.” You said, not really paying attention since you were busy with sulking in sadness.

Hermione, Ron and sat down at the table with you. Another student, Alex Min, sat right next to you. Still thinking about why Snape hadn´t been there, you felt tears well up in your eyes. What if you never saw your professor again?

Well, this thought of yours immediately crushed as the door opened and the man of your dreams – well, thoughts – entered the classroom. A death silence settled in the room and everyone seemed to groan inwardly out of horror. Everyone but you. Holding back your tears, you felt like almost crying because you were so happy.  
He hadn´t left school, he hadn´t left you.

Your cheerfulness was disturbed as a voice broke the silence.

“Excuse me, Sir, but where is Professor Lupin?” Harry asked, not being quite as happy as you.

“That´s none of your business, Potter. Professor Lupin is not in a condition to be teaching at Hogwarts anymore, so I will take over his subject.” Further silence. “Now open your books at page 394.”

You could barely control your happiness, concealing your smile behind the sleeve of your robe as you sighed inwardly in relief. Everything was fine. You almost forgot to take out your book because you couldn´t stop staring at your professor. Seeing him again, you realized how much you had been missing him.

“Why the hell is he here?” Harry whispered angrily to Ron. “I want Lupin back!”

“Me too” Alex agreed silently.

You disagreed with them, but didn´t say anything. They continued to rant about Snape in the lesson. Alex even started drawing a really nasty cartoon of him. Ron quickly snatched the paper from him, bending over in an attempt to hold in his laughter as he looked at the drawing. Then he scribbled down some words next to it, having an evil grin on his face. As Harry saw this he had to bite his tongue not to laugh out loud, he too scribbling something down. It continued like that throughout the lesson when Snape wasn´t looking. You didn´t see what they had written but you knew it was most likely about their professor.

Although you didn´t like how they were obviously making fun of your favourite professor, you didn´t meddle. You didn´t hate them for it. Usually they were really nice and helpful students, but what they just did was really dangerous if Snape was to find out…  
It was hard concentrating on the words Snape said because, like in his potions lessons, you were busy with staring at him, listening to the sound of his voice and blushing whenever he accidently looked at you.

Unfortunately, the lesson went over really quickly. And you, reluctantly, started packing your things so you could go to your dorm. Ron had been quicker than you and stood up from the table, wanting to leave as Snape suddenly appeared in front of him.

“The students at this table stay here for a moment.”

You waited until the other students had left and only the five of you and Snape were still in the classroom.  
Snape looked at each one of you, one after another, right into your eyes. You blushed and looked down as he looked at you, hoping you hadn´t done something wrong.

“Mr Min, this is a very interesting paper you have there.”

Silence. You could tell the other students were just as scared as you were.

“Why don´t you read it out to me?”

Alex went pale as a ghost, having the paper in his hand and staring onto it. His hands trembled and you stood right next to him, taking a look at the paper.

“I said read it out to me, Mr Min.”

Snape voice was as sharp as a razor blade and Alex flinched slightly. That was when you were able to read the words that someone had scribbled onto the thing. Nasty, nasty words. About Snapes appearance, his teaching methods and…. Some other things that would have made you blush if you weren´t so furious.

You ripped the paper out of Alex´s hands, much to the surprise of all the other people in the room. You looked at the paper, getting angrier with every word you read. How could they insult him like this? It was so mean and you felt so bad for Snape. If Alex would read it out, Snape would definitely get very upset about it even if he didn´t show it.  
Looking up from the paper, you looked at Alex, anger and shock clearly written all over your face. He had written most of it. He had started it.

Without realizing what you did, you slapped him in the face. No one had the right to insult the man of your dreams in front of you or himself. Still boiling in anger, you stormed out of the class room in complete silence. Everyone else was so shocked about what you did, not able to believe their eyes. Not even Snape said anything. You could catch a glimpse of his face. You were surprised that he looked a little shocked, since his face usually never displayed emotions.

As you were almost running down the hallways, you could feel new tears welling up in your eyes.

“Incendio!”

You had crumpled the paper into a ball and set it on fire. Wiping your tears away, you returned to the Gryffindor common room where you let yourself fall into one of the big comfortable armchairs.

You sat there for a few minutes when you heard that other people entered the common room. Your name was being called out and you turned your head to find Harry, Ron, Hermine and Alex stand behind your chair. Standing up you faced them, biting your lip softly.

“Alex, I´m sorry because of what I did…”

“Oh, don´t mind about that, (..) !” Alex said, almost laughing in relief. “You saved me from getting my head ripped off by Snape! If you hadn´t slapped me I would have had to read out the paper to him.”

You were a little surprised to hear that.

“And then Snape would have killed all of us!” said Ron, fortunately agreeing with Alex.

Harry seemed also relieved. “After you went out of the class room Snape at first didn´t say a word and then he simply told us to leave. You saved our lifes!”

So they weren´t angry at you. Sighing softly in relief, you smiled at them and told them you were happy that there hadn´t been a further incident with their professor.

They left, but Harry stayed with you.

“(…), Professor Slughorn invited me to his slug club and I have to bring a partner. I wondered if…. You could go with me.”

For a moment you thought about what Harry had said. But it sounded like a good idea. After all of the stress today you needed some fun.

“Sure, Harry.” You said and smiled.

“Great. I´ll pick you up here tomorrow at 8 pm.”

 

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

 

Severus had left the DADA classroom and went back into his chambers. He had to think of the strange incident that had happened today. His student had slapped another student in front of his eyes. The same student that had told him that she had feelings for him and had kissed him.

Also she had looked so shocked at the paper today, maybe she hadn´t been involved in this after all. Originally, he had wanted to remove 50 points from their house for each of them, but he thought the slap had done the job. Apart from that, the situation had simply ran out of hand. Severus had never thought that she was capable of this. Only yesterday he had saved her from a pack of werewolves and today she had saved him from humiliation in front of his own students.

As the black haired man came to think of it, maybe it hadn´t been that much of a good idea to ask Mr Min to read out the paper after all. Maybe the professor should have just read it for himself and then punish them. But he had already expected that the boy didn´t have the guts to say the nasty things in his face.

It felt strange for the dark eyed man to “get saved” by someone. He told himself that he didn´t need any help at all. Severus sighed. He should stop thinking about his student. As long as he was her teacher it wasn´t legit to do so. But she already was in her sixth year so theoretically there was not much time left before she was out of school. Wait. Why did he think of this at all? Just because she was the first person in a while to think of him in an amorous way, he shouldn´t have to imagine a future with her. He wasn´t that desperate. He just wasn´t used to this kind of attention.

 

× Ɔ ɷ C ×

 

The next day was a Saturday. You slept in till noon, then spending your time doing some homework and learning for a potions test next week. As much as you loved Hogwarts, with every week that started you immediately wished for the weekend.

The day went by really quickly and as you noticed that it was getting late, you started picking out an outfit for the Slug Club tonight. With wise prevision you had brought a few elegant dresses to Hogwarts along with your student uniform and normal clothes.

For tonight you chose a champagne-coloured tight-fitted dress. The neckline revealed a little bit of your cleavage but wasn´t too low and the dress ended above your ankles. Your hair was fixed in an elegant messy bun and you wore long simple earrings and a fine bracelet.  
When you were finished you went into the Gryffindor common room. Harry had been waiting in an armchair, standing up as he saw you.

“Wow… you look stunning.”

“Thank you.” You were happy that he liked your look, it made you feel better about the fact that you were going to eat dinner with a lot of unknown people in a few minutes. But the prospect of free food was always temtping. Hermione was also coming with you, her partner for tonight was awaiting her in the hallways in front of the Gryffindor dorm.

All of you arrived at your destination in the dungeons. As you stepped through the door, you examined the room with the low ceilings. Only the middle of the room was lit up with candles and there stood a large round table. Since you had arrived a little late, most of the seats were already taken. You quickly glanced over at the people that were already there, spotting Professor Slughorn and a few students and… oh god. Your heart missed a beat when you saw who else was there, sitting next to Professor Slughorn, having all of the only empty seats next to him.  
You could feel black eyes on you as you awkwardly made your way up to the table. Should you try and sit next to him? Someone else took that decision from you when Hermione and her partner quickly sat down as faw away from Snape as they could, leaving only two empty seats that were for you and Harry. Speaking of him, he shot you an awkward smile and moved one of the seats a little backwards for you so you could sit down. Of course it was the seat next to Professor Snape. You cursed at your partner for tonight internally.

You smiled at Harry, taking your seat and trying to keep your smile as you glanced at the other people that were now on eye level with you.

“Ah, Mr Potter and Miss Granger. Nice to see you. I see you brought your partners with you.” Professor Slughorn was in a good mood. He then introduced the other students to you. “And because I took over his subject, I also Invited Professor Snape.”

As soon as everyone started to eat, people were getting engaged in conversations and it luckily wasn´t silent anymore.

“Good evening, Professor Snape. It´s nice to see you”

“Good evening, Miss (…)”

You shot your favourite professor a small smile, then quickly turned away again to conceal your blush.

You desperately tried keeping your eyes off your Professor. It wasn´t like you could stare at him like you did in the lessons, you were eating dinner with a bunch of people and everyone would notice! With a sigh you wanted to start eating the delicious looking food on your plate, but you knocked over your fork when you did and it fell to the ground. Letting out a soft curse, you leaned over your chair to fish the fork off the ground. It was then that you noticed that it had fallen to the side of Professor Snape. ….oops.

 

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

 

Severus couldn´t help but to be a little amused as you let your fork fall to the ground. Such a clumsy little girl, he thought. Though then you leaned down to pick up the fork and… well, gave him a sight. The potions master could feel the slightest pink blush paint his pale cheeks and as you leaned back again in your chair he quickly looked away from you, the blush fading just as quickly.

Since the moment you had walked in he had barely been able to keep his eyes off you. It was strange for the potion´s professor not to see you in your school uniform.  
But something really annoyed him… it was Potter. No… it was the fact that Potter had taken you with him. The way he tried to be a gentleman and the way he looked at you.

Also the ice cream tasted kind of… strange. Could it be alcohol? Well, Slughorn had always had a penchant for the expensive and luxury.  
Just as Severus thought about it, he overheard a conversation between Harry and his student.

“So… since Hermione and her partner are having a date…. Are we also having a date?”

Severus unknowingly gripped his cutlery tighter than necessary while he ate.

“Oh, er, Harry…”

She sounded shy and hesitant. Why couldn´t the boy just leave her alone? But he didn´t. In fact, it looked like he was about to kiss her, moving his face closer to hers. She seemed really uncomfortable about it, shifting in her seat. Snape instinctively grabbed his wand, ready to do something when his student took her glass of wine, letting it spill over her dress.

“Oh no! Harry… I´m so sorry…”

“No, no, it´s not your fault…(…) Wait, I´ll get you something to clean it. I wished I knew a spell for cases like this, but… well. I´ll get you a towel or something.”

Just as Severus´ anger rose inside of him, there was a loud noise at the other side of the table. All eyes were on a male student who had knocked over a bunch of glasses and plates and was sitting hunched over on his chair, his hands pressed in front of his mouth.

“Oh, Mr Jones, are you not feeling well?” Slughorn said, looking upset and a little anxious. His student answered by quickly standing up and running out of the room, a lot of students following after him in concern. Three students stood up as well. It seemed like one of them wasn´t really sober anymore and couldn´t walk on his own, so the other two accompanied him out of the room. The leftover student took advantage of the situation and turned to Slughorn.

“Ah yes, Mr Chang, about the scholarship. Well… I can tell you a few things about the academies. We´ll better talk about that in the archive…” He raised from his seat and the two walked out into another room, leaving only Severus and his student.

With a soft sigh, he let go of his wand. Why had he grabbed it in the first place?

The professor was surprised to find his student look at him, tears in her eyes.

“I see you did not enjoy the company of Mr Potter” Severus low voice seemed to cast a spell on her as a light blush came to her cheeks. But it only made her look prettier. Her eyes were sparkling, her lips looked soft and how her hair fell lightly over her skin…

“I couldn´t do it… “

He heard her soft voice, almost whispering to him. She leaned closer, but Severus did not move back, studying her face from up close.

“Why?” He asked, unknowingly also leaning closer to her.

His student didn´t hesitate with her answer, seeming to know exactly what she did.

“He isn´t like you.”

And with that, the two of you leaned closer to each other, connecting your lips and moving them against each other, affectionate and gentle. You were scared to ask for too much and he was scared to hurt you, breaking you if he was too rough. The kiss started out to be loving but ended up being passionate and heated.

When you both pulled apart from each other, you were gasping for air. A pink blush covered your cheeks and Severus eyes seemed to glow slightly.

It was only a second, he gently twisted a strand of your hair between his fingers and your hand came to rest at the side of his face gently, until you leaned in again.

This kiss was passionate from the start. You felt like you drowned against his lips but at the same time needed him to be able to breathe. Severus´ brow furrowed slightly and he kissed you with a passion he didn´t know he still had.

You pulled back, breathless, staring into the most beautiful pair of eyes.

The professor seemed to hesitate for one moment, then he stood up. He took off his coat and laid it upon your shoulders, not wanting you to freeze in the cold dungeons. Then he indicated you to follow him.

His chambers weren´t far away from Slughorn´s class room and you quickly arrived. He opened the door and without a word, you went in. As soon as he had shut the door you gently grabbed onto his shoulder, pulling him to you and connecting your lips once more.  
For a moment Severus seemed to hesitate, but then he gave in and pulled you closer, laying his hands around your waist as he kissed you back.

It felt wonderful. It didn´t matter that you felt dizzy, because being in his arms was the most wonderful feeling you could imagine. You felt like you were flying, gripping tightly onto his shoulders to help with your balance.

After what felt like an eternity you both pulled back, panting. For a moment, Snape looked like he couldn´t realize what he just did. He had his hands around you and looked down at your face.

The two of you still hadn´t spoken a word since you had started kissing, scared to be reminded of your positions.  
Instead of words, you needed his touch right now. Slowly you leaned your head against his chest and he finally admitted to all of this as he tilted his head down to rest it against the top of yours, nestling his face into your hair and wrapping his arms around you.  
You couldn´t help but smile. It felt so right. It felt so great.  
After a minute you were finally able to speak.

“I want you to know that I want this… all of this.”

You looked up only to see Snape looking at you but you were not able to tell what he thought.  
Not answering, he instead pulled out his wand and pointed it at your dress. The stains of the red wine faded immediately.

“Thank you…” You said to him and smiled, not daring to call him professor.

“It´s Severus.”

Your eyes widened. Had he just…? But you nodded at him, smiling from the bottom of your heart.

“Thank you, Severus.”

He looked deeply into your eyes, reflecting your imagine in those pitch-black orbs. And in this moment you knew that he would allow it to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter there´s going to be a lot more Snape&reader moments, I promise!
> 
> Please leave a comment! <3


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is just around the corner and you buy presents for your loved ones. Your friends know that you have a crush on someone and you spent a really great evening with this particular person.  
> WARNING: SMUT  
> words: 4,2 k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the small break you guys, I had a lot of exams this weeks and I also wrote an Alan Rickman one shot that I´m going to upload hopefully this weekend!  
> Thank you all so much for your lovely comments, every single one makes me really happy <3  
> Also, this is the first chapter of the story which has smut in it.

Severus Snape, the bitter, long term single, falling in love with a woman. Severus Snape, the head of Slytherin, falling in love with a Gryffindor. Severus Snape, the potions professor, falling in love with a student.

No matter how the black haired man put it, it sounded wrong. But why did it feel so right? Maybe because it was December and the winter holidays were about to start. Christmas was just around the corner. Maybe that was the reason why he was able to hold such feelings. It´s the celebration of love, after all.

Love… The last time he had felt this close to happiness had been around Lily. Just the memory of her struck the potions master with great grief and bitterness. The woman he loved – dead and married to his bully, their son famous all over the wizarding world.

Lily and his new love hadn´t much in common, but the raven-haired man was rather thankful for that. He gave his best not to compare them in his mind, not wanting to think of Lily when he spent time with his girl. It was rather painful for the Professor. Sometimes he asked himself if he betrayed Lily and the memory of her with his newfound love. But Lily had never loved him back. The realization of the fact still hurt, but on the other hand, she had died over 10 years ago. Severus had to move on. He would have never thought it to be possible, but he in fact was in love with his student. The black eyed man couldn´t stop thinking about her. She was on his mind the whole day and night, making the mighty wizard constantly think about the sweet scent of her hair, the sight of her beautiful eyes, the feeling of holding her small hands in his own. The poor man had forgotten that being in love could also be a good thing. Not only that, but it also did change him.

The usually grouchy man wasn´t as grumpy as before. The coldness still hadn´t vanished from his features and he was just as intimidating as before, but the students and other teachers noticed that something was different. The dungeon bat was a little better to deal with in class and some of his students swore they had seen him smile. Also Severus had started taking better care of his appearance. All in all he was still a git, but his mood was way better.

A few rumours had started going around about Snape having a girlfriend because nobody could imagine another reason for his change. Some people suspected Professor Burbage or Professor Sinistra, some assumed that he had a boyfriend.

As Severus looked out of the window, he could see Hagrid pulling a sleigh full of small Christmas trees through the snow. Usually, the potions master hated holidays and everything that reminded him of them. Maybe because he had never been able to spend them with the one he loved.

Well, there´s a first time for everything.

× Ɔ ɷ C ×

 

You were strolling around in the Weasley´s Shop together with your friends. Outside a snow storm was trying to freeze everyone to death. You pulled out your hands from your gloves, rubbing them in an attempt to drive out the coldness, as you were looking for some presents for your friends and family.

After some time, you decided to give a pair of pearl earrings to Luna as a present for Christmas. The special thing about them was that small snowflakes rained down from the pearls whenever it snowed outside. The snowflakes actually melted rather quickly but you thought she would like the present. After you had picked out something for your parents (/and siblings/ other family members) you walked to the back section of the shop where you met some fellow students.

“Is that for you mom?”, asked Luna who walked up to you, being curious as always.

You quickly hid Luna´s present in your hands. “Yes, it is.”

She tried to get a glance at the thing you were holding in your hands and you both giggled as you played your little game of hide and seek.

“And did you buy anything for your sweetheart yet?”

The question made you freeze mid-laughing, your mouth a little agape as you stared at Luna in shock.

“My… my what?”

“Oh come on, we know there is someone you like. “ Said Hermione who just turned the corner and now stood next to you. She had been looking for a new quill. “The last few weeks you always had a smile on your face and when we ask you something you are always in thoughts. You weren´t that dreamy before!”

Hermione was right. Instead of answering, you looked down at your shoes, not certain what to tell them. For a second you imagined what it would be like. In a world where Severus wasn´t your potions teacher that would have been wonderful. You would have told them that you indeed had a sweetheart and that he was absolutely perfect for you and that you were head over heels in love. Your friends would have cheered for you and demanded to meet him and you would have introduced him to your parents and…

But sadly, this was only a fantasy world. Severus was your former professor in potions and now in DADA and everyone hated him so either way it would be wrong to tell them…

“Why don´t you tell us who he is?”, asked Luna, her big shiny eyes making you almost feel guilty.

“I´m sorry, I…. am not able to tell you.”

“Why can´t you? It´s not that much of a deal, except if he was in Slytherin…”

You cursed at Hermione’s intuition in your head. Everybody at Hogwarts knew the two houses had a small enmity going on. It was really rare that two students from Gryffindor and Slytherin had a relationship going on. You were just able to blush because it was true what Hermione had said, turning away quickly but they had already seen you blushing.

“He is, then!” Luna said, happy that she had found out something. “Oh that´s kind of dramatic actually!”

Yes, indeed it was. After you had paid for your presents you wanted to visit a small fancy shop in Hogsmeade, Luna and Hermione accompanied you there since you greatly doubted that you would find something for Severus in the Weasley’s Shop. Well, he probably wouldn´t get presents from anyone else so you wanted to make sure that he at least got something from you! After some time, you chose a black scarf, simply because you had never seen him with a scarf and it was winter.

You stuffed the presents into your bag, returning with your friends to Hogwarts. The three of you sighed in relief as you finally entered the warm castle, your faces being pale and your cheeks red, your hands and feet feeling like an ice block because of the cold outside.  
Hermione and Luna were about to go upstairs to the Gryffindor dorm but you said goodbye to them at the stairs.

“Guys, I will join you later….”

“It´s okay. Tell lover boy our regards.” All of you giggled as you parted, and you went down into the dungeons.

Severus and you had agreed on meeting in his chambers every day after dinner, it had already become a routine. As you walked down to the dungeons the coldness came creeping in your limps again. He´d better have some tea for you or you would be very angry at him for putting you in danger of freezing.

You were careful as you passed the potions classrooms, waiting till there was no student in the hallway besides you and then quickly pushing a wall curtain to the side to take a secret passage and then turning to the left until you stood in front of a black wooden door. Your hand shivered as it had to touch the cold metal of the doorknob and you entered the chambers, turning around to close the door silently afterwards.

As soon as you had closed the door, there was a pair of warm hands gripping your shoulders, turning you around and pushing you against the door, a pair of lips crashing down onto yours. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around the neck of your captor and your fingers came to play with the strands of his long black hair as you kissed him back.

After what felt like an eternity, you both pulled apart, breathless and with rosy cheeks.

“You´re late.” Whispered Severus, his lips hovering an inch above your neck.

“I´m sorry, Sev. My friends wanted me to go to Hogsmeade with them and-“

You let out a gasp as you felt your lover kiss along your jawline and you closed your eyes, leaning your head backwards against the door to give him more access.

“It´s cold outside. Be careful next time, I don´t want you to get sick.”

His deep voice sent shivers down your spine and your fingers buried deeper into his hair while you enjoyed the moment with every of your senses.

His way of behaving had changed drastically towards you. Whenever he spoke to you when you both were alone, he no longer hissed at you and his voice did not sound sharp anymore. In fact, it was kind of warm but he still spoke in his usual manner.

Your palm found the side of his face and you made him look at you, the both of you gazing in each other´s eyes. Still now you had to fight a blush from his closeness and you leaned forwards to give him a gentle kiss. The tall man immediately responded to it, softly taking a hold of your hand and embracing you in his arms.

You shared a series of loving and passionate kisses that made you feel dizzy from happiness. As you both pulled back, panting from the lack of air, you nestled your face against your lover´s chest. The black eyed man rested his chin atop of your head while he stroked through your hair with his slender fingers.

“I missed you” You softly breathed out as you looked up at his face.

Your words made him smile. Yes, Severus Snape smiled because of you. The sight of it warmed your heart and you smiled back at him.  
Severus tilted his head down to put a soft kiss onto your forehead, pulling away from you to walk over to the other side of the room. As his closeness left your body you instantly felt cold again, putting your hands into the pockets of your jacket.

“Sev, it´s cold!”

“Don’t complain.” Severus said, but you could see that a small smirk pulled at his lips. He had gone over to a small table with a large pot on top of it.

“What do you want to drink?”

It took you a few seconds to think about it, then telling him your choice as you walked over to the table.  
“(Coffee/Tea/Cocoa)!”

The black haired man tapped at the pot with his wand and your favoured liquid appeared inside of it, steaming hot. Another swish of his wand and an invisible force poured the liquid into a glass and you caught it from the air, happily drinking up. You sighed after the liquid had warmed your body, putting the glass back onto the table.

Severus had gone into another room and you took the opportunity to get rid of your jacket, putting it onto the grey couch.

“Sev, I´m still cold!” You said out loud, rubbing your arms in an attempt of warming yourself up. How could he live here without freezing every night? After a while his answer came from the other room.

“If you go upstairs into the bedroom you can take one of my coats to warm yourself. “

You snickered at his way of speaking. Apparently, he didn´t like raising his voice but he spoke very clearly so he was still hearable.  
You made your way up a small spiral staircase into his bedroom. The room was familiar, you had been here with him a few times but didn´t use the bed yet. On the right side of the room was a closet and you pulled open the upper drawer, only to find some boxer shorts there. Oops. Seeing him in one of them would be really nice… if that would be the only thing he´d wear.

You closed the drawer and moved on to the next. There were a few dark coats in there and you picked one that looked like his regular coats but had the length of a cardigan. Because you were curious, you couldn´t help but to look into the other drawers too. His clothes were mostly black and you were happy that you bought a black scarf so he could match his outfit. Well… you loved black but seeing him in something else would be nice too. Maybe even in some muggle clothing, like a simple shirt. A giggle escaped you at the thought of Severus in a casual shirt paired with shorts. That was when you felt him approaching you from behind and gripping your waist, pulling you flush against him.

“Are we enjoying rummaging in my personal things, (…)?”

You heard his low grumbling voice right next to your ear and it sent small waves of shivers down your spine. As he spoke, his warm breathe hit your ear and neck and gave you goose bumps, his closeness making you unable to think properly.

“Unfortunately, I won´t be able to abide this behaviour of yours…”

It was like you weren´t able to move, anticipating his actions.

You could feel his hand leaving your hip and lifting your hair from your neck and the next thing you felt were his cool lips on your skin, leaving a tingling sensation. It made you gasp softly, your breath coming shallow out of your throat.  
As he pulled back you noticed that you had been standing there frozen all the time.

“Don´t you have anything to say?”

Severus´ voice was back to sounding threatening and dangerous, but you knew it was part of your little game and he´d never hurt you.  
“I-I´m sorry, Sev…” Your voice sounded dry and it was hard for you to speak, your body almost shivering with anticipation as you turned around and looked into his eyes. It surprised you a little to see that they were clouded with lust. You had shared a lot of kisses before but you hadn´t slept with each other yet. Still though, as you looked into his eyes, there was a deep wish for more than just kisses or touches. He was asking for your soul.

“Sev…”

Without breaking the eye contact, your lover lifted his hand up to stroke a strand of hair behind your ear, then leaning down and pressing his lips against yours. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you moved your lips against his, drowning in the sweet feeling. Kissing him had become more than familiar, this time though there was something different.

Severus wrapped his arms around your hips and then you felt his tongue rubbing at your lips, asking for entrance. Without thinking you opened your lips just enough so he could slide his tongue into your mouth and move it against your own. The kiss was filled with so much passion and you couldn´t get enough, your tongues dancing with each other as you let out a small moan.  
Your professor suddenly lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his hips as he carried you over to his bed, gently laying you down on it and climbing on top of you while you continued the French kiss.

After some minutes you both pulled back, panting and gasping for air. In this moment, you noticed just how beautiful Severus looked. With his hair framing his face, his eyes glowing and his wet lips slightly parted. His cheeks even had the slightest pink tint on them and it looked both adorable and hot.

Without thinking, you rolled over just to find yourself on top of him. There was the smallest look of shock on his face and it make you smirk and take advantage of the moment as you unbuttoned his coat completely. He had another white long shirt underneath it and you almost ripped it open, revealing his snow white skin.

The view of it made you hungry and you leaned down to his neck, almost leaping at the skin with your mouth as you put heated kisses onto him. You could feel the tall man shift slightly underneath your body weight, his hands slowly stroking up your thighs as he let out a small grunt.

Kissing his skin was not enough though and you had waited so long for this so you started biting and sucking along the skin of his neck, along his jawline and down to his collarbone.

A few more grunts and small moans escaped the throat of your lover and he let his hands wander upwards your thighs, almost shyly resting them on your butt. The new sensation felt good and you smiled, searching for his soft spot.

Eventually he hoarsely moaned out your name and you knew you had found it, sucking on that very spot till his skin had a nice soft purple mark there.

You gazed up at him to see that he´d closed his eyes, his breath coming out in shallow puffs from his throat.

“Do you… like it?”

You asked shyly, blushing softly as he opened his eyes just halfway to look at you, relaxation and pleasure written all over his face.  
“I do. I haven´t felt that good in a long while, (…)”

As you heard his words, you came to wonder about when the last time was that he´d had someone touching him. But you didn´t want to ask, not wanting to hurt his pride. He must´ve seen the questioning look on your face though, because he answered your question.

“Of course I´ve had Sex before, I´m not a nun.”

“Then why do you dress like one?”

Severus cocked an eyebrow but chuckled slightly, and at the moment, you were really turned on from how good you could make him feel, a warm feeling spreading between your legs.

As Severus saw the pleasure in your eyes he seemed relieved, his hands starting to massage your butt gently what made you purr in satisfaction. The feeling between your legs hadn't stopped though and, sitting upon his hips, you could feel that he had a similar problem. Slowly you started to rock your hips against his, making Severus gasp in surprise. A slight frown appeared on his face and he gripped your bottom tighter, making you grind harder into him.

The friction made you mewl softly in pleasure and you let your hands roam his chest. The black haired man looked really hot like this, his hair a little dishevelled, a look of pleasure on his face, his shirt unbuttoned.

Speaking of it, the shirt did bother you and you tugged a little at it, making the owner of the fabric chuckle lightly. Sitting up, he removed his tops with a quick motion, his hands afterwards coming to rest at your shirt. The black eyed man pulled it off you, leaving you in your skirt and underwear. Both of you kicked your shoes off and then he leaned forwards, placing softly kisses above the outline of your bra.  
With a swift motion he had unhooked your bra and taken it off you. Being naked except for your bottom parts was a new experience for you. You did not feel shy though because Sev just made you feel so safe with him.

Leaning forwards, the potions master placed gently kisses onto your bare breasts. He began sucking at your nipple while he massaged your other breast with his hand, making you moan out his name gently and grip into his hair. When he was done, he repeated his actions on your other side. It left you feel relaxed and a little brave, even because you ground into him again.

Severus was really annoyed because of both of your bottom parts, so his hands wandered under your skirt, lifting it up a little so his hands could reach the region between your legs. At first you didn't know what was going on but you let out a surprised whimper as you suddenly felt long, slender fingers rubbing you.

“Sev, take your pants off” You managed to say and he did, taking your skirt off too so that the two of you were only in your pants and panties.

Instead of his fingers, he ground into you now after having rolled you over again and being on top.  
By now you were completely wet, aching for him to satisfy your need for pleasure.

“Sev, please” You moaned out, eager to finally go all the way with him. The black haired man must´ve felt the same way, because he quickly ripped off both of your underwear and ground against you a few times till he entered you.

It made the both of you gasp and you had to adjust at first to him but then he started moving. It warmed your heart that he tried his best at being gentle with you, his thrusts starting out to be shallow at first but when he noticed that you wanted and needed more, he went harder on you.

It seemed like he´d have to ease a lot of sexual frustration but that did not affect the sex in its quality and by the end of it he had you screaming out his name in pleasure.

You both laid in the bed, collapsed and panting, embracing each other. After a quick shower you returned under the warm and silky sheets, exhausted but pleased.

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

 

You spent almost every evening like this, rolling together in the sheets or enjoying your time together otherwise. Sometimes, when you were tired out from classes and homework, Severus would read out a book to you while both of you cuddled in one of his big armchairs. And when he was sleepy from work you let him nap while his head was resting in your lap and you were stroking his hair. You loved spending time with him, it was simply relaxing and once he embraced you in his arms you never wanted to leave again.

It was hard to act like nothing was going on between you two whenever you had a DADA class together. Severus had to remember to treat you like every other Gryffindor in class and although at times it could really be difficult, he managed to it since he was a master at occlumency and hiding his feelings. You weren´t that great at it though, so you did really hard whenever you heard some students insulting the Professor when he was absent.

Soon it was the 23rd of December and the winter break started tomorrow. You awoke with a smile on your face, tiptoeing out of bed while everyone still slept and rushed down into Snape's chambers. When you knocked at the door, you were surprised at the sight you got.  
A sleepy, rather grumpy looking Severus had opened the door, dressed in a simple black nightgown and pants. You had to chuckle at his choice of clothing. Since Severus despised the muggle culture he did not want to wear any of their clothes, that´s why he chose those rather… ancient looking things to wear. But it looked kind of cute and fit him.

As he saw you, his features immediately lit up just a little and he let you enter, closing the door behind you. The two of you shared a hug and Sev buried his face in your hair, breathing in the soft scent of your shampoo.

Tomorrow was Christmas and that meant that you would take the train back to your parents while Severus stayed at Hogwarts or returned to his own house for the holidays. You wouldn't be able to see each other for two weeks. To imagine that felt rather strange since you had seen each other every day for a few weeks.

After what felt like a really long time, the black haired man pulled back, softly lifting up your chin. You looked into his eyes and understood what he thought.

“I will miss you” You said and he simply looked at you, stroking a strand of hair out of your face. He did not say anything, but you knew he felt the same. After a minute he started to speak though.

“There is a possibility of you” He made a small break, looking deeply into your eyes to make sure you understood his next words. “Spending the winter break with me.”

Your eyes widened and immediately you hugged him, burying your face against his chest.

“That would be great.”

And with that you felt Severus´ arms around you, holding you close to his body as he hugged you deeply. You could feel that he too was smiling and was just as happy as you were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you excited? I am excited!  
> You will spend the winter break together with Sev in his house <3 It will be really fun to write that and I hope that I will be able to update soon!!  
> Please leave a comment <3


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus takes you to his house and you spend a wonderful christmas together.  
> WARNING: SMUT  
> 5,7k words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the break, I´m having so many exams right now! The chapters I write always get longer and longer. I don´t even intend on making them so long, it just happens! Initially I wanted something else to happen in this chapter, but after I wrote about two pages I saw that it would get too much, so that will happen in the next chapter~  
> Also I wanna thank all of you for your lovely comments!!! They make me so so happy and I smile every time I read them! thank you <3<3<3  
> Aaaaand I published an Alan Rickman One Shot so if you´ve got some spare time left, please check it out!

Spinner´s end was a dark and dreary street with a row of identical, shabby houses. As soon as Severus arrived there with his girlfriend, he asked himself why he´d thought it was a good idea to bring her here at all. He must´ve made that decision while being in her presence since it always made everything feel so easy, because right now he came back down to earth. 

His house was the last one in the street, looking just as a poor as the rest. However, she didn´t seem to mind, being right behind the tall man as he unlocked the door. 

It was just as shabby inside as it was outside of the house, the small rooms being dark and oppressive and the windows letting in almost no light at all.   
It had been a mistake to bring her here. This house swallowed every bit of joy and hope, reminding the black haired man of his stupid muggle father and Severus´ bad childhood. 

“Make yourself at home.” The tall man said, although he didn´t believe that was possible, letting her inside and closing the door. For the next minute he kind of avoided looking at his girlfriend’s face, not wanting to see her disappointment. 

It rather surprised Severus as he felt a pair of arms wrapping around him from behind and he turned around, just to find her smiling brightly. Instantly, the potions master felt better and also a little bit relieved, leaning down to her and they shared a sweet kiss. 

Now having a brighter mood, he went over to a wooden closet and with a flick of his wand both of their jackets flew into it and the doors shut themselves.   
The room they stood in was packed full of books that sat in the large shelves and on the window sills, there were even a few stacks of them on the ground next to some old looking armchairs. 

However, there was not a single painting or decoration in the house. And also dust was everywhere since the Professor spent most of his time in Hogwarts, only coming here for the summer holidays. 

As he thought about it, Severus had to smile. Usually he stayed at Hogwarts during the winter break. As he´d told Dumbledore he was going home, the headmaster had looked quite surprised. Of course he had heard about the rumours, but being the wise old man he was, he hadn´t asked. Sometimes Dumbledore could be very creepy. Severus feared that he might already know about his relationship, but he couldn´t really know, could he?

“Are you feeling well?”

The black eyed man asked as he turned around to his girlfriend, stroking a strand of hair from her face. Every time he did so, the mighty wizard feared to break her, as if she was a porcelain doll. But every time he looked at his girl he felt a strong need to touch her and make sure she was fine.

Immediately she started to smile at him, warming his heart with this simple gesture. It was a mystery for the older man how this girl was able to make him feel that way. Usually, nobody got happy around him, rather the opposite. But she seemed to bundle up all of the good traits he´d forgotten about himself.  
“I´m fine, Sevy” She said, smirking a little since she knew he didn´t like this nickname. However, he couldn´t be mad at her, just scowling lightly. The sight made her only giggle more and he gave in, pulling her smaller frame against his chest and softly kissing her forehead. 

“Are you hungry?” Severus asked, since it was already late. Tomorrow was Christmas. When was the last time he´d spent Christmas here? The potions master remembered celebrating the holiday with his parents. It had never been a pleasant matter. 

As Severus saw her nod, he pointed his wand at the luggage and it slowly flew into another room upstairs. 

“You can go into the bathroom and refresh yourself. I´ll be making dinner.”

\--- 

You nodded and did as your boyfriend told you, but not before stealing a small kiss from your lover’s lips. Then you followed the luggage upstairs, going through the dark living room. Everything in this house seemed to be forgotten, a small layer of dust coating the few tables and shelves. If this was the home Severus had spent his childhood in, then you didn´t think he´d had a good one… 

There weren´t any pictures in the whole house. Sure, a ton of books, but no paintings or family pictures. You guessed that Severus had simply removed them, if they had been there in the first place. 

You didn´t dare to ask about his parents yet. The question could upset him and also, being inside his home seemed to change him. The second you two had arrived in Spinner´s End, you´d noticed him stiffening up, like some bad memories had come to his mind. So you did your best to make him feel good. It hurt to see him sad.

As you followed the luggage, you went up a narrow staircase. The second floor was just as dark as the first one and although there were a few windows, they were small and turbid. There were only three other rooms, you assumed them to be the bathroom, his parent´s bedroom and maybe Severus´ old room. The doors were shut though.

You heard a dull thump and moved your head to see that one of the doors had opened and the luggage now stood on the ground in front of a big bed. Going into the room, you saw that it in fact was his parents´ old bedroom. Wait… that meant that you and Severus would sleep in the same bed. When you had thought about spending the winter break with him, you had never thought of this. But now, as you realized it, a big grin spread across your face.   
You couldn´t wait to finally spent time with him undisturbed and in no fear of some people finding out about your relationship.  
In the bathroom you quickly checked your imagine in the mirror, smoothing out your hair a little bit and adjusting your bra, making sure it was a tiny bit visible. You had put on your sexiest set of lingerie for your boyfriend.

That was when you heard Severus´ voice call out from downstairs. Well, he didn´t call out. He spoke in his usual volume but since everything was silent and the house seemed to be poorly soundproofed, you could hear him without any difficulties.

Before you went downstairs, you opened one of your bags and pulled out his coat that he had given you a little time ago. It looked like one of his usual coats but had the length of a cardigan, it was just perfect. Wrapping it around yourself, you went downstairs to see Severus sitting in the small kitchen at an even smaller table.

Before him, there were two plates of yummy food. Smiling brightly at the sight, you sat down across from the older man.   
“How did you do that?” You asked, referring to the food since it was obvious that he hadn´t touched anything in the kitchen. And you couldn´t imagine that he would cook either. 

His answer consisted only of a small smug smirk and you saw that his wand laid right next to him so you assumed he had just done some magic.   
After the two of you had eaten up, you stood up and walked over to your lover, sitting down on his lap. A small smile spread across the pale man´s face and he embraced you in his arms. You cupped his cheek and looked into his beautiful black eyes, then kissing him softly. Immediately he kissed back, his hands roaming your back. It quickly turned passionate and you opened your mouth as you felt him softly bite your lower lip. Your tongues played with each other, sending sparks of pleasure through your body. 

After a few minutes you pulled back, panting as you rested your brow against his. Severus softly started playing with a strand of your hair. 

“What do you do to me?” He breathed out, his lips curling upwards into a smile with the last word he said. 

“What do you mean?” You said, still catching your breath as you cupped his cheek and stroked over it with your thumb. 

Severus gently took your hand into his, leading it up to his lips and putting a delicate kiss to your fingers. The gesture put a smile on your face and you looked at him with a loving gaze.

He also looked at you, black eyes staring into blue ones and he gently stroked over your hand with his thumb. 

“You make me feel so happy.” His words really touched you and instantly you hugged him tightly, only to be protectively embraced by the tall man.

The both of you cuddled for a few minutes, then you felt Severus lift you up by your hips and you wrapped your legs around him as he carried you over to the couch in the living room. Since it wasn´t that big, you two –fortunately – had no other possibility than to snuggle as he laid down onto the couch, simply pulling you on top of him. 

Laying your arms around his neck, you took the chance to gaze into his beautiful eyes for another second, then leaning forwards and kissing him longingly. The embrace of his arms around you made you feel so safe, so loved and cherished. 

You gasped softly as you suddenly felt Severus lovingly bite your lower lip and he took the chance to enter your mouth with his tongue. By now you were used to the feeling and your tongues fought for dominance. This time, you did not make it easy for him but all he had to do was to cup your cheek and caress it with his thumb, making you give in to him. 

After some minutes you both pulled back and you rested your head onto his chest, being out of breathe. A smile spread across your face as you felt Severus stroke over your head, his other arm wrapped around you. 

“I could lay here with you for hours and hours…” You said, letting out a relaxed sigh. 

The man of your dreams answered with a soft grunt and then your gaze fell upon an old TV. 

“Do you watch TV?” You asked, curiously raising your head to look up at him. Severus had been snoozing, his eyes half closed like those of purring cat.  
The question seemed to surprise him a little and he looked over at the old TV. 

“No, I don´t.” 

Right, he hated everything muggle-related. Then he noticed that you were looking at him with big, puppy eyes and sighed. 

“Fine.”

With a swish of his wand he turned on the TV. Another swish and suddenly the fireplace lit up, a pleasant warmth laying itself upon you like a blanket.   
With a relaxed sigh you cuddled closer to Severus as you two watched a rather old horror movie on TV. It was really scary and you sat up on the couch on Sev´s lap as he also sat up. Throughout the movie he only payed partly attention to the TV, having wrapped his arms tightly around you and snuggling his face against your neck from behind. 

Soon the final credits came flickering over the screen of the old TV and you relaxed, not scared anymore. 

That was when you felt Sev´s warm lips on your neck. You closed your eyes as they slid over your skin and up to your jawline where he lovingly bit your tender skin. 

A soft moan escaped your lips and you tilted your head to the side to give him more access. You felt your boyfriend´s hands slowly sliding up your body and you bit your lip as they cupped your breasts. 

He had found a sweet spot at your neck and you moaned out his name what made him start sucking on that spot, creating a beautiful purple mark there. Severus assumed your moans were also a permission for him to start undressing you because he slid his coat that you had put on earlier off your shoulders and opened up your blouse. He also slid the material down your shoulders, followed by your bra which he simply turned downwards. The cold air that hit your exposed skin made you shiver softly but then his hands cupped your breasts, warm and caring. As his hands started kneading your mounds and pinch your nipples you let out a series of moans, feeling yourself get wet. 

In the meanwhile, Severus was still tracing your jawline with kisses and nips and you simply bathed in all of his care and love.   
Again you moaned out his name and it seemed to really please him since you felt him something hard and warm press into you from behind. After a few more moments you couldn´t stand it anymore. The need between your legs seemed unbearable and you turned around to face him, almost pouncing him as you pulled him into a passionate and heated kiss. 

Your hands raked through his hair and then your boyfriend turned you on your back, aggressively smothering your lips with his own as he pushed your skirt up and started rubbing your heat through your panties. 

It made you gasp and you turned impatient, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his pants, palming his erection through his boxers. Severus pushed himself into your hand, groaning into the kiss. 

Finally he pulled down his boxers and your panties and you cried out as he pinched your clit. Without really knowing what you did you wrapped your legs around his hips and pulled him against you.

A few times he ground against you till he found your opening and pushed inside. He gave you a moment to adjust and you took the chance to look at your lover´s face. Severus´ cheeks were flushed, his lips swollen and his hair dishevelled. Right now he looked so damn hot you just wanted him to bang you until you passed out. 

You could see the passion and want in his eyes and to know that it was you who made him feel that way made you only want him more.  
With a smile you told him to move and he did. His thrusts became steadier with time and the both of you let out small moans. You then softly moaned out his name and he looked at you, seeming to be determined. Grabbing your hips, he turned you over and made you ride him while he leaned against the couch. 

It drew a smirk on your face and you moved down on him, his hands still on your hips to help you. Your breath mingled with his as both of you enjoyed the new position. He slid deeper and deeper into you with each time you moved down on him and he grunted when he was fully sheathed inside you. He looked so hot right now and did his best to help you move down on him, heat and pleasure spreading in both of your bodies. 

You cried out as you felt Severus´ fingers pinching your clit several times and it took you over the edge, crying out as the pleasure took over you. As you tightened around him he also came and you slumped down on top of him, panting. 

As Severus had gained back the control over his body he wrapped his arms around you, having his eyes closed in satisfaction.  
Both of you snuggled to each other, enjoying the warmth and being deeply satisfied.

\----

(Time skip: next morning)

You awoke in Sev´s arms in the huge bed. It was unbelievably warm under the blankets since his body worked like a heater. Moving your hand up to stroke a strand of hair behind his ear, you looked down on your sleeping boyfriend. He looked so peaceful. His face was completely relaxed, no trace of worry or grudge in his features. 

As you leaned down to the pale man, a strand of your hair fell onto his face and tickled his skin softly while you put feather-like kisses all over the man´s face. 

Yesterday, after your quality time with each other, Severus and you had taken a shower together and then he had carried you into the bed. It had been a wonderful evening. 

Today was Christmas. A smile came to your face since your boyfriend still refused to wake up and also not to let you out of his embrace. After you put another small series of kisses onto his face you heard a low grumble escape his throat and a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.   
“Wake up” You said softly, stroking his hair and admiring how cute he looked right now.

Slowly, Severus opened his eyes to look at you, a little grumpy since you´d woken him up but also pleased since he´d woken up with you in his arms. It was really adorable to see how sleepy he was and you started to giggle, snuggling back against his chest.   
Letting out a sigh, Severus wrapped his arms tighter around you, his fingers playing with your hair.

“I really enjoyed last night.” He said after a few moments and it made you blush softly. 

“Me too” You said, coming face to face with him. 

“Merry Christmas, Sev.” With these words you put a small kiss onto his lips and smiled at him. 

For a minute it seemed like the pale man had forgotten that the holiday even existed but then he nodded. 

“Merry Christmas to you, (…)” His black eyes found yours and for a moment he really had to smile, stroking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

The gesture was so simple yet so tender that it warmed your heart and you put a kiss to his forehead. 

“Come on, Sev, I´m hungry!”

10 minutes later you both sat in the kitchen. You had wrapped your boyfriend´s coat around you, Sev himself wearing a black dressing gown. He sat at the table, a steaming cup of coffee in front of himself. 

He seemed to be very grumpy in the mornings, eyes still small from sleep and hair slightly out of place. When you sat down on his lap though his mood seemed to lighten up and the black eyed man wrapped his arms around you, resting his head against your shoulder. 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It still was a mystery to the usually so bright wizard how a simple girl could made him feel this way. Whenever he looked at her, immediately his day seemed to get better. Everything felt easier since she was around and he couldn´t get enough of her. 

She was his girl. And he would do anything to see her happy.

Looking up at her, he saw her smiling face and her bright eyes, glowing with happiness. How had he deserved the heart of such a pure woman?  
A smirk played on his lips when he thought about last night. He had never felt so good in his whole life. Not even Lily had been able to make him feel so good. Well, she hadn´t loved him back and she hadn´t slept with him. 

After a while of cuddling, the tall man put a kiss to his girl´s forehead. 

“You must be hungry.” His voice still was a bit hoarse and he grabbed his wand, doing a quick flick and a plate with toast, bacon and scrambled eggs appeared on the table. Being a mighty wizard had its advantages. 

It pleased the potions master to see that a look of surprise and admiration was displayed on her face. A chuckle escaped Severus´ throat as the girl immediately started eating. He then remembered that she wasn´t even allowed to use magic outside Hogwarts. 

Usually, he forget about her age when she was around him. But Severus did not think of her as a student, he simply thought of her as a human being just like himself. Also, he forget about almost all the bad things. Like the fact that they had to keep their relationship secret. But she would be graduate in about a year. They wouldn´t have to keep it a secret anymore then. 

“What are you thinking about?” He heard his girlfriend say and his head perked up. Apparently, he had been staring off into space, having been in thoughts.

“Nothing in particular.” 

Being a master at occlumency he could tell a lie without any difficulties. Over time he had forgotten how to show his emotions at all. But somehow, in her presence, he kind of wished she could read his thoughts sometimes. He didn´t want her to think he was completely emotionless. But maybe he could learn.   
After they´d had breakfast, they changed in something casual. Severus wore a long black button up shirt and his girl wore her favourite sweater. Since it was Christmas, they had agreed on going outside and enjoy the snow. 

Sitting in the living room on the couch, Severus waited for his girlfriend to get ready. He heard her coming downstairs and rose to his feet. Then he felt a pair of arms wrap around his stomach and he turned around, smiling slightly. 

“I…got something for you” She said, shyly handing him over a package wrapped in black velvet with a red bow on top of it. 

“I have also come across something that you might like”

Severus took the package and stuck his right hand into his pocket, pulling out a small box too and handing it over to her.   
Slowly he unwrapped it, pulling out a black scarf from the package. It was made of thick material and ensured to keep him warm. It was funny, he had never thought of ever buying a scarf for himself. 

“That is really nice of you, (…)” He said, delighted to see that she was also happy about the present he got for her. 

It was a short (silver/gold) necklace with a small (flower/favourite animal/etc) pendant. The black eyed man was pleased to see that she immediately tried to wear it and he came to help, stepping behind her smaller form and lifting her hair from her skin, laying the necklace around her neck.

“It fits you.” 

Her smile made him warm up inside, melting the wall he´d built up around himself just a tiny bit. The tall man was about to put on his jacket and the scarf she´d given him when he felt a stinging pain in his left arm. 

Severus knew that feeling all too well. With a soft curse he quickly put on his jacket, the frightened look on the face of his girlfriend made him freeze though. There was no time for detailed explanation, he got to act quickly.

“I… have to go.” He didn´t mean for his words to sound cool, but they did, as if the coldness already came creeping up his body. A painful expression came onto his face, feeling kind of ashamed for having to let her behind like this. 

“It won´t be long.” Was all the pale man managed to say, choked by his own guilt that he felt. As he drew out his wand, the front door flying open and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

\---

Gnashing his teeth in displeasure, Severus arrived at the old mansion. It was Voldemort’s headquarter, to which he had called his death eaters in a hurry. With big steps Severus strode to the building. As soon as he´d arrived, a coldness had surrounded him, reminding him of all the bad things in his life.   
Why had he made the mistake of ever becoming a death eater? Well, he hadn´t had much of a choice, back then. 

With an irritated sigh, the half-blood prince pushed open the old front door, destroying a few spider webs as he entered.   
Severus was surprised to see that he nearly was the only one that had arrived, and he quickly, but with his usual elegance, sat down at the large table.

“Good morning, Severus~”

An unpleasant shiver ran down his spine as he stared with coldness in his eyes at the owner of the bitter-sweet voice.

“Bellatrix.” It wasn´t a warm welcome. Whenever Bellatrix wanted to speak to him, it always spelled trouble. “May you be so kind and tell me why you have called me on Christmas morning?”

She only burst out into laughter and sat down on the table right in front him instead of a chair. Her proximity made Severus uncomfortable but he didn´t move a muscle, just staring at her. It was the usual fight for dominance between the two of them and Severus did not plan to lose. 

“That´s why I called you, Sevy~ I´ve got some good news. The Lord has big plans with you… he still seems to trust you. Just know that neither I, nor the others trust you, Severus.”

She continued to speak and while she did, a pale skinny hand came to play with the collar of his shirt. Indeed, the dark lord had some big plans for Severus. However, it did not surprise him. But her constant attempt on touching him was annoying and the tall man was about to rip her hand off him with a quick move as a look of pure surprise came to her face.

“Oh! What´s this?”

Her sharp nails almost cut into the sensitive skin as she examined his neck. A big grin spread across her face and before Severus could do something, she started snickering.

“Does little Sevy have a girlfriend?” 

Damn. She must´ve found a love bite on his neck that his girl had given him last night. Severus was really tempted to tell her everything, to drag about that someone loved him back, that this someone was the most wonderful woman in the world and that right now he had everything he´d ever wanted.   
But he was a smart man. 

“That is none of your business, Bellatrix.” Severus hissed at her, standing up. He was much taller than her and hoped his size would intimidate the cruel woman, but of course it didn´t. 

“Tell me, Sevy. Is she pretty? Of course she is. Too pretty for a man like you. The last woman you loved died, Severus.” 

The potions master had been about to leave, but her last sentence left him boiling in anger and in a second he stood right before her, his eyes piercing through her own. 

“Don´t. you. dare.” He hissed out, his venomous voice not more than a whisper. 

It made Bellatrix only more cheerful and she wrapped her hands around his neck, giving him a passionate gaze.

“You know, If you want something you only need to ask~” 

Determined, Severus took a step back, making sure to punish the woman with the despicable look he gave her. 

“You´re pathetic. “ And with this words, he left. 

The mighty wizard felt a strong pain tearing at his heart. He knew that if one of the death eaters ever found out about his love, they would take her away from him. Since many of them questioned his loyalty towards the dark lord, they would use her as an indemnity to ensure he would do everything they wanted. In the next months Severus would take over a big responsibility. He had to make sure that no one found out about his relationship. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to his girl. He had to protect her. 

\---

You had been sitting on the couch and waiting for your boyfriend to return. Your worries felt as big as the loneliness in this house. You really missed him. There were so many questions in his head. Being in love had made you blind about the fact that the man you loved was a death eater.  
Had Voldemort called him? And why? 

Thinking about it made you feel sick and for the hundredth time you took a look at the small clock in the living room. 17 minutes had passed. Why did it take so long?

You flinched as you heard a noise from outside the house and then the door flung open, Severus entering with quick steps. You let out a relieved sigh, but at the same time, you felt uncomfortable. For a second you were scared. Maybe the death eaters knew and had ordered him to kill you. No, that was rubbish. 

You almost ran up to him and hugged him tightly, burying your face against his chest. You could feel that he had stiffened up. He was so different like this. Almost scared, you looked up into his face, searching for answers. 

Severus must´ve noticed your fear because as he saw your face he embraced you tightly, putting one hand onto your head as if he wanted to protect you from everything in this world. 

“Is everything okay?” You dared to ask after a few moments. 

Severus nodded but he didn´t meet your gaze as he did. It only made you more scared but when his eyes finally met yours, every doubt vanished. Calmly but determined he looked at you, his arms tightly holding you to his body. 

“I want you to know that I´ll protect you with all my might. Never forget that.” 

His words warmed your heart and you gave him a small smile, then snuggling against his chest. Your boyfriend tilted his head downwards to rest it against yours, stroking over your hair. 

“Let´s go.” 

He took your hand into his and opened the door to leave. 

“Wait, Sev. You forgot your scarf.” With a soft giggle you laid the scarf around his neck, making sure that he wouldn´t get cold. 

It must feel weird for the older man to be cared for like this, because his face showed a small hint of surprise, but right now he really looked handsome.   
You took a few steps away from the house and then Severus laid his arm tightly around your waist and apparated.   
It was a busy muggle town, full of people that minded their own business. To your surprise, it snowed. A big grin spread across your face as you looked up at the sky, letting the snowflakes tickle your face. 

Your boyfriend let out a small chuckle as he saw your almost childish delight. Hand in hand, you went down a small street. It surprised you that he had chosen this place, but then you remembered that you two couldn´t show up together in the wizarding world without getting involved in a huge scandal.   
Those people didn´t know about your ranks and they didn´t care, some of them even smiling as they saw you two walking down the street.   
It felt so natural to hold his hand and be close to him. As if you'd known him forever.   
You stopped in front of a small booth that sold a few drinks. 

“Can we have two cups of (tea/coffee/cocoa/mulled wine)?” 

The old man behind the counter snickered. “One for you and one for your girlfriend, eh?”

Immediately you blushed. It was the first time someone had pointed out the obvious and it made you feel really comfortable that Severus silently agreed with the man’s words. So it was official now.

Surprisingly, Severus possessed some muggle money and as he paid for it you took the warm glass into your cold fingers, thanking him.   
The two of you went over to a small bench that was in front of a frozen lake. Sitting down, you snuggled tightly against him, the liquid warming you up inside and you let out a relaxed sigh. 

You appreciated that he had come here for you. 

Softly calling out his name, you made him look at you. He put his glass down onto the bench next to him and wrapped his arms tightly around you.

“I´m so happy I can spend Christmas with you.” You said, stroking a strand of hair behind his face. 

“So am I.” He said, his voice sounding warm and calming. 

Leaning forwards, you two shared a sweet kiss. The happiness made you almost dizzy and as you pulled back, you looked into his beautiful black eyes. Because of the way you looked at him, your gaze being full of love your cheeks heating up, even a fool could tell that you were head over heels in love with him. 

“Sev…?” 

Your shy voice drew a small smile to his face and he kissed your forehead. 

“Yes, (…)?”

You felt his warm hand cupping your cheek and you had to blush under his gaze as you took his other hand into yours. 

“I think… I love you.” Before you could probably think about your words, you had already said them and you looked down, hoping it didn´t set him off.  
For a few moments he kept silent and you started biting your lip softly. As finally had the courage to look up at him, you found a battlefield of emotions on his face. With your words you had managed to tear down his walls for a few moments. For years, the poor man had hid all of his feelings and emotions, built a wall around himself. For years, everything that he´d felt were loneliness, grudge and guilt. And then, a small innocent girl had started to make him believe in love again, made him believe that he had deserved happiness. 

This was all he´d ever wanted. Someone loving him back had become a wish that would never come true, and here you were, laying your heart into his hands. 

Severus was overwhelmed with all the emotions he had right now, not able to recall that he had ever felt like this. He was overwhelmed with these feelings of love and happiness, every time when he looked at your face. 

Your words had hit him hard and now there was no denying anymore, no turning back. 

“I love you too, (…)”

He said, taking your face into his hands and giving you a soft kiss. 

With those words, finally the ghost of Lily disappeared from his mind. Of course, he would always remember her. But he did not love her anymore. He loved you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the next chapter: What are the plans the dark lord has for Severus?  
> Also, there will be a lot of drama and slight violence in the next chapter!  
> Please don´t think that I don´t like Bellatrix, I really do like her actually! She´s my favourite death eater. 
> 
> Please leave a comment!


	7. chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is a jealous boyfriend and you put yourself in great danger.  
> WARNINGS: smut and description of pain!!!  
> words: 6,5 k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i´m sooo sorry guys that I´ve not been able to update! School is killing me right now and I have barely time write. No matter what, I´ll continue this story though until it´s finished!  
> Thank you all so so so so so much for your comments <3 <3 <3 They make me so happy, ily guys <3  
> And we hit 2,1k views and 135 likes! Your support makes me really happy <3
> 
> There´s a lot drama in the chapter because I´m a drama queen~~~  
> The last part of the chapter was really hard to write but I hope that it´s still convincing and that you´ll still have fun reading it!

It was good to see Severus´s other side. You hadn´t seen it in a while, but there he was, striding through the room with his coat flying behind him. His elegance was displayed on highest point like this, when he was able to silence the whole classroom just with his gaze, his form being full of authority and knowledge and perfection. It reminded you why you´d fallen in love with this man. 

Now, he was your lover, behaving sweet and caring towards you. It made you so happy to be around him and you felt special and honoured to call yourself his girlfriend.

DADA class was very interesting with him as a teacher. It wasn´t as fun as it had been with Professor Lupin, but Severus had his own teaching methods.  
One of them perhaps was punishing every male student that Severus thought laid an eye on you. Just to tease him, you had sat down next to Harry and a few other male students. Secretly you found it really hot when your boyfriend got jealous. 

Right now the black haired man was talking about creatures in the forbidden forest. You whispered with one of the male students, giggling softly. It made your professor turn around and eyeing you up sharply. It silenced you and he continued with his lessons. But you continued whispering and flirting, leaning forwards to one of the male students and as you did, you knocked your books off the table. With a loud noise they landed on the ground and you bit your lip, leaning backwards into your chair.

Your professor slowly turned around and strode towards you, his black eyes piercing through your own. 

“Pick them up.”

He hissed and you did, avoiding his gaze as you sat down in your chair again. Usually when this happened to a student, he would just take a few points from their house and scold them. You knew the real reason for this. Severus was punishing you for flirting. 

“5 Points from Gryffindor for interrupting my class, Miss (…)” He said silkily. “And detention for doing so several times. Class dismissed.”  
You couldn´t believe he did this. But at the same time, it was unbelievably hot that he did this. The other people from your house glanced at you compassionately as they went out of the classroom. As soon as the last student had left, Severus pointed his wand at the door and you heard how it shut itself tightly. 

His gaze was almost punishing enough, but you started smirking and sat onto your desk. 

“I´m sorry, Professor. I know you don´t like it when I flirt with other boys…”

As you said so, you spread your legs and leaned backwards, supporting yourself on your hands. To your surprise, Severus´ eyes narrowed and he glared at you, his expression cold as he was striding towards you and standing between your legs in a second. 

His coldness confused you and for a second you froze, looking up at him. Your confusion only got worse as your professor grabbed your hips, pulling you hard against him. 

“You know I´m only interested in your scholastic achievements, Miss (…)”

His actions were so hot that you could feel yourself getting wet already, but you didn´t want to give him this triumph so easily. Keeping cool, you smirked at him, wrapping your legs around his hips. The black haired man was clearly the winner in this game though as he, to your surprise and slight confusion, grabbed your collar and pushed you down onto the desk, leaning over you. 

“Don´t talk with them like this ever again, Miss (…). Neither in nor outside my classroom.”

You smirked. Oh was he jealous.  
Your victory was short, though as you let out a whimper. Severus had slid his hand up your skirt and was rubbing you through your panties.

“S-sev- Professor, what-“

“Never. Again.”

The precision and skill of his fingers drove you insane and you let out a series of small moans. Oh he was good at this. You already were so wet, holding yourself back from bucking your hips against his hand.

“Does your… “excitement” come from thoughts about me, Miss (…)?”

His silky voice only added to your wetness and you fought a blush at his question, avoiding his gaze. You had to cry out though as he pulled down your panties and drove his thumb into your clit. 

“If I should see you flirting again it will have consequences. Don´t think that I won´t take notice if you do it secretly.”

Yes, he was angry. It made him only hotter though. You had given up on fighting him, now bucking your hips against his fingers that were rubbing you. Your wetness was dripping onto the table and you wanted him, now. 

“S-sev, please-“

“Please, what? Enlighten me, Miss (…).” Severus hissed with a mocking undertone, cocking an eyebrow as he was glancing at you, not breaking the eye contact for a second.

His demand made you blush and you bit your lip to hold in your moans from the pleasure his skilled fingers brought you.  
“Please… fuck me.”

Pressing his lips together, Severus let go of your collar with a violent motion, leaning backwards and enjoying the sight. A second afterwards you felt two of his fingers enter you roughly, making you cry out. His movements were quick and firm as he pumped his fingers into you. You let your head rest onto the table as you still stared into his eyes. He seemed to soak up the sight you gave him with his eyes, a moaning mess that was begging him to fuck you.  
Eyeing his crotch, you were a bit surprised to not see a bulge there and Severus followed your gaze, snarling. 

“Before class I was in need of a potion to keep me from getting too excited. It´s hard to control myself when I teach you. I could make you mine in front of the whole class to show these silly boys who you belong to.”

His thumb came to circle your clit and you moaned out in pleasure, your breathing unsteady and agitated. 

“What did you say exactly?” Severus cool voice brought you back to earth and you bit your lip. A pinch of your clit made you moan out again and you looked into his eyes, helplessly drowning in pleasure. 

You knew what he wanted, but were not willing to give it to him so easily. A small devilish smirk came onto his lips and he added another finger to the ones that were constantly pumping in and out of you. It made you whimper in pleasure but it wasn´t enough. Slightly changing the angle of his fingers he thrusted them against your sweet spot, making you cry out his name in pleasure. 

That was what he´d wanted to hear. 

“Good girl. Now, promise to not flirt with them again.”

You weren´t planning on doing so and Severus could see the determination in your eyes. With a smirk, he thrusted again into your pleasure spot, his thumb coming to massage your clit. The firework of pleasure made you moan out loudly and you were bucking your hips, not wanting him to stop. 

“Promise.” His demand was stronger this time, and he aggressively thrusted his fingers against your spot. It made you cry out, the pleasure almost overwhelming. You knew he would be so cruel and stop when you didn´t do as he wanted. 

With a snarl, he pinched your clit, making you cry out and finally give in.

“I promise!” You cried out as you climaxed, afterwards slumping down onto the table. 

A smug smirk appeared on Sev´s lips and with a flick of his wand he cleaned his fingers. The black eyed man walked around the table to where your head laid, leaning down and putting a kiss onto your forehead. He leaned down to your ear while you were still getting down from your high. 

“Next time, when I see one of these stupid little boys try to flirt with you, my hand might slip and I´ll pour the tiniest bit of poison into their drinks…”

His voice sent a chill down your spine but you had to laugh, turning on your side and pulling his head down to you, giving him a sweet kiss. 

“You´re so cute when you´re jealous.”

Severus returned the kiss, stroking over your head as he broke the kiss.

“I am not! jealous.”

-.-.-.-

Spending the winter break with Severus was the best thing you´d ever done. Far away from people that could judge you, far away from being professor and student. Every morning you awoke in Sev´s arms, feeling warm and safe. 

But all good things come to an end, and so did the winter break. It was like you had entirely forgotten that he was your DADA professor and the bigger was the disappointment when you returned to Hogwarts and continued keeping your relationship secret. Living with Severus had felt so wonderful and at the same time like everyday life. 

Now each day after dinner, you sneaked off to his chambers and there you shared a lot of intimate evenings. The more time passed, the stronger became the bond you two shared. There was no doubt left in you that Severus was the man that you loved. And it was great to see that with every new day, he opened up a little more. 

That made you also think more about the fact that he was a death eater. You had no doubt that Severus was loyal to Dumbledore and spied for him on the Dark Lord, but you still didn´t want him to. You could tell whenever he´d had another gathering because of the dark circles under his eyes and his behaviour that was colder than usual. But being a death eater was a part of the man you loved and you had to accept it. 

You wore the necklace he had given you in the winter break every day, hiding it under your blouse. Sometimes, when you sat in the big hall and ate your breakfast, an owl came and gave you a short love letter that your boyfriend had written. It were only a few sentences but it always made you blush and keep the letters like a treasure. 

Of course your friends noticed, but you had convinced them that the relationship with your boyfriend had to be kept secret because you didn´t want any scandals while being in Hogwarts. They understood because you said you were afraid of the other Slytherins and they probably would start picking on you and other Gryffindors would despise you. So you made your friends think that indeed you had a boyfriend and it was one of the students and he was in Slytherin. Well, it was only a small lie. 

Never would you put your relationship in danger. If somebody was to find out, Severus could lose his workplace and you would be thrown out of Hogwarts and both of your lives would be ruined. 

Still, you were so grateful to have him. Severus was such a cute and loving boyfriend. He always chose the words of his love letters well and they warmed your heart. You did your best to also let him know how much you loved him, putting small love notes into the pockets of his jackets and also trying to be a good student in his classes.

Of course there were small fights and some bigger fights. Severus could be quite possessive, for example as he in particular punished this one male student in his class whenever he did the tiniest mistake, because he thought the student was interested in you. 

Also he didn´t like seeing you spending time with Harry, being a little grumpy on days when he had seen you and the boy spending time together in the library to study. 

You always told him that it was unnecessary to worry about other guys because Severus was the one for you. But he wouldn´t listen.  
The problem didn´t get better when you joined Dumbledore´s army.

It was no surprise that end of the school year you were quite relieved that it had ended. Only one year to go until you could have a life with the man of your dreams. 

Severus had asked you to spend the summer holidays with you and of course you´d said yes. 

-.-.-.-.-.-

Your sixth month anniversary was coming up and to celebrate it, Severus had told you he wanted to take you somewhere. He didn´t say where, but that made you only more excited. 

“Ready?”

You heard the calming, deep voice of your boyfriend as you stood before him, looking into his beautiful black eyes. A nod told him that you indeed were ready and a small smile came onto his lips. 

“I´m excited!” You said, a grin spreading across your face. 

“I see.” Severus said mockingly, but then he leaned down to place a kiss to your lips. 

“Close your eyes.” He said, his voice not more than a whisper. 

Doing as told, you closed your eyes and held his hands tightly as he took your ones. It felt like a sudden dizziness went over you but you held onto his hands tightly.

“Now open your eyes.”

The first thing you saw was white. White everywhere. Suddenly coldness crept into your limps and you let out a surprised gasp, your breathe freezing in the air. As you breathed in again, a shiver ran down your spine from the sharp air. There was snow laying all around you. Actually, there was hardly something else than snow. 

It took you a few moments to notice the small wooden hut on a hill not far from where you stood. There were no other houses around, no signs of people living here. But there in the distance seemed to be a small valley. 

With a grin you turned to face your boyfriend and he was relieved to see you smile.

That was why I told you to put on winter clothes. “

…..

The small hut had a completely different atmosphere than Severus´ house. Everything inside the hut was inviting and cozy. It was furnished like a holiday house, with big comfortable couches and beds and even a fireplace. 

Even though the hut was great, for you it didn´t matter where you were as long as Severus was there with you. 

The tall man on the other hand also seemed to enjoy it. He hadn´t been on vacation for years. Maybe even decades. But when his girl was with him, not even that mattered. 

He wondered how it would be to meet her family. Sooner or later he´d have to do that. It was so strange… It would be the first time. Having a girlfriend felt great. It was the first long term relationship the potions master had and right now he couldn´t imagine a life without her. 

Walking into the living room, Severus saw that his girlfriend had turned on the TV and had snuggled onto the couch. 

The pale man doubted he´d ever understand the fascination of television. Walking over to a closet, he grabbed a blanket from, walking over to the couch and laying it onto his girl, not wanting her to get cold. She smiled as she noticed and it warmed his heart. It kind of seemed like the usually grumpy man had lost almost all of his bitterness. Well, love can change anything. 

Today was their six months anniversary. Severus was sure that he´d never had that before but now it was time. Fetching a small box from his jacket, he sat down next to his girl on the couch. Immediately she wrapped her arms around him and let him see her beautiful smile. 

“I´ve got something for you. “

Her face lit up in surprise and he could sense her excitement what brought a small smile to his lips. Handing her the box, Severus was getting a bit nervous. It was weird for him, the mighty wizard, the potions master, the half-blood prince, nervous because of a little girl. 

She unwrapped the gift and then smiled. Severus couldn´t think of a better reward for him. 

“The ring once belonged to my mother. I kept it ever since and now I wanted you to have it.”

The black haired man´s girlfriend carefully examined the old ring, twisting it with her fingers to view it from every angle. It was a simple, yet previous looking thing, with a gem on top of it and a few ornaments on the sides. 

After having examined the thing for a few minutes, she finally put it onto her finger, stretching her arm away from her body to see how the ring looked from this angle. Eventually she then came to hug her boyfriend and give him a kiss. 

“Thank you. I love you, Sev”

The black eyed man had to smile at her words, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her lips softly. 

“I love you to, (…). “

He could see that she valued the ring and would take good care of it. 

Later on going into the kitchen, the black haired man thought about what they should eat for dinner. It didn´t really matter to him as long as he was sure that his girlfriend liked the food. 

The hut was a good place for vacation. Away from other professors, away from these other annoying male students. Now he could have her all to himself. And oh, he would take that advantage. 

.-.-.-.

His black hair stuck to his sweaty forehead. The pale man let out a groan, eyes tightly closed and the features of his face torn in pleasure. 

His hand was grabbing into her hair, making sure her head stayed in place as he rocked his hips towards her mouth. 

The black haired man neared his climax, his breath coming out in shallow puffs from his lungs. 

“Suck harder” He said, struggling to keep his voice calm, needing her to indulge to his demand for the sake of his pleasure. But of course she easily obeyed. He had a very dominant nature after all.

After a few more thrusts he released inside her mouth and pulled out, making the liquid drip down her chin. 

As the black eyed man looked at her he could almost not control himself because his girl looked so hot right now. Slowly coming down from his peak, he raised his wand after a few moments and with a swish the mess had been cleaned up. 

“Good girl.”

In the next minute his lips found hers and gave her a reward for her work which she gladly accepted, her hands tangling into his hair. 

“You look really hot when you climax” She then whispered into his ear, making the tall man almost blush. It was rather embarrassing for him, but if it made her happy to watch him then of course she could do so. 

The two cuddled together in the big bed, watching the many stars in the sky as they shared their body warmth. 

“What are we gonna do tomorrow?” The girl asked. Her voice always calmed him down. Severus liked the sound of it, it was so unique and beautiful. 

“We can do anything you like.” His response did not give away much information, but the half-blood prince stroked over her hair in a soft gesture, kissing her forehead. 

“Oh, I almost forgot! I need some things for school from Diagon alley.” 

The name darkened the black haired man´s mood. Going to the wizarding world meant that wherever they´d go, they couldn´t show up together. It would be a huge scandal. Severus hated the muggle world but right now it was impossible to go somewhere else. 

“School won´t start until a few weeks.” Came a slow reply from Severus  
.  
“Yes, I know, but I want to a good student and not procrastinate!” She said cheeringly, not letting herself get confused by her lover´s grumpy attitude. 

A sigh escaped Severus throat. “Fine.”

She would have to go there alone then. By the thought of her alone in a crowd of hundreds of other men Severus´ mood only got worse. He couldn´t be there to protect her. But it would only be for a few hours. 

“Are you tired?”

Seeing his girlfriend nod, Severus gave her a soft kiss to her forehead and pointed his wand at the lamp that immediately stopped lighting up the room. In the darkness he wrapped his arms around his girl, closing his eyes in content as he felt her nuzzle his chest. 

.-.-.-.-

The next morning you awoke as your boyfriend still was asleep. The long hours of correcting tests and preparing the lessons had taken their toll on him, making him sleep deprived. So you figured out it would be best to not wake him up. He looked so peaceful and for a moment you considered searching for your phone and taking a picture of him. Well, you did but not before kissing his cheek and making sure the blanket was still on him, climbing out of the bed afterwards. 

You did never ask him, but you could tell that in fact he often had his death eater meetings. It scared you a little, but you were convinced that he was a good guy. When you had been in his house together with him, he had told you that he´d do anything to protect you. If the death eaters were to find out that you were his girlfriend, it could get very dangerous. But you´d said that you still wanted to be his girlfriend nonetheless. 

You got dressed and went into the kitchen. In all the time, you had never cooked for him. And since he still slept and the hut had a really big and new kitchen, now was the time. 

After you´d finished breakfast you put it onto a plate, carrying it together with a cup of tea into the bedroom. Severus was still sleeping like a baby, his chest slowly rising and falling.

You put the things onto the nightstand and then climbed into bed once more. Carefully you stroked his hair out of your lover´s face and gave him a kiss onto his forehead. The pale man stirred slightly and let out a grunt. 

“There´s breakfast for you on the nightstand. I´ll go to Diagon Alley now, will be back soon.”

Another grunt from him and you climbed out of bed, Severus sleepily opening his eyes and glancing at you. 

“Be careful” His voice still was a bit hoarse but it sounded even cuter this way. 

“I will” You took a handful of floo powder and went to the huge fireplace and with a poof and a bright green light you were gone. 

Diagon Alley was a friendly, always busy street. You loved it though, the many wizards and witches, the many small shops and magic everywhere.  
You needed a few things for school, a few new books and a new pot for potions class since yours had gotten missing. 

As you were walking down the alley, you felt like being in wonderland. Everything was so interesting and magical here, making you never want to return to the muggle world. You had to think of Severus as you passed by a couple that was holding hands. Twisting the ring around your finger made you feel better, as if you were carrying a part of him with you.  
The ring looked beautiful and you felt honoured that your boyfriend gave it to you. 

After you had everything you needed for school and had securely put it into your small handbag that had an enlargement spell inside of it, you decided to go into a small pub and get a drink. Shopping had made you thirsty and maybe afterwards you would visit the Weasley´s Store another time. 

As you left the pub again, you were feeling a bit dizzy. Was the drink supposed to make you feel this way? You decided it was best to return to Severus now. Wait… where were the fireplaces? They had been over there, but instead there only some stone walls. Well, you had to walk around and find them. Taking a turn to the left, you walked along a narrow alley that ended in another turn to the left. 

Wait, you could remembered this sign! That meant that you were on the right track, right? Moving on, you did a few turns to the right and now you were sure that you´d gotten lost. The shops here did not seem friendly at all, they were rather dark and also there weren´t many people outside. It was best if you returned to DIagon Alley, but you couldn´t remember which you've come here. 

After a few moments of desperation, you bit your lip and moved on. You would just go into a pub and ask for the way back to Diagon Alley or a fireplace.  
As you entered the pub, a queasy feeling appeared in your stomach. The pub was barely lit and it was dark, although the sun was shining outside.  
You wanted to straightly go up to the barkeeper, but he had a lively conversation right now with another man so you decided to be polite and sit down and wait. 

Your noticed that there laid an edition of The Daily Prophet on the table in front of you. The headline was “Will the boy who lived win against the Dark Lord?”  
It made you let out a mocking huff, what turned a head in the corner of the pub. 

“Tell me girl, what is it that you´re laughing at?”

The voice made you shiver slightly in discomfort but again there was no reason to feel threatened, right?

“Oh, Nothing, Miss. Just… sometimes The Daily Prophet is making the people unnecessary scared. Of course Harry will win against the Dark Lord.”

There was a small silence and you kind of wondered if you said something wrong. 

“Tell me, girl, why did you come here?”

“Oh, I just wanted to ask where to get back to Diagon Alley or a fireplace.”

A small snicker was heard from the lady that wore a big black coat. 

“A fireplace is just around the corner, let me show you.”

Sighing in relief, you stood up and followed the lady out of the pub. The sooner you came back to Severus, the better.  
You two left the bar and she walked in front of you, making you follow her. Suddenly though she spun around and grabbed your arm, making you almost jump. 

“W-what are you doing?”

A wicked laugh escaped the lady´s throat and her long nails buried into the material of your coat. 

“Oh, you silly girl, you´ve got some back luck, offending the Dark Lord in front of me of all people.”

You immediately tried pushing her away, but before you could even take another breathe, you felt how the world around you dissolved into light and speed. You two apparated and the next thing you saw was darkness. The feeling in your stomach told you that today wasn´t going to be a good day. You had run into the arms of a death eater. Cursing yourself in your head, you again tried to push her off you but then you felt something poke right underneath your jaw. It was her wand. A sudden fear overwhelmed you that you´d never felt before, making you unable to move.  
With a loud snicker, the woman yanked you forwards, taking huge steps as she walked to a door, kicking it open and yelling. 

“See what I found in the streets~ A small girl that dared to insult the Dark Lord right in front of me. Wormtail! Summon the others, this one knows the potter boy!”

No, today wasn´t going to be a good day.  
Everything happened so fast.  
The woman pushed you into a seat and before you could even think of grabbing your wand, you already saw it disappearing into her pocket as she winked at you. 

“I already know you´re not old enough to use magic since you searched for a fireplace to apparate, but I won´t take rists~”

You wanted to stand up and run right out of this house. This wasn´t were you were supposed to be. You were supposed to be back with Severus! You instinctively looked at the ring he had given you, tears forming into your eyes as you saw that there already were a few people standing around you. There was no chance you could escape. 

Thunder was heard outside and suddenly a few other people appeared, along with… your boyfriend.  
Immediately, you looked down, tears starting to stream down your face. This was all your fault. You had been so silly. The guilt almost seemed to strangle you as your mind raced with questions. You had to do everything to prevent them from knowing that you and Severus had a relationship. It would make him vulnerable, make him do everything they wanted him to do and you mustn´t be the reason for that!

.-.-.-.-

It felt like someone tried to crush his heart as Severus saw you here, in the headquarter, surrounded by death eaters. His arm had started hurting out of nowhere and he´d had a feeling that it was going to be bad news.  
Well, for the death eaters it was good news, because they had been able to capture a girl that knew Harry Potter and insulted the Dark Lord. Silly girl. How could she have insulted him in front of Bellatrix, of all people.

“Hello, Sevy~” Bellatrix purred, welcoming him as he entered the building. “Look what the cat dragged in!”

“Hello, Bellatrix.” 

He wanted to yell, scold his girlfriend for putting herself in danger and immediately afterwards kill every death eater in this whole damn world because they dared to touch you. Out of all the things to happen, this was the worst one. They could everything from him they wanted, but not you. The tall man had to control himself with all of his strength to seem uninterested and cold as usual, because he right now he felt something that he wasn´t used to deal with: fear. 

Bellatrix walked over to you and Severus could see that she grabbed your chin, her long nails almost cutting open your flesh. If she dared to hurt you, Severus wasn´t sure he could keep himself from killing her. 

But he had to control himself. If they were to notice your relationship, everything would be doomed. Immediately they would keep you here and threaten to hurt you in order to make Severus do anything they wanted. It was no secret that a lot of death eaters doubted his loyalty. Bellatrix was one of them. 

“Oh, such a pretty girl. Still so young!” She moved your head to the sides to examine your skin, smirking. “Beauty will fade my dear, let me show you.”

Severus stiffened up, his hand shivering the slightest as he clutched his wand. If she dared to hurt you… He could tell that you did your best at not looking at him or speak to him. It would make everything so much harder. Your face was in tears and it tore Severus´s heart to see you like this. He had to do something. 

In the meantime, Bellatrix had grabbed your hair and pulled your head backwards, making you cry out in fear as she pressed her wand into your neck. Her mood swings turned out to be very dangerous for you.

“How dare you speak ill of the Dark Lord, you silly girl?” She continued to screech at you, being really aggressive and angry. 

“Stop that, Bellatrix.” Severus´s voice cut through the thin air, making the woman look up from you. He strained to keep his voice cool and emotionless, walking over to her. “It´s just a girl. If we would bring everyone here that insulted the Dark Lord, we´d have quite the party…”

Bellatrix hissed at him, not stopping to pull your head backwards. Her face distorted into a wicked smile. 

“She´s not just any girl, Severus! This one was so unfortunate to insult in front of me! The little beast will pay for this…”

Severus pressed his lips together tightly. This situation wasn´t easy. He knew the woman liked to torture people just for fun.  
Bellatrix let out a laugh, suddenly grabbing you and pulling you off the chair just to push you down onto the ground.  
Other death eaters had formed a small circle around you. There were young ones and old ones, but what they had in common was that they liked getting entertained. And right now they were. Sometimes they just grabbed random people that had something against them or the Dark Lord and bring them here to torture them. Like they´d did with the professor, or the young boy. 

-.-.-

Bellatrix smirked, leaning down towards you. Severus stood a few steps behind her, seeming helpless. You were surrounded by death eaters, he couldn´t do anything to save you. 

“Tell me, girl. What was it that you said?”

You didn´t dare to open your mouth, staring onto the ground as the crowd around you started to yell at you. 

“Answer me!” 

The next thing you felt was a violent pain, pulsating in your body from head to toe. You could still see everything clearly, a face in the crowd that smirked as he saw that you twisted in pain, screaming and falling onto your side. It lasted for about ten seconds, but it left you curling up on the floor, praying that it stopped.  
Loud cheering was heard and you started crying again, not daring to try to search for your boyfriends face. 

“I said answer me!”

Your eyes widened in shock. You had to answer or she would make the pain appear again. You sat up, your head spinning as you did. Without thinking, you repeated what you said earlier, just able to think of the immense pain.  
The crowd yelled as you had finished your sentence and you realized that you shouldn´t have said that again. 

“I-I´m sorry!”

You cried out, looking helplessly at Bellatrix. In your head you prayed that she wouldn´t cast the spell again, you had learned your lesson now, right?  
The next time the curse hit you was different. The pain was the same, though your sigh blurred and for a few moments all you heard was a murmuring in your ears. You were blocked from your surroundings, it was only you and the pain that left you bending in agony. 

.-.-.-

Severus wasn´t able to move. He had counted the death eaters. 23. He couldn´t defend 23 death eaters even if he put all of his will into it. Bellatrix´s laugh rang in his ears and he saw her pointing her wand again at his girlfriend. 

A high scream buzzed in his ears, making the blood freeze in his veins. Right in front of him, the woman he loved was tortured and he couldn´t do anything about it. He wasn´t sure if he breathed as her screams echoed from the walls. Again and again, Bellatrix cast the cruciatus curse onto her, punishing her for… only her words. It had only been words. But they´d made her angry. His girlfriend was screaming, no sign of physical pain on her body yet she was in immense pain. 

Was that really her? That creature on the ground, twisting and howling in pain? 

His gaze fell onto your hand and he saw the ring that he´d given you. There was no doubt left. This voice that was begging anyone that heard it to stop, make the pain stop, belonged to her. It sounded nothing like herself, that wasn´t her usual happy and cheerful voice. 

Right there in front of his feet, the woman he loved turned into a whimpering mess, begging for her life. How many minutes had passed? It felt like hours.  
Severus saw Bellatrix turning around to him, shooting him a smirk. With all of his might he kept his face emotionless and himself from pouncing this woman and letting her die a slow and painful death for hurting his love. 

The crowd started to disband, people leaving the building. After a few seconds, the potions master noticed that Bellatrix was talking to Lucius, right next to him. Severus wasn´t able to concentrate on their words but he heard that they were talking about killing or obliviating the girl. 

“I can do it.” It surprised him how calm his own voice sounded. And he kind of hated himself for being able to keep calm while his girlfriend suffered.

Lucius cocked an eyebrow and Bellatrix smirked, winking at him as she passed by him very closely and whispered “Have fun~”

Lucius hesitated for a moment, then he also left, nodding at Severus. The man didn´t like working so he was glad someone else would do the job. 

Severus still wasn´t able to move, hearing how the door behind him shut itself, leaving him alone with her.  
The tall man fell to his knees, his eyes fixed onto the person in front of him on the ground. 

She had curled up, dried tears all over her face and neck. Her eyes were closed, but her lip and a few of her muscles twitched slightly, making her look even more miserable. There was dried blood from where she had pressed her nails into her palms and some of it was smeared over her face.  
Severus whispered out her name, not daring to speak too loudly in fear that it could hurt her even more. 

The girl started to sob softly, her fragile body rocked by her sobs as she laid on the cold stone floor.  
Severus softly shoved his hands under her, picking her up into his arms. It felt like picking up many pieces at once more than picking up one piece. She felt so fragile, so small, so vulnerable. 

Then he apparated, not wanting to let her stay there for another second. Away from Bellatrix and away from the pain. 

As soon as he stood with her in his arms in the living room of the small hut, he carefully put her down on the couch and cried. His body was shaking from the sobs and he leaned over her, stroking her messy hair away from her face and embracing her in his arms.  
He wasn´t even able to protect the woman he loved the most. It had been his fault in the first place that she had gone to Diagon alley on her own. Because of his fear she´d had to endure all of this pain. 

With shaking hands he pulled out his wand, murmuring a spell to put her to sleep and to heal her body as much as possible.  
Afterwards he scooped her up in his arms, determined to not let her out of his sight for even a second. No one would hurt her ever again. 

The pale man hadn´t cried in a long time. It had been a good idea to apparate to the hut. The death eaters didn´t know about the place in the snow. She would be safe here in his arms. This time, he would make sure she was. 

It would get even easier once he was headmaster in Hogwarts to have an eye on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought about the chapter! <3  
> Was the smut too much/ too less?  
> And about the cruciatus part - could you handle it?  
> I planned on writing this chapter a long time ago and now I´m finally done! I hope that it wasn´t too much!


	8. chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is a caring boyfriend and you return to Hogwarts. Things change and your relationship suffers. Severus has a plan on how to protect you from further pain...  
> words: 4,9k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m so sorry I kept you waiting, guys!!! It´s hard to get something done in Christmas season - especially since I got pokemon moon and animal crossing.... e_e  
> But I sat all day and wrote this chapter so I hope it was worth the wait <3 I wrote this in a hurry so I hope it´s still as good as the rest and I will do my very best to update soon again!  
> Thank you all so much for your lovely comments, they motivate me so much, ily guys <3<3<3  
> and yay we hit 2,7k views :DDD

You awoke from a nightmare, opening your eyes as you listened to your own rapid breathing. Complete darkness was surrounding you and you tried lifting up your head, failing. Almost not hearable you managed to call out your boyfriend´s name, voice sounding hoarse and strained. 

In a second he was by your side, scooping you up into his arms and cooing soothing words. Confused because you couldn´t see anything and because you couldn´t move your body, you cried out his name again. It made him hastily pull out his wand and enlighten a lamp that was standing next to the bed you laid on. 

Even though you tried, you couldn´t move your limbs, they felt too heavy and you had too little strength. 

Severus stroked reassuringly over your hair, leaning your body against his so you could sit upright. 

“It´s fine now. You´re safe.” He cooed, his arms holding you securely to his chest. 

You tried to remember what had happened. 

“I gave you a potion to numb the pain. You will be able to move again soon.” 

His words soothed you and you let out a sigh, nuzzling your face into his chest. A flashback of the pain made you uneasy though, remembering the twisting in agony while hearing the laughter of the woman and seeing the nasty face of the man in the crowd. The memory of the pain was overwhelming and you silently started crying. Severus pulled you closer against him, embracing and protecting you in his arms, resting his chin on top of your head. 

The two of you sat like this until you had calmed down, only sniffling softly. Leaning against his chest, you could hear your boyfriend’s heartbeat, steadily thumping against your ear. It calmed you down and let you relax, knowing you were safe in his arms. 

You looked up to see your lover´s face in the light of the lamp. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked tired. Had he been waiting besides the bed all the time for you to wake up? And it looked like he had been crying too. It immediately made you feel bad that he was suffering because of you. Your lover avoided your gaze, stroking over your hair lightly and after a while starting to speak. 

“You have been sleeping for two days and caught a fever. It´s important that you´ll try to take it easy the next few days.”

You nodded, willing to do anything he said since you still felt a bit guilty.

.-.-.

Severus was relieved as he saw the agreement in her eyes. 

“You should wash yourself. I´ll help you.” 

He remembered that he had told her to take it easy a few seconds ago, so that meant she couldn´t walk alone. He carefully lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the bathroom. His hands found the hem of her pyjama shirt and he wanted to undo it but his girlfriend shook her head. With a smile she told him that she could do it by herself and Severus took care of the bathwater, making sure it had the right temperature. 

The hut had a rather large bathroom and the tub was huge. There could easily fit three people inside of it, probably it was one of these honeymoon bathtubs. The black haired man poured some of his potions into the water and it turned slightly pink. They were meant to relax the muscles and strengthen the body. 

As he turned around, his girlfriend stood behind him, only wrapped in a towel. She looked fragile and feeble and it made Severus take another check on the bathwater. 

.-.-.

You chuckled and let the towel drop, glancing at your boyfriend. It made you a little sad to just find worry written on his face, his eyes scanning your body for any sign of neglect rather than looking at it in a sexual way. Without a word you stepped inside the bathtub. The warm water made you instantly relaxed and you made yourself comfortable. 

Severus just sat on a chair next to the tub, a staple of books had already placed in the bathroom by him. You couldn´t help yourself but pout. 

“Sev, can you… come in too?”

A small giggle escaped your throat by the surprised look on his face. He hesitated, probably thinking that when he too was in the tub, nobody could defend you when death eaters should suddenly appear in your bathroom. Your laughter seemed to soothe him though and he nodded, wanting to do anything that made you happy and taking off the black layers of his clothing. 

You pulled him towards yourself and gave him a soft kiss, lovingly stroking his hair behind his ear. It made your boyfriend look like it relaxed him instantly and he even let you see a small smile. 

“I love you.” You said, looking into those beautiful black orbs. 

He said the same back to you and nuzzled his face against your neck. It almost made you feel guilty because probably, he had thought that your torture had been his fault. This was his way of asking for forgiveness and you instantly wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking over his hair and holding him tightly. 

Sometimes, even a mighty, cunning wizard needed to be held and comforted. You sat like this for a little while and then you rearranged your positions. Sev moved to sit behind you and you leaned against his chest, letting out a relaxed sigh.  
He grabbed a book to read it and your gaze fell upon a red spot on his skin. 

“What´s that?” 

.-.-.-.

She took his hand into her own small ones, examining it like a precious jewellery. There was a cut in his palm. It wasn´t big, though it was deep and it looked like he hadn´t used any of his spells or potions on it. 

“Sev…” 

Her voice sounded sad and heavy as she pressed his hand against her. He hadn´t treated the wound as a kind of punishment for himself. His girlfriend had gone through a hell of pain because of him and he hadn´t even gotten the tiniest little scratch. It had just not been fair. So as he had cut himself by accident on a broken potion bottle, he had decided not to treat the wound, wanting to suffer with her, maybe even suffer in her place. 

For days he had sat next to her bed, not leaving her side to eat something, only worrying about her health and her body and neglecting his own.  
The potions master had sworn to never let her get hurt again. He had a plan to how he would do it. Trying to hide her hadn´t worked. 

 

\----

Severus took very good care of you. He did everything to make you feel better, letting you sit in his lap and watch TV with you, only preparing dishes you liked and comforted you whenever you needed it. At night, he would hold you in his arms and stroke over your hair until you fell asleep. In those nights you couldn´t fall asleep he read out books to you, his wonderful voice soon sending you to sleep. 

You needed a few weeks to feel stable again, not having left the house a single time. Severus had asked you to go a café with him, wanting that you slowly got used to other people again. It was another thing he did only for you, since he despised people and going out in public just as much as you did right now, but he did it to make you feel better. 

To all times he made sure you were wrapped in blankets and one of his coats, not wanting you to get cold. The worry in his eyes made you feel guilty but he told you that there was nothing to worry about.

Once you awoke in the middle of the night, calling out Severus´ name but he didn´t come. He wasn´t there. Walking around the house, you searched for him, anxious and worried. 

-.-.-.-

Severus apparated back to the small hut. A sigh escaped his throat as the coldness of the snow laid around his feet, coating his boots in mud and half-melted snowflakes. He could see that there was a small light coming from one room upstairs. Had she woken up? Swiftly he approached the hut, opening the front door. Maybe she had fallen asleep again, so he had to be silent not to wake her. 

He entered the warm living room, undoing his winter clothes to let the heat of the almost sleeping fireplace warm up his body. The black haired man took a few careful steps into the living room, wanting to sneak up the stairs as he heard a creak coming from it. 

There she stood, wrapped in one of his coats and her pyjamas. She looked a little worried though calm, what made him relieved. 

“Sev?” 

Her voice let him leave all of the stiffness behind that had crept up his limps again from his previous visit. He embraced his girlfriend, stroking over her hair. Her big eyes that were looking up at him had a questioning gaze and he knew what she wanted to ask. Where had he been? He´d had another meeting in the headquarters, discussing about the new task he´ld take on. 

Soothing her with a kiss to her forehead, she relaxed and nuzzled her head against his chest. Severus held his girlfriend tight, stroking over her back. She gave him so much strength and faith in himself. 

“I cast the unforgivable curse upon Dumbledore.”

For a moment, he felt that she stopped breathing. Then he saw her face, looking up at him in shock and horror. 

“You… killed him?” Her voice sounded so small, not at all like herself. 

Severus looked deeply into her eyes, not flinching once. 

“Yes.” His words sealed his actions, letting himself realize what he had done. For a moment he feared she would leave him now that she knew. But she wrapped her arms around him. Under this gesture of affection and loyalty, he broke. He had killed Dumbledore. He was doomed. 

Before, Severus had tried to just ignore his actions, pushing them off by telling himself that it was something he´d had to do. But with her, he allowed himself to be vulnerable, to admit to his actions and in order to that, allow himself to get over it and not walk around feeling guilty. 

After a few minutes, Severus pulled back to look into his girlfriend´s eyes. “Thank you.”

She answered by putting a sweet kiss to his lips and he stroked over her hair. She was his sunshine, his warmth, his love and the only thing that kept him from getting insane in this dark world. 

“What´s going to happen to Hogwarts?” Her voice sounded a little anxious. Severus knew how much she loved Hogwarts and he straightened up, looking deeply into her eyes. 

“I´m going to be headmaster.”

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

It was more than strange returning to your beloved wizarding school knowing that your boyfriend was your headmaster. What an improvement… 

You had spent the summer in the small hut in the snow. It had taken a few weeks until you healed physically and emotionally from the torture. Severus had helped you a lot. Without him, you still now would flinch every time you saw someone holding a wand or a large group of people. 

Your boyfriend was concerned that you could have a PTSD, but you did your best to get over everything that had happened. 

The atmosphere in the school had changed. Hogwarts wasn´t a happy, cheerful school anymore. Now, it was full of death eaters and dementors took care of the gates. 

Two particular death eaters let all of the students, including you, be careful of every step you took. One wrong move and you could be sent to the Carrow twins. They were in charge of punishment at Hogwarts, two sadistic death eaters that worked as “professors”. 

Everyone that said anything against the death eaters or the Dark Lord got punished. Muggle-borns were treated like animals. You could be happy if you only got some scratches, because the twins loved to torture the students with the cruciatus curse. 

Severus changed too. With all the stuff that was going on in Hogwarts, you couldn´t be cheerful around him, like you used to be. You used him as protection whenever you two were together, fear had taken over your senses. Partly because you constantly were reminded of your torture. 

Severus took note of the change in your behaviour and you felt that he was shutting himself off from you a little. He hid his feelings again, slowly building up the walls again. You knew he loved you, but it hurt to see him like this. Especially when you yourself couldn´t do anything because the fear was a constant companion of yours. 

You made sure he ate and got enough sleep. Well, whenever you had the feeling he neglected himself you told him to sleep or eat and you really hoped he did. Right now you were scared he could shut himself entirely off from you and not let you in anymore. 

You didn´t know what to do. Hogwarts was now a dark place, the students trying their best to keep calm. Only the Slytherins were cheerful and happy, but even they got punished sometimes. 

.-.-.-.-. 

It was a Tuesday. Today you had only lessons in muggle studies. A Carrow twin was the professor for that subject and you deemed that something bad would happen. 

You hadn´t thought your last year at Hogwarts would look like this…

Alecto Carrow already waited in the classroom. A wicked grin spread across her face and then your gaze fell upon the small children that were standing in the corner of the room, looking like lost puppies. 

Wait…. Were they first years?

Carrow pointed at the horde of small students. “These are muggle-borns.”

Her wandered from left to right, taking in all of the students in her class – including yourself. Everyone held their breath, trying to not look into her eyes and praying to be spared by everything that was to come next. 

“You! Gryffindor!”

She pointed at you, her face had a determined and at the same time sadistic expression.  
Hesitantly, you took a step forwards. 

“…yes, professor?” The words burned on your tongue after you spoke them. Such a sadistic person should never be a Professor at Hogwarts!

“Are you a mudblood?” Her question didn´t surprise you.

“I´m a half-blood, professor.” 

She nodded, seeming not surprised either. 

“I was expecting that. We have to control you half-bloods. Muggle-borns are not to be treated like us wizards. They´re equally muggles and we´ll work to supress the muggle sides of the families of you half-bloods.”

Her words sounded like razor blades and you had to strain to not start shivering in front of her. 

“And we´ll start with you. Everyone, listen up! In order to let go of your filthy muggle parents, you´re going to torture these muggle-borns to once more be reminded that these creatures are inferior and only deserve to be treated this way.” She looked at you, her light eyes piercing through yours. Although she had a sharp voice, she did not have in any way the authority that Severus had. She was feared, not respected. 

“I want you to practice the cruciatus spell using these shoddy children over there.”

You felt like being struck by a lightning. 

“Come on, girl!”

Every muscle of your body refused to do as she said, to torture this child that had absolutely done nothing wrong. It wasn´t fair! And also, if you were to torture this kid, you would do exactly the same thing that Bellatrix had done to you. 

You shook your head, making a few of the students gasp and watching the scene with fear. 

The eyes of the Carrow twin narrowed and she huffed. 

“Fine, then we´re going to practice the spell on you!” All of the students now looked like they had been struck by a lightning, not moving as they watched their professor and you in horror. 

“You, Huffflepuff boy! Cast the spell upon her!”

You looked at the poor boy, silently pleading him not to do it. And to your surprise, he shook his head. 

“I´m not going to torture her, Professor.”

The other students agreed, no one wanting to torture you. The loyalty and coherence almost brought tears in your eyes, making you believe that Hogwarts maybe could be saved. 

The Carrow twin was raging in anger, turning to you again. 

“Fine, then I´m going to demonstrate to all of you what happens if you don´t behave to me!” Her voice roared and then, you felt the pain again. It wasn´t as strong as it had been as Bellatrix had done it, but the pain was still overwhelming. You twisted and fell on your side onto the ground, screaming as small wounds appeared all over your body. They bled and let you look really miserable.

The only thing you could think of was Severus. This time he wasn´t here to save you. Not noticing it, you screamed out his nickname, but your voice was swallowed by your cries of pain so fortunately, no one understood your words. 

She only did it three times, then she stopped as you were cowering on the cold stone ground.

“Already had enough?” She asked, a wicked grin on her face. Though she knew that she had lost the fight. She had to think of a new strategy, it was no use to continue the lesson like this. 

This time, you didn´t pass out. You felt every muscle in your body, painfully strained. You felt everything crystal clear.  
Panting, you stood up, shivering and with wide eyes. 

“Class dismissed.”

A few students waited for you and you gladly approached them. They were trying to shield you from the others as you were walking down the hallways. You tried to stop shivering but your muscles didn´t stop lightly twitching, it was the aftermath of the pain. 

It warmed your heart how caring all of the students were. As you arrived in the common room, you were giving a blanket and a hot tea and you smiled at the other Gryffindors, glad to be cared for like this. 

You knew that Severus didn´t have time tonight and you were happy about it. Nothing good would come out of letting him see you like this. No, it would make everything worse. You decided not to tell him. It would make him angry and you had to be more careful than every right now, surrounded by all of these death eaters. 

.-.-.-.

The next morning you felt better. The aftermath of the torture had faded and you were walking down the hallways with your old strength. Today hadn´t been different from the last days. You had seen how the students had tortured the first years. It had been horrible. 

You were determined to stop this. Well, not actually you but you knew someone who could. Opening the heavy door, you found your boyfriend sitting at his desk. 

Dark eyes looked up as you entered the headmaster’s office and Severus viewed you with a tired gaze. Without a word you wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your head against his neck. After a few seconds, he returned the embrace, pulling you into his lap. 

It was relaxing to cuddle with him like this and you could see that it had the same effect on him. His embrace got stronger the longer you hugged him and he let out a small sigh, holding you tightly in his arms. 

“Sev?”

He grunted and you put a small kiss against his jaw. It made him close his eyes in enjoyment. 

“I saw them torturing the children. They do it almost every day.”

Your boyfriend didn´t say anything though you went on. 

“I don’t like this, Sev. I… I want them to stop!”

You could feel him stiffening up again and the arms around you loosened and he opened his eyes again. 

“I feel the same way, (…). Why exactly are you telling me this?”

You bit your lip, coming face to face with him. 

“Because I want you to do something about it, Sev.” 

His eyes once more didn´t give away any of his thoughts but you could tell he disapproved. 

“You know pretty well that this is beyond my power, (…).” 

By his voice you could tell that he felt betrayed. Biting your lip, you stood up from his lap, looking at him with tears in your eyes. 

“If anyone can stop them, it´s you!” You said, distress and fear in your voice. 

Severus didn´t say something for a few seconds, then he stood up. For the tiniest second, you were scared by him. He was naturally much taller than you and had much more authority and knowledge and power, so why did he feel the need to stand up? As he spoke, his voice made you almost jump. It was cold and scary and let the air around you freeze. 

“Only the Dark Lord can incline them to stop their punishments. It may look like I´m in control but I am not! I am only here to watch over the school and take the place for him until he will lose the fight. Don´t you understand that, (…)?”

You stood there in shock, feeling tears well up in your eyes as you took a step back. It hurt to hear him talk like this and see him being tired and worn out by the responsibility he bore. But still, you thought that he really could so something about the situation. You couldn´t watch these children getting tortured and abused. 

You threw your hands in the air as you had gained back your posture.

“For god´s sake, Severus, do something! I know you can! Do you want to let all of these children get hurt like I did?”

Your words seemed to stroke him and the features of his face expressed bitter coldness. His eyes got even blacker, if it was possible and he towered before you like a wolf before its prey. 

You had never seen him this scary and instantly you took a step back. It seemed to only make him angrier. 

“I can´t do anything!” He then almost yelled at you, his fiery gaze upon you, leaving you nowhere to hide from it. 

You didn´t know why, but this let the tears roll down your cheeks and you back away from him, trying to run away but he grabbed your wrist.  
You gasped and looked with wide and scared eyes into his, letting his anger subside a little and he let go of your wrist again. His gaze came to rest at a red scratch of your arm though and his eyes narrowed. 

Not wanting him to see your scratches for any longer, you left as fast as you can, the tears streaming down your face as you returned to your dorm.

.-.-.-.

As soon as she had run out of his office, Severus slumped down on a chair. He had his face buried his hands, his jaws tightly pressed onto each other. Anger and fear fought inside of him, leaving a battlefield behind. Why did she not understand? He was as shocked about the torture of the students as she was.  
And what was that on her arm? Had that been only scratches, or…? Severus clenched his fists. 

The anger rose inside of him. Again, he hadn´t been able to protect his girlfriend. Again, she had suffered because of his failure at being a caring boyfriend.  
The black haired man took a deep breath and then sighed. He had to stop this. And he knew how. 

.-.-.-.-.

You hadn´t gone to see Severus today. Neither yesterday. He would want to see your skin and if he saw the scratches he would know.  
It hurt to not see him. You neglected yourself, not eating, not taking much care of your appearance. Severus was such an important person in your life and being away from him made everything seem dreary and you were more scared than ever. 

The days just went by and in a blink of an eye, you realized that tomorrow was an important day. Tomorrow there would be a ball in honour of all the students that respected and obeyed the death eaters and of course in honour of the death eaters themselves. It should remind the students once more of their power.

Although a ball was something you usually looked forwards to, this time you wished the event would be over in a moment.

But the time ran fast and before you realized it, you were in your dorm, preparing yourself for the ball. As you looked at your dresses, deciding which one to wear, your gaze fell upon the one you had wore to Slughorn´s party. The day Severus and you had gotten into a relationship. You couldn´t hold back the tears as they streamed down your face and you sobbed as you put on any other dress, being painfully reminded of how much you missed him. 

You tried covering up your tear-swollen eyes with concealer that one of your friends lent you. You helped each other with your hair and then you were ready for the ball. 

Together with your friends, you went to the great hall although you rather wanted to go anywhere but there at the moment. The hall wasn´t lit with the usual bright candles. Instead, green flames wrapped the room in a gloomy atmosphere. The ceiling that usually displayed the bright sky, only showed a stormy and cloudy night. 

With a sigh you went into a corner of the hall, trying not to search for your lover with your eyes. 

It was then that a Slytherin student went up to the small group of Gryffindor girls that included you. Slytherins and those students, who had gotten loyal to the death eaters were granted with a special badge and had a higher rank than normal students. The Carrow twins and the other death eaters favoured them extremely. 

The Slytherin student then stretched out his hand towards one of your friends. 

“I want to dance with you.”

She and the other girls were silent. Only the music and the chatter of the other students in the rest of the hall could be heard. Your friend didn´t want to dance with him, everyone could see that, but also everyone knew that she would get punished if she didn´t obey. 

Alecto Carrow was standing behind the Slytherin student, watching the scene with a grin. Slowly, your friend moved towards the Slytherin boy with tears in her eyes. You couldn´t stand doing nothing. And right now your friend needed your help. 

You stepped in front of her, glaring at the Slytherin boy.

“She doesn´t want to dance!” You hissed at him. 

The eyes of Alecto darkened and the Slytherin seemed to be taken aback, looking hurt and angry. You didn´t move away though, ready to fight for your friend. Carrow moved towards you then, fiery anger in her gaze. She pulled out her wand and pointed it at you, and you closed your eyes, ready to be punished. 

But you didn´t feel any pain. 

“Alecto!” 

A familiar voice was heard and you opened your eyes, seeing Severus stand only a few steps away from the Carrow twin. She looked confused, the wand still in her hands. For a moment, she and the black haired professor only stared at each other. Eventually she let her wand sink to her sides, looking discouraged.

Severus slowly turned towards you and you looked into his eyes. He knew that everyone could see you two, right? 

Not daring to speak, you could hear the students around you whispering in excitement. That had never happened before. Snape protecting a student from a punishment was something no one had believed was possible. 

You then slowly understood why he stood in front of you right now and looked at him with a scared look, pleading him not to do what you thought he wanted to do with your eyes. 

Severus returned your gaze though, not for once looking away. And with his usual elegance, he stretched his hand out to you.  
The whole hall fell silent, only the music still played. 

Your face flush as you felt all of the gazes upon you but taking a deep breath, you took his hand. Severus pulled you close and his other hand came to rest on your hip. His eyes still locked with your own, he raised the hand that was holding yours. Taking another deep breath, you put your other hand onto his shoulder and then you two started to dance a simple waltz. 

So this had been his plan. Instead of hiding your relationship, he showed everyone that you were his. And if anyone dared to touch or hurt you, they knew he would come and protect you. Twice, he hadn´t been able to do so, but from now on he would make sure nobody would ever hurt you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can´t believe I already wrote 30k words for this story... It´s incredible. Although it´s sad, I don´t think there are more than 3 other chapters to come before I will finish the story. But maybe I will write a few chapters for a new story that will also be Sev x reader! :) I don´t know yet, first I will finish this story!
> 
> and please leave a comment <3 <3


	9. chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen after the ball and after Severus revealed your relationship? What does that mean for you?  
> \---  
> A lot of lost and happy Sev. A lot of sadness, a lot of fluff.  
> words: 8,4k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god, guys, I´m so sorry to let you wait for so long! My holidays are over now and I really don´t had the time (again, pokemon and animal crossing.... it´s addicting). This is a long ass chapter and it took me so long to write... wow. I am SO happy to be able do upload this finally!! A lot of dry humor and sarcasm in this chapter!
> 
> Thank you so so so so so much for your comments, they make me so happy and are a huge motivation for me <3<3<3<3 
> 
> Today is a very special day, because it´s actually Sev´s birthday! So Happy Birthday, Sev. I hope you get a cake, wherever you may be <3

A blush spread across your cheeks as you two were dancing, everyone´s eyes on the moving couple in the middle of the great hall. How many minutes had passed? Time seemed to slowly tick away, ten seconds feeling like half an hour in this agony.

Finally, the waltz ended and Severus averted his gaze from you, striding out of the hall. For a moment you weren´t sure if you should go after him, but you really wanted to get out of this damn hall, away from everyone´s gazes. 

Hurriedly you followed him, almost having to run while the black haired professor took swift steps. Almost out of breathe, you arrived at the headmaster's office. Severus opened the door, not looking back as he entered. He´d left the door open, quickly going over into a rear part of the office. 

Confused, you entered and closed the door behind you, hearing the sound of his steps getting quieter. Panting a little, you took a moment to sit down.  
So everyone knew now. Severus Snape, the current headmaster of Hogwarts, had a pet. 

On one hand, you felt relieved because finally you didn´t have to keep a secret anymore. But, well… on the other hand, your relationship was still kind of illegal and probably a lot of rumours would go around Hogwarts. They would start gossiping and probably, a lot of people would start despising you. But they didn´t understand your situation. Severus was the man you loved and unfortunately, he was a lot older than you and additionally your teacher and headmaster. But this fact couldn´t change the love you felt for him. Why did nobody understand that?

You heard Severus´ steps getting louder again and he was returning to your part of the office, stopping in front of your chair. Immediately, you embraced your boyfriend in a hug, burying your face against his chest. You hadn´t seen him in a while and it had made you almost insane. 

“I missed you so much. I´m so sorry about the things I said last time, I know you can´t do something!” You almost sobbed, feeling much better now that you were in his arms again. 

As your boyfriend didn't return the hug, you looked up at his face, scared and worried. 

“Sev…?”

“(…), do you love me?”

The question surprised you and for a second you didn´t know what to do. You had told him a lot of times that you loved him, had he forgotten?

“Of course I do!”

Severus kept looking into your eyes though, not giving away any of his feelings or thoughts. 

“Tonight I made clear that you have my protection and… also my heart. Do not play with it.”

You looked down sadly, realizing that you hadn´t been the only one that had suffered. You had missed Sev so much and he too must´ve felt horrible lonely and betrayed as you had stopped visiting him. 

“I stayed away from you to not let you see what the Carrows did to me. You´re headmaster now, you have so many duties and responsibilities and also we still had to keep our relationship secret so I didn´t want to make everything worse. I still love you and it hurt not being able to see you. I missed you so much, Sev.”

Your voice cracked with your last sentence and tears formed in your eyes. You didn´t have much time though to start crying because you heard your boyfriend letting out a relieved sigh and then you were pressed against Severus´ chest and he embraced you in his arms. 

You gladly hugged him back this time. It felt so good to be back in his arms. All the time you had missed him so much and suffered in loneliness, but finally you were reunited. 

“I love you, Sev.” You sobbed out, willing to say it until there was not the tiniest doubt left. 

Severus held you tight, his face buried in your hair as he then stroked over your back. Had he been scared that you could´ve stopped loving him? Well, he also was the jealous type, so that could be the case. 

You pulled back slightly to look at him, a few tears streaming down your face. 

“I could never stop, do you hear me? I love you so much.” You put your hands on the sides of his face, looking deeply into his eyes to make sure to him that what you said was nothing but the truth. 

Severus´ eyes started to shine slightly and he pulled you closer, arms tightly wrapped around you as he pressed you to his chest, softly kissing all over your face. 

You softly cried out in joy of having him back, hugging him as tightly as you could and standing on your tiptoes. A smile pulled at the corners of your lover´s lips and he scooped you up with his arms under your butt, lifting you up slightly. It made you giggle and you finally were on the same eye level. 

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you leaned closer to kiss him. You had missed him so much in all this time and it made the kiss only sweeter. Severus moved his lips against yours and you opened your mouth so he could enter it with his tongue. The sensation of playing with his tongue with your own made a pleasing tingle spread through your whole body, from your fingertips to your toes. 

After a few minutes Severus pulled back, panting softly. His cheeks were slightly pink and his hair was slightly dishevelled. It made him look cute and hot at the same time and you leaned in for another kiss. 

When you eventually pulled back, Severus looked deeply into your eyes, still having scooped you up into his arms. As he started to speak, it soothed you to hear his voice which you had missed so much in the past. 

“I love you, (…). The reasons why I revealed our relationship are that I want to show everyone that I will protect you with my life, should someone ever dare to hurt you again.”

His words made you smile brightly and you rest your brow against his. It gave him the opportunity to look at your cleavage, black eyes shining and waves and bits of a world moving behind these orbs that you would never see. 

“You are still wearing the necklace.”

A small smile pulled at the corners of your lips and you raised your hand to let him examine it. 

“I also kept wearing the ring the whole time. It was hard, because I was remembered of you constantly but I didn´t want to forget you after all. I never could. Wearing them made me feel a little safer.”

Your boyfriend kept silent for a few moments and didn´t say anything. You wondered if he thought of your words or something else entire. His mind could look like a roller coaster or a stagnant pond, you would never know. And you doubted that you could figure out the mastermind that hid behind these beautiful orbs. 

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

This time, your lover didn´t hesitate with his answer.

“I want you to.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

The next day you went to your lessons, feeling quite unwell. How would your classmates treat you? Keeping your head down, you went into the classroom, not trying to glance at them. Your entering turned a few heads, and you heard slight whispering. With a sigh you sat down in the back.

Fortunately, you didn´t have a DADA lesson today. The other classes went by in a rush. You didn´t take notice of many things, except a few: The behaviour of the Professors had changed towards you. In muggle studies, Professor Carrow didn´t dare to punish you although you again refused to practice unforgivable curses. In fact, no Professor dared to punish you in any way, they kind of seemed to be a little scared of you. 

Not only the behaviours of the teachers had changed towards you, also the ones from the Slytherins. Either they showed some kind of respect towards you or despised you completely. 

The students kept their distance. You heard them whispering whenever you passed by and that made you very uncomfortable. Well, you couldn´t really be mad at them. A Professor, no, the headmaster had a pet! On top of that, he had wanted to show that to everyone. That, after all, was kind of strange, wasn´t it? So you could understand that they were whispering. You just hoped nobody would call you a slut. You were sure some of them did, but you hoped that the rest was too smart not to believe that. 

As you were entering the Gryffindor common room though, you could sense that everyone did their best to keep their distance from you. Taken aback from the sudden coldness, you stopped in the middle of the room. It made a few students look at you with a frown, some even tried to stare you down. Why were they angry? 

Some of your friends stood in a corner of the room, but even as they noticed your presence, they looked away again, behaving just like the rest.  
Right, they thought Snape was the bad guy. And of course, why wouldn´t they think that when he had killed Dumbledore, replaced him as headmaster and obviously worked for the Dark Lord?

And now they thought you were doing the same. Probably they guessed that you had did that for years without their knowing, with you only pretending to be their friend. 

Those thoughts let tears swell in your eyes and you turned around on your heels, storming out of the common room. 

You walked hastily through the hallways, balling your fists. You were angry, though you didn´t know why. Or at who. Whose fault was this? It wasn´t fair that you had to face all this hatred and despise. And it wasn´t fair that your boyfriend had to do so either. 

Before you knew, you were already standing in front of the headmaster´s office. You raised your hand to knock on the door, but to your surprise, it swung open before your fist could even touch it. 

Severus was standing a few steps away from the door, arms elegantly folded in front of his chest, covered in long black sleeves. His face showed slight worry, apart from that it, like always, did not give away what was going on inside of him. 

“May I assume by your appearance that you weren´t treated nicely?”

His dry comment made you laugh out shortly, but you knew he was only worried about you. Taking a few steps into the room, you let yourself fall down onto the old couch. The leather felt cold against your limbs and you instinctively pulled your legs up onto it as well.

Severus took note of that, black eyes not leaving you out of their sight. With an elegant motion he walked around the couch to where you sat and pulled his cloak from his shoulders, laying it on you like a blanket, while you tried to explain why you were here. 

“Well, I was indeed treated nicely by the Professors but…” You bit your lip, scared to make your boyfriend feel guilty when you told him that you were receiving hatred because of his decision to show your relationship to everyone. 

You took the chance and took his hand and after a moment Severus got the hint and sat down next to you.  
You avoided his gaze, looking down while you could feel his gaze still on you. 

“Go on.” Your lover said, waiting with a patience - which he only had for you and his potions - for you to speak.

“Well, I… it just makes me feel uncomfortable, Sev. My last year at Hogwarts wasn´t supposed to look like that. The school is run by death eaters and… everything’s so different than the Hogwarts I know and… as much as I love you, I wished you wasn´t my headmaster.”

The reality of these words hit you again right after you spoke them. All of the feelings kept crashing down on you suddenly. The months of secrecy, the constant fear to be discovered, the avoiding of each other whenever you were in the wizarding world. It was over now. But since Severus had told the world you were his girlfriend, there was no turning back. You had a lot of new problems and it felt like they were a lot harder than the old ones. 

You had to face hatred on a daily bases, being avoided by your own house. Your other Professors, although they didn´t do you any harm, punished you with a contemptuous gaze. Well, you had a relationship with one of their colleagues. 

And then, there was your age. You would soon turn 18, but the love of your life was still 15 years older than you. 

The built up frustration you had felt while leaving the common room came back to you now and it made you bury your face in your hands.  
Severus didn´t hesitate and pulled you into his embrace. Gladly you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face against his chest.  
How did he manage to make you feel so safe by simply holding you in his arms?

“Sev, did you never, well… regret my age?”

He didn´t answer right away and you could feel that he took a deep breath.

“I have no power about your age. Of course, I would prefer it if you weren´t my student. Yet… I have deep feelings for you. You´re not a student for me. I see you simply as a human being, just like myself. Your age, although it was better if you were older, doesn´t matter to me. Only you do.”

Through all the worry and frustration, a smile came upon your face as you heard his words. Looking at him, you saw his beautiful dark eyes that looked down on you, warmly. There even was a small smile on his face. You had noticed that he smiled very often when he talked about you or his feelings for you. It made you unbelievably proud. 

Leaning forwards, you gave him a soft kiss and your boyfriend immediately responded, lovingly moving his lips against yours. As you pulled back your fingers found the tips of his hair and you played with it carefully. You knew Sev didn´t like having someone touch his hair at all but he didn´t snap for doing it.

In his usual manner, he raised one of his eyebrows and of course you knew the question he wanted you to answer. A small chuckle left your throat and you cupped his cheek. 

“Don´t worry, your age is not a problem for me, either. Well… of course it would be better if you weren´t that much older - I mean, what will my family say when they find out?- but you are the way you are and I don´t want to change a thing about that.”

A smile etched onto Sev´s face and it made you happy to see that your words had cheered him up. You two leaned closer and shared a few loving kisses.  
“I love you” Severus said and it warmed your heart to hear those words from him. Every time, they managed to make you so happy, make you believe you could do literally anything if only he was at your side. 

Your kisses soon started out to be more passionate and your fingers found his hair again. Rough though, they raked through it this time and you softly cried out as Severus bit your lip and turned you on your back, hovering over you like a dangerous shadow. 

Because of all the stuff happening, you hadn´t been able to be intimate with each other for a few weeks and you could tell by how his hands roamed your hips that he was just as keen on ripping off every piece of clothing from your bodys as you were. 

Just as your lover was kissing down your chin to your jaw and down your throat, a low gong could be heard. Confused, you opened your eyes, stopping in your movements to look at the big clock that had been the culprit of disturbing you. 

An annoyed sigh left Severus´ throat. 

“That was the bell for dinner. I – We -… have to go.”

A whine left your throat, not wanting to give up your just regained closeness. 

“Can´t we just cancel dinner?”

Severus looked at you and let out a sigh. When he was looking at you like that, you really felt like a small child next to him. 

“My plan was only to disclose our relationship, not to let the whole school imagine what we did, wouldn´t we have dinner. And also, if you won´t show up, they´re going to think I would keep you locked in here. Having a relationship with my student is the only crime that I want to have on my account.” 

With a swift motion he rose from the old couch and strode over to the door. Before he could pass through it, you stopped him in his tracks, turning him around and leaning in for a passionate and deep kiss, not willing to let him enter his public role as headmaster without your support.  
As Severus pulled back, he had a smirk playing on his face and with his usual elegance, he went off to dinner with you.

.-.-.-

You sat down at the Gryffindor table in the great hall. To your surprise, your fellow Gryffindors didn´t keep distance like they did only a few hours ago. Probably they felt a bit guilty since they had seen you almost breaking out into tears in the common room. Happy about that, you loaded a ton of food onto your plate. Afterwards your eyes darted over to the Professors table, making sure that your boyfriend would also eat. Gladly, you noticed that Severus had already started doing so. 

Not wanting to seem too obvious, you kept your eyes mostly at the Gryffindor table for the rest of dinner. It could have been such a peaceful meal, though suddenly, the doors flung open with a loud bang. 

Everyone in the hall fell silent and tried to spot the person that stood there in the entrance, wand in his hand, looking exhausted but determined. It was Harry. 

With quick steps he strode into the middle of the great hall between the student´s long tables, glaring at a particular person on the Professors table. Cold, dark eyes looked back at him, though no one could see what the other man thought. Standing up with his usual elegance, Severus went around the table to step up to Harry, though he kept about 10 metres distance. 

Harry seemed to be really angry and you instantly became scared at that. He didn´t want to hurt Severus…right?  
Harry clenched his fists, taking a few steps forwards.

“How dare you stand where he stood?”

His voice was filled with anger and it made you sit bolt upright on your chair, being frozen in slight panic as you watched the scene in front of you. Instinctively you grabbed around the ring from Severus´ mother, trying to support your boyfriend this way. 

You could see that Severus kept clam though, but you could tell that he was preparing for a fight. And then Harry pointed his wand at Severus, yelling a spell. A blue light sparked from his wand and flew with an enormous speed in Severus´ direction and you almost let out a loud cry but could move your hand over your mouth in time to stop the noise, though the black haired wizard blocked the spell with a simple wave of his wand. 

Although relieved, you still sat bolt upright on your chair, eyes widened in shock as you felt completely useless. That couldn´t happen. The love of your life was getting attacked. That simply couldn´t be true. Were you dreaming? 

To everyone´s surprise, McGonagall appeared behind Harry, pointing her wand also at Severus. You hadn´t even noticed her before, but you could see that it was getting serious by the cold expression that came onto your boyfriends face. Hesitating, he also pointed his wand at her and you could see that he was really averse to it. 

Why did they do this? Did they really believe that Severus was a bad guy? Even McGonagall! But Hogwarts was full of death eaters right now, Severus couldn´t let it shine through that he secretly was on Harry´s side. 

Taking a few steps forwards and positioning herself, McGonagall then waved her wand, casting a spell without a word. Angry red sparks flew to Severus and he blocked them with a move of his wand, though you could tell that he didn´t handle it as easily this time.  
Harry and the professor together weren´t easy to fight. The both of them tried to attack him was their spells, and even though nobody came to help your boyfriend, he only blocked their spells, not trying to hurt them.  
Why couldn´t they see that he was on the good side?

He had to take a few steps back while he was still under attack and you couldn´t hold back anymore. This time, you had to try and save him.  
Just as you stood up, Harry disarmed your lover and his wand flew behind him, hitting the ground with a hard sound. Shock was written on his face as he realized that he stood there without magic, without a force to protect himself.

“Sev!” You cried out, right now nothing kept you from putting yourself in danger for your love. He had to be protected or your life wouldn´t be worth anything without him. 

Very bravely, you stepped in front of Severus, running, almost tripping, shielding him from any harm. Everyone seemed to be confused by that and Harry let his wand sink. Attacking other students simply wasn´t part of his moral and you were a part of Dumbledore´s Army. He knew that you were on the good side. He wouldn´t attack you. Also McGonagall hesitated for a bit. It gave you time to raise your wand and to quickly whisper a spell. 

“Accio Severus´ wand!” 

Your boyfriend quickly snapped it from the air as it came flying towards you and wrapped his other arm tightly around your waist, pulling you backwards until your back met his stronger form. Instantly, thick black smoke surrounded you and you could feel yourself dissolving, no, becoming part of the dark fog as you were lifted off the ground and smashed through one of the big windows, still feeling Severus´ arm around your waist and the presence of his body.  
It felt like a dream as you could see that you were flying away from Hogwarts, smoke blocking your sight partly. Then it covered you entirely and you heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing. 

.-.-.-.

The next thing you heard was loud noise coming from every direction around you. Quickly opening your eyes, you tried taking in all of your surroundings at once and you felt like a performer on stage, the thick dark curtain had just been lifted, now presenting the whole world to you. 

It took you a second to notice that you were standing on a train station, in the middle of a busy crowd. People rushed by, some of them shoved you a little but didn´t pay much attention otherwise. Trains were leaving and entering the station, making loud noises and the air was filled with conversations of the people around you and a ton of different smells and sounds. 

Then you remembered and spun around, where the hell was Severus? You spotted him standing a few steps away from you, standing out from the crowd in his black robes like a raven in a horde of busy pigeons.

You shot a compassionate glance his way, though he wasn´t noticing it. His gaze was focused on a lonely penny that shimmered on the ground. People stepped on it or simply rushed by, no one acknowledging his worth, or simply no one deemed it worthy enough to stop by and pick it up.  
It was a sad imagine, seeing him simply stand there and for once forget his surroundings. Taking a few steps forwards, you stood in front of him, worry prominent in your voice. 

“Sev?” You whispered out his name and his gaze snapped at you as if you´d violently woken him up from a slumber.  
He had been banished from Hogwarts. From the place, that he had called home for decades. The place, where he had lost his heart and returned to, only after a few years, to stay. 

His face didn´t give away any of his thoughts but you knew he was feeling sad so you took his hand into yours and leaned at his shoulder. You tried showing him that you gave him the same support he gave you. 

You were willing to risk your life for the sake of his, your love for him being stronger than any hatred, or despise, or scandal. Severus Snape, the man in front of you, was the one that had your heart. And not even he himself could change that. 

Letting out a sigh, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you cupped his cheek as you softly turned his head down to you, placing a soft kiss onto his lips. The tall man pulled you closer and returned the gesture, afterwards resting his brow against yours.  
You had never seen him this vulnerable, this light-headed. No matter how hard he tried to hide his feelings, right now you could see them in his eyes. They were a mirror of the soul after all, how someone had once said. And right now, Severus was bleeding in despair, asking himself where he belonged to, to which side he belonged to.

Actually, he was bleeding for real. You noticed some stains on his shoulder through a big slit in his robe, probably caused by splinters, and fragments of broken glass on his coat. When had he gotten injured? It must´ve been the window! You remembered feeling only a dull impact as you had crashed through it. Severus had once more shielded you from danger and had received all of the harm himself.  
Worriedly you looked up at him. 

“Your shoulder… You´re injured.”

The noise didn´t matter. The people didn´t matter. You felt the need to protect him from this place, from everyone at all. You already wanted to pull out your wand and treat the wound since Severus didn´t react at all, but then you remembered that you were standing on a train station, surrounded by muggles.  
You had to find a solution, quickly, before this situation got out of hand. Spotting a coffee shop only a few metres away, you took his hand and softly pulled him along with you, making him sit down into one of the small chairs as you went straightly up to the waitress and asked for a very strong coffee. 

.-.-.

As Severus looked up from the dirty, dust-filled grooves of the small coffee shop table, he saw the blurry figure of his girlfriend, standing only a few metres away and talking to a woman that was probably a waitress. 

Where was he? At first, he had wanted to apparate to diagon alley. But the whole world thought of him as a death eater now. Nobody would try and help him. So the first thing that had come to his mind was a muggle place, a train station. Like the one where he used to take the train to Hogwarts.  
Hogwarts… It had been his home for so many years. Severus´ gaze darted down onto the table again, forgetting the world around him and only listening to the waves and voices inside his head. Even Minerva had pointed her want at him. What should he do now? 

The order felt betrayed by him since he´d killed Dumbledore. Apart from that, no one had ever liked him and the only reason the others trusted him had been the man that Severus had killed with his owns hands.  
No, they could have never trusted him otherwise. They didn´t like him. Not even the other Professors in Hogwarts had liked him. Could he list even five people that were happy to see him…?

Severus eyes seemed to darken even further and he stared at the grooves, his mind moving behind his eyes in an enormous speed although everything around him seemed to be so slow.

That was when he felt a tug in the left pocket of his jacket. At first he wasn´t sure if he´d only imagined it but he managed to raise his hand, heavy and slow, to fish inside his pocket. 

A tiny piece of paper what Severus couldn’t recall putting there was inside the pocket. Unfolding it, there were quick, small words written, staring back at the black haired wizard with glossy ink. 

“The Order wants to see you” 

The potions master narrowed his eyes. He read the words over and over again, but they made no sense in his muzzy mind. 

No sense at all.

.-.-.-.

Fishing into your pocket, you were more than relieved to find some muggle money in it and paid the waitress as soon as she returned with the coffee. She looked a bit confused that you were paying right away but it didn´t matter the slightest to you. 

Severus looked like a picture of misery, staring down onto his hands with an empty gaze. You placed the cup in front of him onto the table and he slowly seemed to come back to reality as he took it and drank. 

Relieved, you let yourself sink into one of the chairs next to him, ignoring the gazes other people shot at you. The thought of how two must look to them made you giggle. You really were an odd couple. Fetching a few of the napkins that were placed on each table, you tried to tend to his wound. Fortunately, his coat had taken most of the glass splinters and he only had a few wounds. Though from what you could see without taking his clothes off, his skin shone red from where his body had met the window. Hopefully his bones were okay. 

Wondering about his wounds had made you forget about the coffee and with surprise you saw that he had emptied the cup. As his eyes met yours, you could see that composure had returned to him as well and you let out a relieved sigh.  
He stood up, placing the empty cup back onto the table. 

“We must go.”

You also stood up and for a second you weren´t sure if he had completely recovered but then he took your hand and all the worries vanished from your mind. Hand in hand, you searched for an empty place in the huge train station.  
As you were walking, Severus pulled you tighter towards him and laid his hand, which had been holding yours, around your waist. It made you smile up to him and although he didn´t look back at you, you could see that a small smirk etched on his lips.

“Did you enjoy the coffee?”

“It was the worst thing I´ve ever drank.”

You laughed out softly. 

“It was supposed to wake you up.”

“Then it served its purpose well.”

You chuckled and the two of you ended up getting onto a train. As you entered a compartment that was empty, Severus pulled out his wand. Before he apparated with you, he pulled you closer by grabbing into your Hogwarts uniform and crushed his lips onto yours.  
The kiss was sweet and you never wanted it to end, passionately moving your lips against his. A soft blush had settled onto your cheeks as you moved back and Severus raised his hand to stroke a strand of hair out of your face.  
His eyes told you more than words ever could and you smiled at him. 

“You are not asking where we´re headed.” 

“That´s because it doesn´t matter as long as you´re with me.”

It made your lover smile and he put his wand back into his pocket, lifting you up and swirling you around, then setting you back down and you two shared a series of soft and loving kisses. 

“Why can´t I never get enough of you?” He muttered silently as you pulled back, but you heard it, smiling brightly at him. 

You felt how the train started moving and then Severus pulled out his wand, his other arm tightly wrapped around you and then he apparated. 

.-.-.

You hadn´t noticed that it was already dark outside as you were standing in a secluded alley. Before you was a row of houses, standing neatly together. You could see people behind the windows, sitting in the brightly lit rooms and chatting, whispering, laughing. 

Severus took your hand and pulled you softly forwards, being a step ahead of you as he made forwards. Suddenly, the row split in the middle and formed a new house. The bricks cracked as they took in their new place and you worried that Severus may bump into the wall before the door had finished forming with his speed. But you arrived at it just as the new house had finished and now stood there just as silent and ordinary as the rest. 

Wand in his hands, Severus opened the door and quickly pulled you inside, not letting you have another second of admiring the new building any further.  
You were standing inside a dark and shabby flat. Old paintings hung at the walls, their residents long gone to a brighter place. 

It was poky and you were sure if you stretched out your arms you could touch the walls with the tips of your fingers. From above you, muffled voices were heard but the suddenly went silent.  
You didn´t dare to say something but you noticed that Severus had pulled his arm from your waist and had stiffened up, his knitted brow letting you know that the situation was rather serious. 

With his wand he touched the wall three times and it made a loud sound, as if he wanted to knock. Steps were heard and it sounded like someone came down the stairs. Someone? No, at least two people. 

“Severus!”

The sudden rather loud voice in this quiet building let you almost jump. It sounded rather welcoming but you weren´t sure if you could trust it by the way your boyfriend pressed his lips tightly together. 

A man came walked up to you, a smirk on his face which you couldn´t decide was friendly or leery. You had seen this man on placards before, it was Sirius Black. Behind him, there was another one. You also knew him, because he had been your former DADA Professor, Remus Lupin. 

“The order hasn´t seen you in a while.”

Black said, but he sounded as if he already knew the reason. 

“I was…busy.” Severus said, his cold voice almost making you nervous. 

Professor Lupin was glancing your way and you lowered your gaze. Damn, he knew that you were a student. What would he say if he found out about your relationship? He had also been your teacher. This situation was really awkward. 

“And I see you brought….” Black glanced your way, a smile on his face that you could finally trust in being friendly. He couldn´t quite finish his sentence, his gaze darting back at Severus who opened his mouth to say something, probably to tell a lie, but someone answered for him. 

“…your girlfriend.” Professor Lupin said, making a slight blush spread across your cheeks. A little nervous, you glanced at Severus but his face was as emotional as a stone. Sometimes, you were jealous at his ability of not giving away his thoughts. Because right now, you were sure everyone could see that you felt awkward, unknowingly shifting from one foot to another and a dark blush prominent on your cheeks. 

Black´s gaze darted between you and Severus, mouth slightly agape in an expression of shock. 

“….What? Our Snivellus has a girlfriend?!” 

“Don´t call me like that!” Your boyfriend snapped at Black in a harsh tone and for a second he reminded you of an angry, dangerous dog. But like, a very cute dog. You didn´t like to see that it obviously hurt your love and you kind of felt the need to try and protect him from them but you didn´t, since it would obviously only end up in them making more fun of him.  
To your relief, in this moment a female voice called from upstairs. 

“Boys, will you get back to dinner?” 

The two man sighed softly. “I´ve got the feeling she is kind of confusing us with her children…” Professor Lupin said and turned around to go upstairs. Black also did, but not without glancing at you for a last time before going upstairs. You looked at Severus and he only sighed and looked at you, raising his hand and stroking over your hair in a loving gesture, then also going upstairs. You followed, being curious what would await you there.  
You went up into a small corridor. One of the doors stood open and and you entered after Severus. Immediately, you were greeted by a very nice woman with red hair that was almost pulling you into a hug. 

.-.-.-.

Severus sat down at the large table. Everything inside this house was made out of dark, dry wood. That´s not for him. The half-blood prince preferred lacquered wood or stone.

By the face of Molly that was hugging his girl right now he could see that Remus had kept silent about their relationship. How fortunate. If the woman knew she surely wouldn´t approve… 

“Good evening, my dear! I´m Molly and I see you´ve already met Sirius and Remus. They didn´t scare you too much, did they? Well, probably not as much as Severus already did.”

Luckily Molly didn´t sense the pained expression in the smile that his girlfriend shot at her and halfway at Severus. The red haired woman continued to talk about the boys and pulled her into the kitchen. 

No matter how much he loved her, Severus wouldn´t want to take the place of his girlfriend right now.  
Then he noticed how Remus leaned over to him. “I told her that she´s a new member of the Order and we´ll take her in because it was Harry´s will. Actually, it was.”

At the last sentence, a frown got onto the potions master´s face. ´Potter, what are you planning with my girlfriend? The next time I´ll see you I won´t hold back with counter spells…´ The black eyed man was lost in thoughts about Remus´ words that he completely forget to ask a very important question.  
“You´re probably wondering how that note came into your pocket today.”

Severus´ gaze shot up at Remus. “Correct.”

From the corner of his eyes he could see that Sirius had started stuffing his face with food that laid on the table, not really wanting to chat with his childhood “friend”. 

“Well… We really thought you´d changed sides after what happened after you… well, after what happened in the tower. But we have our spies on Hogwarts and they told us that you didn´t give important information to you-know-who. And you also didn´t attack Harry as you had the chance.”  
“Although we all know you want to…” muttered Sirius, mouth full with pumpkin pie.

Remus just ignored him and went on.

“We didn´t tell him yet that we believe you´re still on our side. But I´m sure the boy will trust us.”

The news didn´t quite please Severus but he nodded, afterwards trying to sit as far away from the other men as possible. They were his childhood bullies after all. Just because was on the same side didn´t mean that he would sorely enjoy poisoning their morning drinks.  
To Severus´ displeasure, Sirius turned towards him after he´d swallowed, a serious look on his gaze.

“Let´s get to the real talk now. How did YOU manage to get a hold of SUCH a girl? Be honest: It was love potion, right?”

Remus burst out into laughter and Severus glared at him, sighing annoyedly.

“For what reason should I try make one of my students drink love potion? If it was in my power, I would have obviously chosen a woman in a more suitable age.”

Sirius almost choked on another bike he´d taken from the pie.

“She is your STUDENT? For God´s sake, Severus!”

The man spoken of let out an angry snarl. Damn, he hadn´t wanted to give that piece of information to Sirius, just to make sure that he hadn´t used any potions on her! To his surprise, Remus came to save him. 

“I know (…) from my lessons. She is a very smart girl and I think she knows exactly what she´s doing. Are you sure she is not doing it because of… well, her grades?”

At this point Severus wished looks could kill, because right now he was furious. How dare he say something nasty like that? Of course, at the start of their relationship he had asked himself the same. Why should a lovely young girl even look at an old, greasy-haired Professor like him? But with time he had learnt to trust her. And he still did. 

Before Severus could give one of his harsh answers, his girlfriend came back into the room, without Molly, and shot him a smile. It instantly melted away all of his anger. Well, most of it. 

The half-blood prince stood up, glad to have found an escape from the other men, and walked towards her. His girlfriend didn´t see the two men though that did their best at keeping silent because they had been talking about her a few seconds ago. She thought that they had already returned to their quarters and with how they were sitting, the room divider that parted the kitchen from the dining room shielded them from her view. 

With a loving gaze she looked up at her boyfriend, taking his hand into hers and smiling to herself. She probably was happy to be able to spend some time calmly with her boyfriend, away from other students or Professors - Lupin didn´t teach at Hogwarts anymore – and finally away from all of the death eaters.  
Severus shot a small smile back at her and made to leave the dining room, though to his surprise his girlfriend stopped him by going onto her tiptoes and putting a loving kiss onto his lips. 

At first, Severus was shocked because he knew that someone was watching but after he thought about it for a second, it wasn´t maybe that bad. He genuinely smiled at her and walked together with her out of the dining room, head held high.

To his liking he noticed from the corners of his eyes that Sirius and Remus sat there with their mouths agape and their eyes wide in disbelief. 

Sometimes, revenge was long in coming.

.-.-.-.-.

Molly had showed you where you could sleep and you and Severus quickly had gotten into bed, saying that you were already tired. Of course Severus slept in another room than you. 

Though as the lights were out, you tiptoed out of your chamber, door creaking as you entered the room of your boyfriend. You heard blankets move as you sneaked to the bed in the middle of the room that was lit by the soft light of the moon. 

Arms stretched out, you tried to make out by touch where the bed started. Not really to your surprise, you were greeted by a pair of hands before your fingertips could even reach the bed and were pulled into it by strong arms that embraced you. 

Giggling softly, you nuzzled into the neck of your captor, skin warm as a heater. Smiling because of the warmth, you let out a relaxed sigh. A hand came to stroke over your hair.

“I thought you would never come.”

Your boyfriend put a light kiss onto your forehead. 

“That´s only because you waited for it the whole time!” You said and giggled, relishing the presence of your lover. 

It felt so good to cuddle with him under a warm blanket and soon you both drifted off to sleep, it had been a tough day after all. Legs tangled and tightly embraced you soundly lied next to each other, sleeping off the stress from the past days. 

.-.-.-.-.

“Good morning, Professor Lupin” You said shyly as you entered the kitchen. It was early in the morning and sleep still stood written on both of your faces.  
“You can call me Remus, (…).” Your former Professor said with a smile. You had always liked him and although the idea made you feel a little uncomfortable, you nodded. In your head you silently prayed that he wouldn´t try to ask a question about your relationship.  
Being in thoughts, you didn´t hear how another man entered the room. 

“Is breakfast ready?”

You almost jumped as you turned around violently and faced Black. The voice had scared you since you hadn´t heard him enter. The man let out a dirty but kind laugh and Remus had to smile softly. 

“Slept well, Sirius?”

The other man shook his head, though shot a bright smile to his friend who sat down at a chair to red the daily prophet. Then he came to look at you. With all your might you tried not to gulp in this exact moment, biting your lip softly. 

“H-hello.”

Sirius smirk got bigger since your voice must sound really shy and small. 

“I think I haven’t introduced myself yet, I´m Sirius.”

Shooting him a small smile, you nodded and told him your name. You thought Sirius was a good man, he was just a bit scary at first. Although you knew that he and Remus had been Severus´ childhood bullies, how Severus had once told you, you believed they had changed now. They seemed to have grown up. At least Remus had. Sirius came to look at what you prepared right now, chuckling. 

“May I…” Hesitating, he shot a glance over at Remus who looked at him with a stern expression over the edge of his newspaper, challenging him not to say something unsuitable. Then his warm eyes darted back at you. “…ask if Severus is your boyfriend, for real?”

You almost had to chuckle from the curiousness that shone from his eyes and you looked at the ground as you had to smile only at the thought of Severus.  
Sirius scratched his neck, gaze also averted. “Don´t get me wrong. I just… well, our Severus never had a girlfriend before and…”

The sentence would never be finished though you knew what he wanted to say. Curiously, he looked back at you and you looked directly into his eyes and nodded. That was answer enough for Sirius and he turned around. 

“Sorry for asking. I was just curious.”

“I could see that.” You giggled and Remus had to laugh softly.  
Finally you were finished with the thing you had prepared and let out a small sigh. It had been really difficult to prepare it under these circumstances, but you had managed. And you were sure your boyfriend would like it. 

.-.-.-.-.

Severus laid in his bed, only a few of his hairs moving by the breath he was letting out continuously. A frown pulled at his face as his arms felt empty. Something was missing. You. 

Opening his eyes tiredly, Severus looked around to notice that you were nowhere to be found. Looking at the clock on the left side next to his bed, he saw that it was already almost noon. He guessed that his girlfriend has just not wanted to wake him up since she always said he looked cute when he was sleeping. 

Getting ready he stepped in front of a tiny mirror, rubbing his eyes to drive the sleep out of them. 

“Maybe I´m getting old…” He muttered and stopped right in his tracks. ´Old? ´ The usually so bright wizard had the thought that he´d forgotten something. But right now it didn´t seem to be more important than to find his girlfriend before Sirius or Remus did. 

Opening the doors of the dining room, everything was silent. Shouldn´t they already be in the kitchen because of dinner or very late breakfast? As Severus entered the room though, he saw something he had never seen before in his life. 

On the table stood a small but gorgeous looking cake in his favourite flavours – dark chocolate and mint – and on top, between a few decorations, stood his name on a card in silver letters.

That was when he noticed his girlfriend coming from the kitchen and giggling at the obviously overwhelmed expression of her boyfriend. 

“Happy Birthday, Sev.” She said and smiled lovingly up at him, hugging him and kissing the side of his face lightly. After the shock had subsided softly, the potions master started to smile softly. This had never happened before. The mighty wizard was so overwhelmed in –what was the word? Severus struggled to think. Ah, yes. – in joy, that he didn´t even notice that the corners of his mouth turned upwards. In the presence of other people than his girlfriend he was careful with smiles. 

“You did that for me…”

“Of course I did! It´s your birthday!”

“….did you do that to remind me of my age?”

“Don´t be silly, Sevy. I did it because I want you to be happy on your birthday. And now sit down and eat that cake because I spent three hours preparing it!”

Not daring to argue with her, the black haired man sat down and started to eat his first birthday cake in a very long time. Spending this special day with his girlfriend, safely and calmly, was probably the greatest wish someone could grant him. Oh, what would he do without her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you like it? Actually, I wanted to make it even longer but I had to stop somewhere to upload :`D  
> I don´t wanna let Sirious come across as mean, actually a lot of things he says are meant sarcastic. A lot of dry humor in this, sorry not sorry :DD
> 
> Leave a comment <3<3<3


	10. chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You enjoy your time at Grimmauld Place...  
> WARNING: Smut and cliff hanger at the end (I know. I hate myself for it XD)  
> words: 6,6k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, this is the last but one chapter. I know I know, I´m just as sad as you are T__T ANd I´m sorry this took so long!
> 
> I wanna thank you for all the kudos and comments that you´ve left me here <3 <3 <3 They make me sooooo happy <3 
> 
> And now enjoy the chapter~

Severus had eaten a few slices of the cake. His birthday cake. It was almost unbelievable. But there it was, looking yummy and delicious right in front of him. Had he ever gotten a birthday cake before? 

Still now, he looked gaping at the sweet before him on the plate. The potion´s master wasn´t known to have a sweet tooth. Sometimes, he had bought some dark chocolate for himself, pleased that it tasted as bitter as he felt, but no one had seen him enjoying sugar before. 

But he wasn´t feeling bitter anymore. Due to his girlfriend, his feelings had changed. Where there once had been bitterness and grudge, there now was love and affection that he felt for her. She had helped him getting out of his long-term depression, making him believe that he had, indeed, earned the same amount of love and affection that he held for her. 

The black haired man felt the corners of his mouth turn into a smile as he saw his girlfriend return to the kitchen. By the look of it, she seemed pleased to see that he had eaten parts of the cake. In the past she had said a few times that she thought he was too thin and that he needed to gain a little weight.  
She sat down next to him and leaned her head onto his shoulder.

“Eat another piece, Sevy, you lost a few pounds after we returned to Hogwarts…”

Apparently she wanted to change that by stuffing cake into him.

Letting out a soft sigh, the black eyed man took another slice of the cake onto his plate, while he couldn´t supress another small smile. He liked being cared for, even if he didn´t show it as much. 

His girlfriend wrapped her arms around him and pecked his cheek. Severus raised his eyebrow slightly and shot a questioning gaze at her. They had agreed on only being affectionate to each other in the bedroom, since Molly could take note of their relationship. 

“She returned home. Probably wants to fetch her family.”

Severus nodded softly. On one hand, that meant that they didn´t have to hide their relationship in this house till Molly returned. On the other hand, she would return with her whole family, the Weasley kids and Harry and his friends, and Severus wasn´t too fond of the idea of sharing a house with them.  
To make his girlfriend happy, he ate another two pieces of the cake. It was better not to argue with her. She waited eagerly till he had finished and then suddenly sat onto his lap. 

Although surprised, a big grin appeared on Sev´s face and his hands found the sides of her hips as she leaned forwards and put loving kisses onto his neck. The sweet sensation made the black haired man almost shake violently and he gripped onto her tighter. He wanted her closer, hear her rapid breathing and feel her small hands holding onto his shoulders while he stripped off her shirt and let his hands roam over her delicious body, over every curve and bit of silky-soft skin and… He had spaced out. 

Looking up, the black eyed man could see his girlfriend staring back at him with a wide grin and he leaned forwards till she was almost buried underneath his larger form on the table. With a smug grin he drew closer to her ear. There was no doubt that Severus was turned on. 

“I`m going to have you right now.”

His words sounded sharp but passionate and it made his girlfriend bite her lip and look up at him, agreeing completely. 

She did her best to conceal her movements as she squeezed her legs together, but Severus took note of it, a smirk plastered onto his face. 

“Sev…” It was his birthday after all and Severus had told his girlfriend that the two other men it the house were his former school-bullies. It was pay-back  
day. “Make them hear me scream your name.”

She didn´t have to tell him twice. Plunging at her like a wolf to its prey, Severus pressed a passionate kiss onto her lips which was returned by a soft sigh and an embrace that brought their bodies closer together. 

His semi-long hair tickled her neck softly as it hung down, a jet black strand escaping the bunch and coming to cover his cheek. They pulled back to gasp for air and her hand found the side of his face, pushing the wild strand back behind his ear before connecting their lips in another heated kiss. 

Severus supported himself with his hands on the edge of the wooden table, taking a glance to the side, he though noticed the cake and his plate still standing next to them, dangerously close. He started fiddling with his robes, pulling out his wand and waving it hastily into the direction of the food, making it lift itself up and settle down onto the kitchen counter. By now, long slender fingers had buried into soft waves of hair, the wand lying next to them, forgotten, since their attention was focused elsewhere.

The black haired man couldn´t remember a time when he´d wanted her so bad. Well, he remembered those times when she had worn this short skirt and then leaned over a table in front of him. He knew she had only done that for him, back then. Or that one time she had worn this tight shirt and the sight of it had made his fingers itch to grab her two lovely – oh! Being lost in thoughts like that had woken up some special body part of the mighty wizard. 

Severus did his best to not let it press violently into her, he didn´t want to be rude after all, but a little friction would feel so good. Just at that, the black haired man felt small hands pull down his pants and palm his erection. The potions master welcomed the sweet sensation and took that as an invitation to also explore her body. 

Severus started to lovingly kiss down her neck as his hands went up her hips to push her shirt and bra upwards, letting her breasts bounce merrily into his hands. He grabbed them greedily and kneaded the beautiful mounds as a big smirk came onto his face. 

With pleasure, Severus noted that his girlfriend also seemed to like his touch. Her eyebrows furrowed and she let out a gasp as he circled her nipples with his thumbs. The last time he had seen a beautiful coloured mark on her skin was too far in the past, so the potions master proceeded with softly biting and marking her tender skin. 

His girlfriend leaned her head back to let it rest on the table while her hand slipped under the waistband of his underwear, giving his erection a good squeeze. 

“L-lean back” She said, voice shaking softly from the enjoyment of the situation. 

A little surprised, the black haired man leaned back onto his seat, watching with vigilant eyes how his girlfriend brushed her now messy hair back with her hands and them jumped down from the table and grabbed a pillow from one of the chairs, kneeling onto it in front of her boyfriend. Severus watched her with steadily growing anticipation as she finally smirked up at him. 

The black haired man narrowed his eyes only a tiny bit, hoping she would do what he wanted to her to do so badly right now. With a big smirk, she raised both of her hands to his knees and pushed them apart, positioning herself in front of his almost painfully erect desire. 

The tips of her fingers started to rub circles into his thigh, sending tiny sparks of enjoyment through his body. Severus was getting impatient but he knew there was no use in rushing her so he waited, licking his lips softly and closing his eyes as he felt her hands creep up his thighs, massaging the delicate skin on their way and as they were only inches parting them from his groin, a warm mouth closed itself around his tip. Opening his eyes just a little, he saw how his girlfriend took his hard erection in, bobbing her head and using her hands to stroke and tease him. 

A few gasps left the throat of the black haired man and then her tongue came to swirl around his tip, nudging and licking and treating him ever so lovely. His hand found the back of her head and he buried his slender fingers into her locks and let out a groan as she leaned forwards to take him into her mouth and suck. 

Right now, he couldn´t care less if Remus or Sirius were eavesdropping. Looking down, he watched his girlfriend working on him, her swollen lips moving and her eyes shimmering. Severus had to control himself not to buck his hips right now. Oh she looked so beautiful and hot right now. The pleasure spread through his whole body and the mighty wizard leaned his head back as another wave rolled over him. With a groan, his grip onto her head got tighter and he softly urged her to take more of him. Breathy moans left the pale throat of the tall man and he licked his dry lips. 

With the last bit of sanity between the waves of pleasure before it took completely over, he forced himself to pull her head backwards and look into her eyes before. 

“G-get onto that.” He ordered and nodded with his head into the direction of the table. He was getting impatient to feel the warmth around him again, not pleased with being exposed to the cold air. 

She lied with her stomach on the table and leaned over it, and Severus stood up, positioning himself behind her. He was still panting softly from the amount of pleasure that she´d given him and now he wanted to grant her back. 

His skilled fingers went between her legs and she spread them slightly as he started to rub her. Small whimpers escaped her throat. But that was not enough for him. He let his slender fingers massage and pinch her clit, letting them dive into her and quickly thrusted them in and out while he softly stroked himself. By how wet she already was he could tell that she was really turned on. Letting out louder whimpers and whines, his girl started rocking her hips back at him, gripping onto the edge of the table to support herself. He pushed the hem of her skirt over her hips and slapped her butt with a quick motion. 

“Stop that.”

Whimpering, she stopped her movements and was rewarded for it seconds later as the black haired man added a few fingers into her, stretching her enough to be ready to take him without pain. Her head sunk down onto the table and she moaned, pleading him to take her now. Her words put a big grin onto Severus´ face and then he grabbed her hips, positioning himself and ramming inside of her. 

It made both of them let out sighs and gasps and Severus started moving, not stopping a second to take a breath as he thrusted into her, concentrating to hit her favourite spot. He was determined to send her and himself over the edge, gripping with one hand onto the table to support himself and letting his other hand slip to her core where he rubbed and cared for her clit. The table made a grating sound as its legs scraped above the ground and the wizard hoped it would not give up underneath them.

He listened to the sound of her moans as he felt the pleasure take over him in strong waves that threatened to let him drown while his legs and fingers started to tingle from the strain. Gasping for air, he heard his girl moan out his name and it took him over the edge, a stifled cry of pleasure left his throat as he released inside of her. He kept thrusting to ride out his high and noticed that his girl hadn´t reached hers yet. Leaning forwards, he bit her neck and rubbed her clit between his fingers as he concentrated on thrusting into the right spot inside of her with his weary growing cock. But it worked, just in time before he was completely out of shape, to get her over the edge and she let out cries of pleasure, shaking in his arms as she came down from her high. 

He held her, they were both panting and laying on the table exhaustedly. Severus´ legs felt as if they had given up and he could feel his semen flowing out of her as he pulled out. Lazily grabbing his wand, he waved it and cleaned up the mess. Letting himself fall back onto the chair, he pulled his girlfriend into his lap, letting her nuzzle the crook of his neck. They both panted softly and had their eyes closed in exhaustion, but they felt happy and pleased. 

“… I don´t want Molly to come back with her family.” The mighty wizard heard his girlfriend say and chuckle softly, resting his chin on top of her head.  
“Me neither.” 

After a few minutes, the black eyed man waved his wand again lazily and their clothes were brought back into place, not wanting to let them be exposed to the cold air any more.

“Would you like me to show you something?”

At that she looked up at him with curious eyes, nodding. With a chuckle Severus softly pushed her from his lap to be able to stand up and making to go out of the kitchen. 

\---

Holy lord, this had felt good. 

At this, Remus entered the kitchen, almost colliding with Sev. Your boyfriend looked annoyed for one second, then just rushed out of the room what made you giggle softly. His social awkwardness was, in a way, cute. As you watched the disappearing form of your boyfriend with a small smile, you noticed that Remus sat down onto the big table in front of you. A little embarrassed, you looked away from Sev. You didn´t want to be too affectionate to his former school mate in front of him, it was kind of awkward. 

To your surprise, he started to speak.

“He looks ... fine. I was worried that he´d never get out of his… “Your former professor tried to find the right words, but ended up not finishing his sentence. 

You knew what he wanted to say anyways. 

“Don´t worry.” You said firmly, making sure your words left no doubt. 

A tired smile pulled at Remus´ lips and he grabbed the daily prophet from the table, as if he wanted to play it off that he actually worried for the boy he bullied in school 20 years ago. 

Something worried you though. You opened your mouth to say something, but Remus sat there on the chair with his legs folded, head hidden behind the newspaper. It looked like he didn´t want to get interrupted, and you felt like a small child that was trying to speak to an adult. Well, you kind of were. 

“…Profess- er… R-Remus…?”

In your head you cursed yourself for stuttering, but it just felt too weird to call your former teacher by his name. 

A lift of his told him that he was listening and a second later, his eyes landed on you. 

“I was only wondering, since Dumbledore is… dead…. You don´t think that Severus works for the Dark Lord, do you?”

The silence that struck the air after you spoke your last word made you uncomfortable. Remus looked at you with the same kind and trustworthy expression as always though, what made you worry slight less. 

He folded his newspaper in half while he softly puckered his mouth, as if he was deep in thoughts.

“Well, I saw Severus turning to the dark side when he was young and I saw he protected Harry. I don´t think he is a bad guy. Has made some bad decisions, but deep down I think he knows what´s right. Though because of James and Lily he still sometimes loses himself to old grudge and anger.” The eyes of your former Professor had started to dart around the room while he spoke, but now they came to look at you intensively. “He told you about Lily. Right?”

You nodded. Yes, he did. When the two of you had been in his house, you had found an old turned down picture frame, showing two teenagers. One of them was clearly Severus and the other one had been a red haired girl. You´d asked your lover if she´d been his girlfriend and then Sev had started to tell you about his past. He´d told you that he never thought he would get over her and that you did a big deal of helping him with that. 

Remus showed you a small smile. “I´ve never hear him talk about Lily after her death. If he did so to you then he has to be serious about your relationship…” A small chuckle filled the room and he leaned back into his chair. 

A small blush crept onto your cheeks and you bit your lip. Starting to speak, you had to cough a little for your voice not to sound hoarse.

“I… just wanted to make sure that you actually trust him. I know Sev is not the most… kind person after all. But he is doing the right thing.”

Remus said nothing but you knew he agreed. 

-.-.-.-.-.-

Walking out of the kitchen, you searched for your boyfriend. He´d said that he wanted to show you something, so where was he? You opened a few doors on the small floor but your lover wasn´t in any of the rooms. Going downstairs, you saw the front door not being closed entirely. Surely he´d left it open for you. 

The air was freezing as you went outside and you pulled the sleeves of your jacket up to cover your knuckles. There he stood, on a small hill that was covered in frost. He fit so perfectly well into the scenery but you couldn´t quite say why. This street almost seemed as dreary as Spinner´s End, but there in the distance was a dark forest, a lonely playground in front of it. Everything was a shade of grey or black and Severus pale and dark appearance just blended in perfectly. 

Seconds later, you were standing next to him and wrapped your arms around the tall man in a hug. It didn´t seem to startle him as he put his hands onto yours and you frowned because they were surprisingly warm. Probably a spell. 

“You wanted to show me something?”

You asked curiously since your boyfriend normally didn´t announce things first before he did them. Severus replied by wrapping his arms around you and it made you smile in joy, leaning your head against his black winter coat. He responded by putting a kiss to your forehead. It had started to snow just when you had went out of the house and now tiny flakes of frost slowly rained down from heaven, as if time was actually frozen. 

A few of them got caught in your hair and on his jacket and your breaths came out in white puffs of air. It was a beautiful scenery. 

“I want to teach you how to conjure up your very own patronus.”

With big eyes you looked at him. Sure, he wanted to be DADA Professor after all.

“But…why now? Do I need it?”

Severus looked into the distance while he stroked over your hair, his black eyes haunting the tips of the pine trees.

“It is not about time, my love, it is for your own protection and safety. A patronus is not an easy spell and it´s better if you start learning right now.”

All you could do was just to stare at him. He just sometimes was unpredictable. But that was one of the things you loved about this man.

“In times like this you need to protect yourself from dementors. Some have been sighted only a few towns away.”

As much as you were scared of the dementors, you had only heard of patronuses before and you were dying to see one. A little excited, you took a hold of Sev´s hands, grinning at him. 

“You´re able to do conjure one up, aren´t you? Can I see yours, Sev?”

Usually, your boyfriend smiled when he saw your merry excitement, but not today. His expression kept blank and you asked yourself if something was off. Now you knew why his image fit so perfectly into this town. Your surroundings expressed melancholy and sadness and the same things were displayed in your boyfriend´s eyes, black orbs swaying with a heavy burden.

Right now you weren´t sure what to do, so you let go of your lover´s hand and he pulled out his wand. Next thing, he pulled your closer and kissed your lips tenderly. His action came to your surprise but you didn´t ask why. As you slowly pulled apart he turned to face the distant forest again. Taking a deep breath, he then pointed his wand into the air and almost only whispered a phrase. 

Light blue lightning shot out into the air. At first it seemed like a cloud of white dust, but then it took the shape of a doe. The animal elegantly walked around the couple on the small hill, the blue light almost melting together with the falling snow. He hadn´t been unpredictable. Today was the perfect day for a patronus. 

After some time, the doe faded and you looked at Severus with big eyes admiringly. The next thing your boyfriend said made you blush extremely. 

“You´ll need to think of a happy memory. I personally thought of our sweet kiss…”

He paused and you could feel that the next words didn´t leave his lips easily.

“Before I met you, my sweetest memory was one I shared with… Lily.” 

Not knowing what to say you just kept silent but took a hold of his hand and squeezed it softly. So that was why he was to tense. Probably because he felt guilty to have replaced his former dearest memory with one he shared with you. Your boyfriend had told you that he´d loved Lily but that know you were the only one he had feelings for. Moving on from Lily hadn´t been easy for him and she had been his best friend too after all. So you could understand why he felt guilty. But as he turned his head to look at you and gave you one of the smiles that instantly melted you, all grudge and sadness was forgotten.

Now that you had seen how beautiful the guardian animal looked, you also wanted to be able to summon yours, too. You practiced till the sun was clinging to the edge of the sky, darkness beginning to coat everything around you in shades of black, while you stood on the hill. Your wand drawn and slightly exhausted, you then managed your patronus, only able to do so because of the immense help of Severus. 

Finally, a blue light appeared around the hill and suddenly you felt warmth creep into your bones, warming you up from inside. As if the snow and ice around you had simply vanished, you looked around to see spots of light dance around the air to form an animal. 

Looking over at your boyfriend, being very proud to have made it, you saw that he had a mournful smile on his face. Not only that, but his eyes also shimmered suspiciously. 

Frowning, you took a step forwards. “Sev…? Is everything all right, hun?”

That was when your boyfriend pulled you towards him and embraced you in a tight hug and you noticed that his smile had not been sad but unbelievably happy. He pulled you closer and put a kiss onto your lips.

“Sev, what´s up?” You asked, reaching up with your hands to push back the strands of black hair that threatened to fall into his face.

“It´s the form of your patronus.”

You frowned again but he put another small kiss to your mouth, arms wrapped tightly around your waist. 

“But it doesn´t look at all like yours! Yours is a doe!” You said, really confused now. 

Severus only chuckled and stroked over your hair, looking at you with a deep smile. 

“Mine was just the same before it changed because of Lily.”

“And what does that mean?” You asked, still not getting it.

Your boyfriend only laughed out in relief.

“It means that I love you more than anything in this world.”

True love could change the forms of your patronus. Yours being the same type of animal like Severus´ meant that you two were meant for each other. You didn´t believe in this concept, but you believed in true love. And you knew that you loved him with all of your heart. 

.-.-.-.-.

Molly actually returned with her whole family. For you it meant that you and your lover had to be careful around the Weasley family. Well, there was a possibility of Harry already knowing your little secret, but you doubted he would tell anyone. Or so you hoped.

You and Severus had not been able to be together for a few days, not even at night since one of the over 10 other people in this house was always awake.  
The two of you used every uninterrupted second for a small kiss or a hug. Whenever Molly called for dinner, you tried to sit next to each other and secretly hold hands under the table. It felt so very annoying to not be able to be with him although you were so close. 

You noticed that Severus thought the same about the situation and his mood was mostly grumpy, what maybe also was caused by the Weasley brothers constantly trying to play a trick on him. 

You shared a room with Hermione and Ginny. They currently read in several books, trying to find out something about Horcruxes. Since you didn´t have anything else to do, you had offered to help them and now found yourself sitting on your bed, a book in front of that was as dry and boring as having your mother trying to explain taxes to you. 

That was when Molly called for dinner and thankfully let you escape this goddamn book. You could smell the delicious food already as you took a step out of your room and you hurried to the dining room. 

With joy you noticed that a seat next to Severus was empty and you made your way over to it, trying your best to not seem happy about it because everyone else was already sitting at the table. 

From the corners of your eyes you saw that your boyfriend did not look pleased. Fortunately, it was dark in the dining room, only a few candles on the table lit up the food. 

You took his hand into yours and instantly your boyfriend seemed to tense a lot less. He tightly squeezed your hand and you also wrapped your other one around his larger hand. You almost had the urge to soothe him. Well, you were getting along with everyone else in the house, but your boyfriend wasn´t that popular with the kids. Or the other adults. Or anyone except you. But that was okay as long as you were there for him. 

You raised one of your hands to put some food onto your plate. While you did that, Severus rested his hand onto your knee, just above the rim of your skirt. Startled by the sudden touch you almost let the fork fall onto your plate with a loud clink. A soft chuckle was heard from the side and you held yourself back from glaring at your boyfriend. 

Just now you noticed that the other people around you were caught up in a conversation. Molly had strictly forbid the adults to talk about, in her eyes, “dangerous” stuff in front of the children, but as Harry asked about dementors, Arthur Weasley had started to speak about that some of them had been sighted only a few miles away. 

Then Harry had started to talk about his patronus. Molly didn´t interfere with that, because talking about dear memories was actually a good thing. Not dangerous. 

“(…), what about you? Did you manage to conjure up your patronus already?”

The sudden question almost managed to startle you as hard as Severus´ touch, but you managed to answer just in time not to seem weird. 

“E-erm, yes, Mr Weasley. Actually, I have.”

Almost everyone looked at you with a surprised expression. Only Ron, Fred, George and Sirius and Remus did not look surprised or were either not paying attention since they sat on the other side of the large table. The other ones seemed to be really interested in your answer though. 

“Oh, really? You have to be a very talented young witch, then!”

“What´s its form?”

A little blush had crept up your cheeks by Arthur Weasleys comment, but Ginny´s question made you a bit uneasy. If you told them the true form of your patronus, maybe the adults that sat on this table would compare your one to Severus´ one? Did they know the form of his patronus before it had changed? There was a high chance that they knew. 

Everyone was expecting an answer from you so you just came up with the first animal you thought of.

“It´s a… d-dog.”

Ginny started giggling and Arthur laughed out. 

“What a coincidence! The patronus of my son Ronald is also a dog!”

Well, shit.

By that, everyone´s attention was on you and you bit your lip softly, looking into the direction Ron, who had been stuffing his face with food only seconds ago and now looked kinda confused at his father. Next to him sat Sirius and without anyone else noticing, he winked at you. Oh. Maybe he had seen from the window how Severus had taught you to form your patronus and Sirius had seen that it was definitely not a dog?

Also, at Arthur´s words, the hand that had been on your knee seconds ago had made its way up your thigh and under your skirt. Geez, Sev! He shouldn´t be so jealous. He knew perfectly well that your patronus was not the same as Ron´s but he behaved like a five year old when he was jealous. It was heavenly cute though. 

Not trying to react to that since everyone´s eyes were on you, you just smiled awkwardly.

“What kind of a dog?”

Ginny said and everyone else seemed to have just the same question on their minds. 

“A-a… Husky.”

Ginny seemed disappointed. 

“Ron´s a terrier. I heard that if two patronuses match, then the owners are meant for each other!”

At that, her mother shot her a warning gaze. 

“Ginny, don´t torture the poor girl like that! You heard it, they don´t match.”

“But maybe you´re soul-related…” Ginny whispered as she lowered her head under the gaze of her mother. 

Severus seemed to get more jealous at that and then you felt his fingers rub against you through your panties. It made you squirm a bit. For days you had wanted to have him again but it simply had not been possible. Oh how you wished for him to just take you here and now.

Your hand that was not busy with pretending to eat by only moving the spoon around in the soup, was now gripping into the cushion of your chair. Shooting a glance over at your boyfriend from the corners of your eyes you could see that he did a good job at pretending to eat while he was making you heat up in desire. 

It was hard to resist the urge of bucking your hips against his hand as you also proceeded with starting to eat, moving the spoon up to your lips and slurping the soup from it. In that moment, Severus pushed your panties aside with his fingers and continued to rub you, causing a sweet sensation to rush through your body. 

It almost made you almost choke on your soup as you were trying to stifle a quiet moan. By now you were sure that your face was red, considering that over 10 other people sat also at the table while your boyfriend pleased you!

Fortunately, the chattering and clinking was louder than the sounds you made. 

“Severus, can you pass over the salt, please?”

With an annoyed expression, Severus took his wand that laid next to his plate and with a wave of it, the salt flew over to Arthur.  
Oh how you did not want to get involved into conversations right now. 

“(…), dear, Hermione told me that you don´t like mushrooms but I hope the soup is okay for you otherwise!”

“Yes, d-don´t worry Mrs Weasley, I don´t even taste them in the soup, it´s very pleasing – er, I mean, delicious.”

Severus´s fingers dived in to you and you spread your legs even wider, hoping that he had some good access. It seemed like he did, because the black eyed man let his fingers suddenly rub circles into your clit. By now your wetness was coating his fingers and you wanted nothing more than to have them inside you. 

“Please, Sev…” You whined out silently.

Remus that sat next to you turned his head and looked at you questioningly. Oh, he thought you´d talked to him. 

“Pardon?”

“…p-please...can you give me the salt?” You croaked out, trying to muster up a smile that was not desperate because you desperately wanted to feel Severus´ fingers inside you right now. 

Remus took the salt and handed it over to you. Your mind was entirely focused elsewhere though and so you let the salt slip. While it felt you tried to catch it, but Remus did the same so you ended up awkwardly holding hands, the salt somewhere between the mess of tangled fingers. Muttering some apologies, you retreated your hands and put salt in your soup what was really not necessary, but it would be kind of rude to ask for the salt and then not use it. 

As you poured some salt into your soup, finally the long awaited fingers entered you. Biting your lip, you concentrated on not rocking your hips, not noticing that you were pouring a ton of salt into your food. Oh god, hopefully no one had seen that… 

Then the voice next to you almost made you sqeal. 

“Molly, I see your kids are very interested in… experimenting…” 

You looked dumbfounded at your boyfriend, who´s voice was not in any way different from the usual tone he had around people, also contrastingly not blushing like you did. How did he manage to keep so calm why you felt on fire? 

Mrs Weasley let out a sigh while your hands clawed into the tablecloth, long slender fingers rocking in and out of you in an agonizingly slow fashion. The red haired woman shot a glare at her twin sons.

“They are determined to sell novelties. I´d rather see them working in the ministry…”

Severus seemed to have risen a controversy by bringing up this subject. And you had a feeling that this plan of his was well-wrought. The whole Weasley family now seemed to argue and the twins suddenly stood up from the table, yelling something at their mom in unison and then something exploded in the corridor. Almost everyone was standing up and running to the crime scene to either save the twins from their enraged mother or to simply watch the firework that currently went off in the corridor. 

You didn´t really took note of all that because you had lowered your head, your breath coming out in shallow puffs of air while you bit your lip to hold in any of your moans. Only Ron still sat at the table, still stuffing his face with food. 

Severus took his fork and threw it onto the ground, then shooting you a lazy glance. 

“Will you pick that up for me?”

For two seconds you didn´t even realize his words but then you nodded eagerly, slipping under the table. Severus followed and the second you were both covered by the huge table cloth he spread your legs open and thrusted his fingers in and out of you with a force that would´ve made your scream if he hadn´t tightly pressed his hand onto your mouth. 

Your moans and cries of pleasure were stifled by his hand and you buried your face against his chest, finally getting what you wanted. It didn´t take you long to come as he drove his thumb into your clit and you shook while he kept you still in his arms. 

It took you a few seconds till you came down from your high and you panted, looking up at your boyfriend with an overly happy and spent expression.  
“Damnit, I love you” You breathed out, nuzzling into his neck as good as possible in a position that kept you huddled under the table.  
Your boyfriend had a smug grin plastered on his face and he leaned down to kiss your forehead. 

“We are soon going to be able to spend more time like this. I promise, my love.”

He put a sweet kiss onto your lips and then turned around to climb back onto his chair. As you looked down onto yourself, you had been magically cleaned up. Pulling up your panties you also climbed back onto your chair. 

No one had noticed your absence, but the others were slowly returning back to their seats, seeming not as pleased as you were.  
It looked like all of the Weasley kids were grounded, judging by their faces. Arthur only let out a sigh as he sat back down and Molly was still enraged.  
As much as you loved the Weasley family, you wished to be able to spend more time alone with your boyfriend. 

.-.-.-.-.

After dinner, Severus returned to his quarters. He had to keep up the semblance of a spy for the death eaters, so he made to write a letter to Lucius.  
Afterwards he apparated to another small town, where he conjured up an owl to send his letter. The death eaters shouldn´t know his real residence, after all. 

A reply came sooner that Severus thought it would, as Lucius appeared in front of him, black shadows all around him.  
Their greeting was short. 

“Lucius. I just sent you an owl in hopes of contacting you.”

“I know, Severus. You were gone for quite some time… But we don´t have time to discuss this matter, now. The Dark Lord wants to see you. It is very urgent. Don´t waste a second and come to the shrieking shack. ” 

And with that, he was already gone. 

Severus thought for a minute. Should he first go back to tell his girlfriend? But since Lucius had found him now, he maybe would track him down in the house at Grimmauld place. 

There were not many situations that overwhelmed the mighty wizard, but this was one of them. 

.-.-.-.-.-

“Severus. I awaited you.”  
Lifeless eyes stared into black ones. The tall man hated every second that he had to be here with him.  
“Do you remember this?” White intervened hands pulled the elder wand from beneath black coats.  
Severus nodded.  
A throaty laugh was heard.  
“Good. Because this is the reason you´re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment <3  
> Also, please check out another story I wrote about conjuring a Patronus! it´s only 700 words but it means much to me :)
> 
> I did my best to discribe the Weasley family... and I´m not good with conversations, but I did my best and I hope you like it <3  
> Buy me a coffee?  
> [Support Me on Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/N4N4ID93)  
> [](https://ko-fi.com/N4N4ID93)


	11. chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what is going to happen to Severus and holy sh*t, does anyone read this summary at all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for everyone that has longed for this chapter but now it´s finally happening and I can´t believe it myself!!!  
> So prepare for this to be the last chapter!  
> I´m so thankful for every like and every comment that you have thrown at me <3 I love you guys! (detailed epilogue at the end of the chapter)

It came out of nowhere. Long, sharp fangs that attacked the black haired man, no matter his hasty tries of escaping the poisonous beast.

The dark Lord was long gone, his victory beyond doubt. A repeatedly loud thump was heard.

“(y/n)…”

With all his might, Severus concentrated on his thought, this imagine in his mind and not get distracted by the beautiful red flowers that bloomed rapidly on the walls and the floor.

“(y/n)…”

The weak voice echoed through the shrieking shack, out into the lonely night. Suddenly, rapid steps were heard, nearing the horrifying crime scene. The steps seemed to scare away the snake, its contours blurring the more it retreated.

“Professor” It was the Potter boy. He knelt down and helplessly tried to save this situation but not even a needle and a thread would have helped these wounds.

“Professor Snape…”

A hand gripped tightly around the boys.

“If I´ll die” the hand violently let go of the younger wizard’s one because the black haired man’s body was shaken by a heavy cough, painting more flowers onto the ground. The darkest eyes searched for a sign that the other one listened closely to his next words.

“Make sure to look after (y/n)”

Harry nodded and with that, Severus Snape took his last breath.

Harry, close to crying, nodded and hastily raised to his feet, running out into the snowy night with the last memories of his professor´s first love.

 

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

The potions professor closed his eyes, once and forever and – took an annoyed sigh.

“For god´s sake! If he´d stayed here for longer, I really would´ve died…” The black haired man snarled and pulled out a little flask. On the cover it said “Anti-Venom”.

Who thought they could kill a potions master with poison? Why did they think Snape would value his life so faintly to not even try to save himself? And what about these wounds? He was the goddamned half-blood prince. Some small scratches wouldn´t stop him.

The mighty wizard watched how the paintings streamed over the floor, back into their painter. After taking a few deep breaths, he felt alive again.

The black eyed man had to fetch his girlfriend now before Harry got to her. Well, considering that the boy would first go to Hogwarts to look into Sev´s memories and then probably start to fight Voldemort, there was no rush in getting to her before him.

Severus was sure the boy would win against the dark lord. The potions master had almost gave his life to make Voldemort believe he had completely power over the elder wand now. And this would be Harry´s chance to win.

Severus had imagined how his role would play out in the end the moment Dumbledore had told him that Lily had died. He´d been sure that he would also die. And back in the days, his own death had been everything he´d wished for. But a certain person had stepped into his life, made a huge chaos and pulled him out of this deep black hole that had stifled his feelings and will to live. In other words, he didn´t plan on dying anymore.

The cold wind let Sev´s body shivered as he stepped out into the snowy night. In the distance, he could see Hogwarts burning down. The building that had been his home for so many years, being destroyed in a fight. He couldn´t afford to lose any second.

 

× Ɔ ɷ C ×

The world around you seemed to crumble. Hastily you fought your way through the mess of death eaters that were trying to destroy Hogwarts and everyone in their way.

You´d been fighting for hours now, the work had left you quite exhausted. Your heart pounded like crazy in your chest and you panted as you sneaked along the hallways. Death could wait at every corner, behind every door and you had to be prepared for it at every second.

Constantly you tried to clear your thoughts even though your head was full a single question: Where was Severus?

Your boyfriend had only told you that he wanted to speak to someone but he hadn´t returned. You had waited and waited and then the Order had wanted to leave. You hadn´t wanted to sit around and wait for Severus to come back and you wanted to defend your school so of course you had went with them.

But when you´d arrived at Hogwarts, the fight had already started and you and you´d been parted from your friends. Now you were in the north part of the castle. It was silent around you, in the distance there were explosions and when you looked out of the window you could see deadly spells and chaos. Something was wrong with this silence.

Carefully you placed your feet and tried not to step into broken glass and make noise. Although you desperately tried to concentrate on every sound, your head was raging. Where was your boyfriend? Had he gotten attacked by the person that he had wanted to speak with? Had he spoken with a death eater? Had he… was it possible that Severus had lied to you all along, with every word he ever said, and now fought at the other front for Voldemort? No. That just couldn´t be.

Your doubts had overshadowed the death eater that suddenly bursting the wall next to you. You got hit by the explosion and the forced throwing you through the air. Your body hit the wall on the other side of the hallway with a loud crack and you let out a pained groan. Dust hid your enemies but without having any doubts you reached for your wand and shot a spell onto one of them.

He blocked it with an easy move of his hand and you jumped to your feet and took a step back. As the dust had settled you could see that there were two of them.

Two death eaters against a student. Well, your chances weren´t the best but you certainly didn´t plan on losing without a fight. If only Severus were here… Desperately you tried to push your worries away and concentrate for a second. With a quick move of your arm you tried to attack one of the death eaters, but he blocked the spell again.

You took more and more steps back, realizing you were stepping out into the night. The ceiling had been destroyed above you and there were no walls left to surround and hide you. And also, you were backing up into a cliff. Even though you were in danger, you could only think of your boyfriend. Was he hurt? Where was he?

Jumping to the left, you dodging a spell and blocked another one, wiping the sweat from your forehead with your sleeve. Slowly but surely desperation showed up on your face and took over your body. It controlled your moves and adrenalin shot your senses, keeping you concentrated and wide awake. One wrong move and you were dead.

You dodged again, but as you did you slipped on a small stone and fell to the ground. Reflexively you tried to support yourself with your arms as you were falling, not able to block the spell that disarmed you, an invisible force flinging your wand to the right.

Now you were standing there with nothing to protect you and you helplessly raised your arms in a fighting position, what only earned some snickering from the death eaters.

You watched almost in slow motion as one of them lifted their arm and pointed his wand at you, shouting a spell that was sure to kill or kick you over the cliff down into your undoing. A high pitched sound roaring in your ears as the spell hit you and you got thrown backwards. You opened your mouth to scream but couldn´t hear if it actually made a sound.

So that was it. You died in the place where you met the love of your life. The man of your dreams that loved you and cherished you. Not for one second you could believe that he had changed sides. No, that simply wasn´t true. But he wasn´t here. Maybe it was better this way. That meant that he was still alive. Hopefully he wouldn´t have to see your corpse. At least… at least you died in a battle. In the place where everything had begun. Good and bad times, wonderful times, even better times. Your heart was owned by a wonderful man. And this is why you did not feel scared as you fell down.  
But what was that? Black smoke surrounded you and for a second you thought that you must´ve been so high up that you feel onto a black cloud. But the material seemed to get more solid, it seemed to slow down your fall, to carry you.

In a few seconds, the smoke had set you back down onto where you´d fallen from. The black smoke didn´t stay with you, it strode forwards onto the two death eaters. And shortly before it hit them, the form of it changed.

Severus had finally found you. There was no doubt. It was his voice that roared a few spells at the two man and they dissolved into fine dust immediately. You had never seem him this angry. But as he turned around to you, his anger melted and he smiled.

With tears in your eyes you ran up to him and the both of you embraced each other. It felt so good to be back in his arms, to smell the scent of his coat, to press him tightly against your body, to know that you were safe.

His image was all blurred as you looked up and Severus smiled at you and leaned down to kiss away your tears.

“I´m there now.”

He cooed and you almost broke out into tears again, nodding in joy.

“I-I was so worried about you” You managed to say, wiping the tears out of your eyes to be able to see him better. Oh. He looked bad. His skin white as a sheet, almost having a purple tint in some places. His eyes bloodshot, his lips chapped.

“S-sev, is everything alright?”

Your voice shook violently and you cupped his cheek with one of your hands, looking into his eyes as yours filled with water again.  
But Severus nodded and kissed your forehead.

“Don´t worry, love. It´s the aftermath of the poison. I…” for a second he seemed to be hesitant and looked down at his shoes. The world around you didn´t matter. The love of your life was safe and sound and held you in his arms. Well, apart from the thing he´d said about poison. “I…” Sev looked up again and his eyes were shimmering strangely. “You are my everything. And I love you more than any other thing is this world. I almost died today so I won´t waist another moment with asking this…

Do you want to spend the rest of your life together with me?”

Your eyes filled up with water and you held your hands in front of your mouth to muffle the sobs of joy that threatened to come out of your mouth.

“Does that mean… you want to m-marry me?”

Severus took your hands into his and that was when you noticed that your boyfriend was just as nervous. He leaned your forehead against yours and raised his hand to cup your cheek.

“Yes.” He said.

You knew he did his best to keep his voice steady but it sounded a little shaky nonetheless.

“Sev…” You wrapped your arms around his neck, and your boyfriend pulled your closer.

“What do you say?” For the first time in forever there was fear in his voice but you chuckled and looked up into his eyes.

“Yes!Yes!Yes!”

The tears in your eyes streamed down your cheeks but you didn´t even notice them because Severus had gripped around your hips and was now spinning you around. As he set you down onto the ground, you two shared a loving kiss together. So many joyful thoughts flooded your head. You were going to marry the man you loved.

“I love you, (y/n).” Severus murmured into your hair as he held you tightly against him. “And I don´t want to put you into danger.” His voice got serious and you looked up at him.

“Come with me.”

“You mean we should go away?” You turned around and watched the horrifying scene as Hogwarts was destroyed in a bunch of different coloured lights. As you turned around again, he had put out a hand towards you. If you would take it, that meant that you´d have to say goodbye to your life. Also to your friends, to your family, to everything that you knew and disappear with the man that you were technically not allowed to be with.

But given the circumstances, you knew it was necessary. Even if Harry conquered Voldemort, his supporters would try to bring him back. Severus was now known as a traitor and should not try to cross their paths. Or let them cross his.

“I will follow you, Sev.”

 

¯°º»Ɔ o C«º°¯

\- Three Months later –

You heard your soon-to-be-husband chuckle behind the newspaper. At this your head perked up and you looked at him expectantly.  
“Does it say something interesting? Let me know, Sev!”

“Well, according to the news, I´m still dead and you´ve been reported missing.”

It was a strange feeling to see your face underneath bold letters that said “MISSED”. You sat down at Sev´s lap and he smiled at you, laying an arm around your waist and leaning in to softly kiss your lips. After he had asked you to marry him, you two had straightly apparated to the small hut in the snow. Here you spent the time reading the daily prophet, hoping to finally hear that the last one of Voldemort´s supporters had been found.

The Ministry of Magic was trying to eliminate each one of them to destroy the dark lord’s power once and for all. It was simply too dangerous to go back now. The fight of Hogwarts had not only destroyed the school but also many people´s lives. It wasn´t the right moment to announce your relationship. Because this is what you planned. After you would return to the Wizarding World, you would stop living in a secretive manner. And you were going to get married.

With a proud expression on your face, you glanced at the beautiful ornament on your left ring finger. Severus had given you a ring of his mother before, but this was what once had been her engagement ring. You felt quite honoured to be allowed to call it your own now. Your very own engagement ring.  
Sev chuckled as he caught you in how you admired the ring and he put a quick kiss to your forehead. A small giggle left your throat and you nuzzled his neck. His hand came to caress your side, then he rested it on top of your belly.

“I cannot wait to start a new life with you. With our new family.”

It was calming to hear his words. In this times, you still had to be careful. Although your life was cozy and interesting, far from any turmoil that you could run into in the world of wizards, there were still some supporters from the dark side.

Severus seemed to have noticed the slight fear coming up although his previous words had been full of joy. His arms pulled you tighter into his embrace and he buried his nose into your hair as he spoke.

“Don´t worry, my love. I will protect you. You and…. Our family.”

 

\- many years later -

“Come on, mum, we don´t want to be late!” An eleven year old child waved its hand to make you notice his demand. The father of the boy held the other hand, both of them waiting for you.

“I´m coming, darling!”

This place just held so many memories. Wonderful, exciting memories that you would never trade for anything. Taking a few steps onto the platform, you came to a stop next to your husband and child. As you breathed in the steam of the old locomotive and let your gaze slip over the scenery, seeing all types of different people, you felt like home.

“Mum, I have to get on the train now.”

Your sons words made your head spin, and you looked down at him, smiling proudly.

“Of course, darling.”

The child groaned. “Don´t call me that in front of everyone!”

You couldn´t hold in a giggle at that and looking at his father, you saw that he was doing just the same. Your eyes locked and a warm smile formed on both of your faces. Severus gave you a small nod and you leaned down to your son.

“Do you know that your father used to teach at your new school?”

Surprised, the child looked up at you, shaking his head and tugging at his father´s sleeve.

“You never told me, dad!”

Severus sighed softly but leaned down to him. “It´s true, I once taught at Hogwarts. This is why I know that it is the safest place on earth and you don´t have to be scared.”

A slight blush formed at the kid´s face, not wanting to admit that he was in fact scared of his first year, as the train let out a loud whistle. The sound hurt your eyes and made you put your hands over your ears, laughing out as you noticed that Severus held his hands over the ears of your son and scowled because his ears were not protected from the uncomfortable sound.

As it was over, you leaned forwards to kiss him. You´d always imagined how it would be to have a family. How it would be to bring your kids to the train that you once had taken every year to go to the most magical place on earth. Now this moment was here and you couldn´t be more happy.  
The other children around you pushed into the train and you hugged your son from behind.

“I´ll miss you…” “D-don´t hug me…” But your son turned around and hugged you back then, already missing you and his dad.

“We´ll write to you!” “And send your favourite cookies!”

And with these words, your child left for Hogwarts. Seeing him entering the train let happy tears raise to your eyes and you grabbed your husband´s hand, holding it tightly. Sev squeezed your hand comfortingly, kissing your head.

“I´m so proud of him. I know he´ll do good.”

With a small smile the both of you waved as the train left the station and you really tried not to start crying because you already missed him. Severus noticed and pulled you into a hug. After all this years, his presence still managed to let you forget every one of your doubts and problems and only made you feel very warm and loved inside.

“I miss Hogwarts.” You said after a few minutes, still pressed against his chest. A hum from Sev told you that he agreed. “It´s such a special place for me, also because… I met you there. At every beginning of the new school year I would stand exactly on this spot, finally able to return to Hogwarts and see you again.”

You noticed how Severus held you tighter and buried his nose in your hair. When you two had disappeared after the battle of Hogwarts, you had spent a few years waiting till all of Voldemort´s supporters finally had been found. Your son had been almost three years old then but you hadn´t wanted to return earlier, because you hadn´t wanted to put him in any danger. Many of Voldemort´s supporters longed for your husband to be dead since he was a traitor. After you had returned to the wizarding world, things had been different. There was no longer a dark force that was making people scared and put them in danger. Also, you and Severus had decided to no longer keep your relationship secret. Since the newspaper said that Severus had been killed and you had been missing since years, everyone had been surprised as you´d returned with an almost 3 year old son, being engaged since almost 5 years. But you had been out of Hogwarts for a long time and Severus wasn´t a teacher anymore. Although it took them a little, they accepted your relationship.

Seven months afterwards you had married. It was a beautiful spring wedding. All of your friends came, your family, the ones that were left from the Order, The Weasleys, The Potters and some Professors had been there. You had never seen Severus more proud as when he stood there, waiting for you at the altar.

Both of you had thought that it was for the best if Severus didn´t go back to teaching at Hogwarts. Although he had great knowledge, his qualities for being a teacher and dealing with students was rather poor. So he had decided to use his knowledge in another way and starting his own potions store in Diagon alley. While he was brewing and writing his own books about herbs and potions, you stood at the checkout and helped people finding what they needed in the shop.

Even though it hadn´t been easy in the beginning, you had sold his parent´s house in spinner´s end. There were too many bad memories that stuck to the old walls like glue, making Severus falling back into old habits when he spent more than a few weeks in the house, so you had moved to a lovely house in a city with many wizard-families.

Being a father had changed Severus. He had learned how to be patient, how to care for a child and for a family. He surely was nothing like his own dad and with how caring Severus was he really made you proud.

Your parents often came to visit and even though they were a bit shocked in the beginning, they accepted Severus and almost broke out in tears as they saw their grandson for the first time. All in all, you and your husband lived a happy life together. Sometimes you two got in a fight, but you always found back together and helped each other through hard times.

And now you were standing at the platform 9 ¾, your son going off to Hogwarts.

“I wonder if he´ll get into Gryffindor or Slytherin.” You mumbled out against Severus coat and he released you from his embrace.

“Does that matter?” He asked as he leaned down and put a kiss to your lips. His words brought a smile to your face, being amazed once more for how thoughtful and tolerant he was.

“You´re right, it doesn´t matter.”

For a moment you just stared at Sev, raising a hand to stroke through his hair and just look at him. He had gotten older but so had you though he still had this looks that you absolutely smitten with him. His eyes were warm and full of love when he looked at you, and you had forgotten how they had once looked at you, full of coldness. This had been years ago and the love of your life had turned into a loving and caring man. Your man.

“Do you still remember how we used to meet after school?” You said, almost to yourself and not to him but Severus chuckled.

“And do you remember this?” He put his hand into the pocket of his coat, fishing out his wallet and pulling out a piece of paper from it. For a few seconds you only stared at it as a light went on in your head and you took it from his hand carefully, your eyes widening as you read the words on it.

“This is… the love letter I wrote to you…” With big eyes you looked up at Severus. “You… kept it after all this time?”

“Always.”

Not being able to hold back, you grabbed him by his collar and pulled him into a passionate kiss. After a minute you pulled back though, a questioning look on your face.

“I still wonder, how did you know that it was me who wrote the letter? You´ve had to figure it out because you then left a note on my bed in the dorm and-“  
Severus broke out into soft laughter and your expression went blank.

“I knew because you used the paper from the same scroll that you used for your potion homework.”

A look of shock gripped you and for a minute you questioned why your younger self had been so stupid, but then you also broke out into laughter. It maybe had been stupid, but otherwise Severus hadn´t known that the letter was from you.

“Should we go now?”

Your husband nodded and gripped your hand. From the corner of his eyes you noticed that he had a smug grin on his face.

“Although I miss the little brat, I´m looking forwards to have you all to myself while he isn´t at home…”

A blush crossed your cheeks and Sev chuckled as he saw, making you softly hit his arm but he just pulled you closer and gave you a kiss.

“Let´s go.”

EPILOGUE

So this is the end. I can´t believe I wrote 50k words for what started out only to be a little experiment for myself! I have NEVER thought I would once write fanfictions with Snape, because my younger self hated him. Well, things change. Thanks to Alan Rickman, I fell for this black haired potions master. This is the proof that Alan is a hell of a great actor and people even become his fans after his death! So thank him because without him, there wouldn´t be this story.  
I want to thank everyone that read my work, gave likes and made comments. You guys gave me so much motivation and happiness, it´s unbelievable! I´m a little sad though because this story is over. But i´m also happy that I made it.  
I really can´t thank you guys enough for your support, and I hope that some of you will still stick around <3  
So thank you.  
XX

btw I HAVE ANOTHER SNAPE X READER STORY its here on my account, go check it out if you wanna!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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